'Regular' Customer Problems

[PoliteBoy]

I was having such a nice week before this happened.

Today, one of our (apparent) regulars came in and I was leading them to their seat when they asked for the 'usual' seat, which just so happened to be booked today.

Urgh...

My manager caved and gave them the seat, and told me to change the reservation sign to a different table, which I forgot and one of the new girls ended up taking to. We lucked out and had a table in the same aisle clear out.

Seriously, one day at a different table isn't going to kill you. (I'm probably overthinking this)

Well, they're not as bad as this one family that used to come all the time. USED TO.

Their son was alright, but the mother and father were absolutely terrible to serve. They'd come on Sundays (joyous) and basically they'd complain about every little thing that would go wrong on a Sunday.

I pass their table, and they would complain where their drinks were even though I'm swamped and it hasn't even been five minutes since they sat down.

I don't handle the food, but they still complain to me where the food is (probably steaming or was pre-ordered by other people).

Well they haven't been back for a year now, they probably got sick of us.

Anyway, have u ever had regulars that have gotten all pissy against you?

[Sleepwalker]

I had a family(well, really, just the grandmother) who took issue with my 'attitude' when we first met. We were having a 'buy a meal, get a free dessert', and since it was icecream, letting people hold on to their receipts to bring up after the meal to get the dessert if they so desired.

Well, husband comes up to the counter, says they are ready for dessert, and I ask if they have their order number or receipt so I can see what to make. He goes back to the table, and Grandma becomes a banshee. HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE MY HUSBAND IS A LIAR. WE HAVE BEEN COMING HERE FOR 50 YEARS, HOW DARE YOU CALL US THIEVES. WE KNOW (Owner McOwnerson, Sr.) AND HE WILL FIRE YOUR ASS. Lady, I know the (retired) owner too, and he is the most evil, shouty penny pincher you will ever meet, and his son is just as bad. He once reamed out some customers for using too many creamer packets in their coffee. You don't hold a candle to him, and he sure as shit isn't going to have sympathy for your plight. Anyway, I was the manager on duty and she didn't actually have goodbuddy owner's number(shocker, I know), so nothing happened but some pissy phone calls to the store.

After that, she'd sit in her car and glare at me through the windows for about 5-10 minutes before coming in. Her order had to be relayed through her husband or a grandchild, she wouldn't speak to me. Wonderfully, she came in twice a week. It was torture not being able to laugh out loud at this bitchy old lady in her leopard print and fur stole hating me with all her shriveled heart. On the plus side, Grandpa held onto that receipt afterward, and didn't seem to carry a grudge.

[Slave to the Phone]

Our regular customers constantly complain about the wait times and how cold the building is. Everyone does, but our regulars are worse about it. "EVERYTIME WE COME HERE, WE HAVE TO SIT AND WAIT FOR HOURS!!! WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING?" Well, lets start with the part that I'm not management, and even if I was, I couldn't just hire more people. There is no place to put them and extra people have to be approved through the political process.

ITS ALWAYS SO COLD IN HERE, WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?!?! Honestly, if you come here on a regular basis, you know that its going to be cold. Bring a sweater or jacket. Not to mention the part where I'm not management and have NO control over the temp. There are state rules about temps in government buildings as well.

[Food Lady]

My simplest customers are my regulars. And I mean simple as in Simon.

[Slave to the Phone]

My simplest customers are my regulars. And I mean simple as in Simon.

Cracking up. I didn't think that anyone knew what "simple" meant anymore. We have a cat named "Simple" and I have to explain what it means all the time. He's very sweet and I don't want to call him stupid, he always uses his litter box and he knows to come when its dinner time, but, yeah...he's simple.

[notalwaysright]

ITS ALWAYS SO COLD IN HERE, WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?!?! Honestly, if you come here on a regular basis, you know that its going to be cold. Bring a sweater or jacket.

And be a responsible adult?! But seriously, I don't go anywhere without at least a light coat. I have several which are are the weight of long sleeved t shirts. Even this horribly hot summer, I'd bring something to put on when I was going into a grocery store or any other place with AC. Since I know that I immediately become cold, I try to think ahead and be prepared, instead of whining like a child.

'Kay, regular customers... Mostly the ones I can think of at my work are pretty nice. There is one lady who I never remember, but after I help her she tells me that I'm always so helpful. I honestly never remember her, she doesn't give me grief, but she always uses the same phrase to thank me, so I know it's the same person.

There is Pattern Lady. The chronic pattern returner who stands at the pattern table for hours, usually with pearls and red lipstick like it's the 50s. Oh, there used to be this awful woman. She was very large, and used the motorized cart, and we'd hear her coming and run! Mostly a manager ended up helping her. You know how sometimes the packaging on a product will change? Yeah, cue meltdown. A manager was trying to explain, but the woman said that she was wrong, that it was not the same product! She made her call the nearest store to us. The person at that store said, um we have that product but it's the same thing with different packaging...? The woman started shrieking at the phone (that my manager was holding) that it's NOT THE SAME!!!1! Do we think she's dumb??? Various stuff like that. Any time she came it it was something horrible like that. Haven't seen her in months.

[Kogarashi]

Our only regular we dreaded seeing was the lady who was never officially caught swapping price stickers, but the evidence was all there and she came with unsubstantiated price matches too.

She'd always single out the newest cashier she could find in the hopes that they wouldn't be on to her shenanigans yet. She'd have two piles. One was stuff that was supposedly on clearance or sale or something, and yet the price stickers (those small ones with the asterisk cutout shape through them so that if you peel them off once, it's painfully obvious) were all loose and half the time you'd find a regular-price sticker pasted over a more expensive clearance sticker (would never actually happen with actual employees). Because those stickers didn't have product names printed on them (too small), I guess she figured cashiers would just take the stickers at face value, though when she came through my line and I caught it I pointed out that regardless of the pricing sticker, which was there purely for customer convenience, any and all price changes were entered at the barcode level so the front-end registers would ring up the correct price just from scanning the barcodes. The CSM I called for this pile of supposedly clearance merchandise vetoed all the price reductions on the grounds that "somebody's kid must've been swapping stickers, because these have clearly been peeled off of other items." No direct accusing the lady, because we had no hard evidence, but basically making it painfully obvious that we knew what she'd done and she wasn't going to get away with it. The catbutt face was pretty impressive.

Her other pile of items was the price-match stuff. One problem: she never brought the competitor's ad with her to show off the price match. Instead, she claimed she'd spoken to CSM Soandso (she knew their names so she could easily name-drop them) and they said it was fine "just this once." No dice, lady, we still have to hear it from the CSM's lips. When she came through my line, I called up CSM Awesome who told her, "Fine, just this once because you spoke to Soandso. But next time bring the ads with you." The lady agreed and I did the price matches.

A week or two later, I get asked for help by a newer cashier, and turn around to find Repeat Scammer at the register. The newer cashier was asking for help with price matching, and I could see that impressive catbutt face appearing on Repeat Scammer's face when she realized I knew her tricks and she wasn't going to be able to fool the newer cashier. I simply explained to the woman that CSM Awesome had told her the last time that she needed to bring the ads with her or we couldn't price match. Lady didn't want half her stuff anymore. Newer cashier at least had the sense to page the CSM herself when she found the sticker-swapped stuff, and I got to overhear one of the CSMs tell Repeat Scammer that she wasn't getting those "discounts" either that day.

It was a small town. I'm really not sure how this lady expected to get away with this repeatedly when odds were good at some point someone was going to recognize her face outside of the store. And eventually she was going to run out of newbie cashiers, or at least get the ones who ask their neighbors for help instead of blindly overriding prices all day long.

[MoonCat]

We have this one guy who places ads for real estate. I swear he must be on meds and sometimes doesn't take them. Sometimes he's excessively happy, sometimes he's nasty.

I called him once to see if he wanted to renew his last ad. This is how the convo went:

Me: Hello, this is...
Customer: Hello, hello, hello!...Hello, hello...Hello, hello, hello! Hello, hello, hello! Hello hello hello!
Me: ...This is Mooncat calling from the Daily Rag to ask if you--
Customer: ARE YOU USING A PHONE OR A TOMATO CAN?!
Me: ...
Me: *click*

Because I was SO not in the mood for shit. I mean, seriously....he starts chirping "hello" over and over and OVER like some crack-addled canary and then the second I open my mouth he gets stupid...Just, NO. Not dealing with this. He's nasty more often than he's pleasant. I am polite, I may come here and vent but on the phone at work I am professional, calm and as pleasant as I can be. But sometimes I just can't deal with it.

[Lace Neil Singer]

We have a regular who used to be an SC, but is a lot better now. He always came in at five minutes to closing time to fill his huge van to the brim, and faffed about in the shop so that anyone working that day would end up leaving late. So we took steps to stop him by coning off the entrance earlier. After a few times when he got shut out, he took the hint and started showing up half an hour earlier.