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Some things I'd love to say to my customers....
Christmas time in photo-retailing.
Photo Printing Customers:
No, your phone does not take good photos, that's why this giant print you ordered looks like crap.
Yes, you need a real camera to get a decent print.
No, I'm not trying to cheat you here.
No, don't look at me, look at the screen.
Yes, you can use the kiosk.
No?
Can you read English and follow instructions? Then yes, you can use the kiosk.
No, I can't stand here and hold your hand printing photos while there's a shop full of people waiting for me.
It's 30min to close, no this photo order for 400+ prints won't be ready before I shut the door and shut you out of my life.
No, your photos won't look like they do on your phone/laptop unless it's calibrated.
No, I'm not making this up.
Passport Photo Customers
No, this is not a portrait photo, it's a passport photo.
No, we do not have a spare shirt because you forgot your own. (See first line!)
No, I will not stand here waiting while you do your make up. (See first line!)
No, your baby is fast asleep, we can not take the photo right now.
No, do not wake your baby up here, you'll make me need my earplugs.
NO, DEFINITELY DO NOT POKE YOUR BABY UNTIL SHE WAKES UP AND STAND IN THE DOORWAY WITH YOUR SCREAMING BABY STOPPING CUSTOMERS FROM COMING IN!
No, it's after 5:30 (closing time) we're closed, we can't take your passport photo.
No, it's after 5:30 again, we're closed. (Yes, she came back the same time the next day.)
Old People
Yes, we're happy to serve you, but no we don't want your life story.
No, we still don't want your life story.
No, we don't carry Pentax anymore, no one wants to buy it
No, Pentax is not the "best" brand any more.
No, I will not speak up, if you need your hearing aids, use them.
No, I don't have time to just talk about things irrelevant to the sale.
No, I will not repeat myself 5 times because you didn't listen to anything I've just told you. (Well same goes for everyone else)
People with "professional" friends
No, what your "professional" friend says is bullsh*t.
Yes, s/he may like Brand X, but that doesn't make it any better than Brand Y.
No, what your spouting is crap.
No, I don't care if a "professional" said it, it's a total crap.
No, this photo was not taken by a "professional."
No, it doesn't matter what you say, there is no way this photo was taken by a "professional."
People with photos taken by actual professionals
No, we can't reproduce this work due to copyright laws.
No, the $5-10 we'd make from this sale is not worth the tens of thousands in fines to the company.
No, the $5-10 we'd make from this sale is not worth the thousands in fines to myself and the loss of a job.
No, this is not bad customer service.
No, our cheap photos are not professional quality - you get what you pay for.
People who think they're professionals
No, I don't care if you're a professional.
Yes, most people who come in telling me they're a professional are usually not any good.
No, it doesn't matter how much money you've spent with us, I'm not just going to drop my pants because you want me to.
No, I don't have time to talk sh*T about different techniques/technology.
No, if you're asking me how to shoot a wedding, you're not a professional.
Christmas time in photo-retailing.
Photo Printing Customers:
No, your phone does not take good photos, that's why this giant print you ordered looks like crap.
Yes, you need a real camera to get a decent print.
No, I'm not trying to cheat you here.
No, don't look at me, look at the screen.
Yes, you can use the kiosk.
No?
Can you read English and follow instructions? Then yes, you can use the kiosk.
No, I can't stand here and hold your hand printing photos while there's a shop full of people waiting for me.
It's 30min to close, no this photo order for 400+ prints won't be ready before I shut the door and shut you out of my life.
No, your photos won't look like they do on your phone/laptop unless it's calibrated.
No, I'm not making this up.
Passport Photo Customers
No, this is not a portrait photo, it's a passport photo.
No, we do not have a spare shirt because you forgot your own. (See first line!)
No, I will not stand here waiting while you do your make up. (See first line!)
No, your baby is fast asleep, we can not take the photo right now.
No, do not wake your baby up here, you'll make me need my earplugs.
NO, DEFINITELY DO NOT POKE YOUR BABY UNTIL SHE WAKES UP AND STAND IN THE DOORWAY WITH YOUR SCREAMING BABY STOPPING CUSTOMERS FROM COMING IN!
No, it's after 5:30 (closing time) we're closed, we can't take your passport photo.
No, it's after 5:30 again, we're closed. (Yes, she came back the same time the next day.)
Old People
Yes, we're happy to serve you, but no we don't want your life story.
No, we still don't want your life story.
No, we don't carry Pentax anymore, no one wants to buy it
No, Pentax is not the "best" brand any more.
No, I will not speak up, if you need your hearing aids, use them.
No, I don't have time to just talk about things irrelevant to the sale.
No, I will not repeat myself 5 times because you didn't listen to anything I've just told you. (Well same goes for everyone else)
People with "professional" friends
No, what your "professional" friend says is bullsh*t.
Yes, s/he may like Brand X, but that doesn't make it any better than Brand Y.
No, what your spouting is crap.
No, I don't care if a "professional" said it, it's a total crap.
No, this photo was not taken by a "professional."
No, it doesn't matter what you say, there is no way this photo was taken by a "professional."
People with photos taken by actual professionals
No, we can't reproduce this work due to copyright laws.
No, the $5-10 we'd make from this sale is not worth the tens of thousands in fines to the company.
No, the $5-10 we'd make from this sale is not worth the thousands in fines to myself and the loss of a job.
No, this is not bad customer service.
No, our cheap photos are not professional quality - you get what you pay for.
People who think they're professionals
No, I don't care if you're a professional.
Yes, most people who come in telling me they're a professional are usually not any good.
No, it doesn't matter how much money you've spent with us, I'm not just going to drop my pants because you want me to.
No, I don't have time to talk sh*T about different techniques/technology.
No, if you're asking me how to shoot a wedding, you're not a professional.
Drop your pants?
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