Infuriating Call

[Erinesque]

I had a call yesterday that was the worst one in a long time. I work in the small business part of the call center, so our department only helps people who have small businesses, obviously (supposedly).

My call came in, and it was a fellow employee, who happens to be in the "manager" queue. This customer had been transferred to her by a regular rep because the customer either could not or would not verify his business account. Since I didn't have access to the call, I can only presume that when she wouldn't give him information about his account when he wouldn't verify it, he demanded a supervisor, and she transferred him, like she was supposed to.

The supervisor was able to verify the customer, and got the verification I need to help with online banking. She warned me that he was a piece of work, and told me that he had asked to be compensated for his having to wait to get his online banking working again.

Now, here's the thing - he locked himself out of his online banking because he entered something wrong, then he called the personal customer service line, which has an exorbitantly long waiting time, then he refused to verify his account, demanded a supervisor, and then had to be transferred a second time to me. All of this could have been avoided if he had called the small business line directly (which is posted on the site when they get locked out), and verified his account like a normal person, and have been off the phone in under 5 minutes.

I unlocked his account, and he got in quickly, within 30 seconds of my unlocking it. Then he wanted the name of the president or CEO or something so he could send "his invoice" to. He was complaining that he had had to wait on hold for over 30 minutes to get someone to unlock his account. I really wish I could've told him that that wait time was entirely his doing, as was the fact that he locked himself out in the first place, but I didn't.

I don't have any information on how to reach the president or CEO, nor will the systems we have allow me to locate that information. When told this, the customer blew his top, and wouldn't let me finish any sentences, starting cursing at me and trying to be a bully. Finally, I just resorted to repeating "I have fixed your online issue. Is there anything else on your online account that I can help you with", and he continued using foul language and tried his best to upset/insult me until he just hung up.

I notated that account.

[otakuneko]

"You had to wait that long? That's strange, our hold times in the small biz department are around 1-2 minutes. What number did you call?" *said with complete utter innocence, of course*

[Slave to the Phone]

You only had to wait 30 minutes? That's great! (What I say to people complaining about the wait in our lobby.)

[Aria]

God, I always hated customer's who demanded to be compensated for their time. Mr. "I'm a big shot lawyer and I make 200 dollars an hour!" My thought was always, well why didn't you get your secretary to spend the time on hold then hand the phone to you when she got through, if you're such a big shot? And no, we're not compensating you for our hold times. Ever.

And then the residential customers who tell us they're day traders and losing SO MUCH BUSINESS with the internet being out three days. Tough crap dude, you're not a business so you're in the same queue as that guy who just wants to play WoW. Suck it up.

[IT Grunt]

Dealt with stuff in a similar vein when I worked IT for a bank. Fresh out of college and had only been there a week when I get a call for a branch office across the state. Normal enough at the start, at least the user was friendly and understanding about PC problems. Unfortunately a "big cheese" of that branch was in there while I helped the user. The problem was odd and took a while to fix as we did not have any remote control software. Therefore I had to rely on the user to describe everything.

While we are doing this, and because it did not take the 4 seconds to fix as he expected, I get periodic yells of "You realize we're losing money each minute this is down right? You realize that right??" Nooooo really?? Glad you're here to point these things out!

Seriously, like you're losing thousands because one machine is down. I really hated that attitude.

[eltf177]

Please tell us this moron has zero chance of getting any sort of adjustment for their own stupidity...

[protege]

And then the residential customers who tell us they're day traders and losing SO MUCH BUSINESS with the internet being out three days. Tough crap dude, you're not a business so you're in the same queue as that guy who just wants to play WoW. Suck it up.

Try having to *work* with pricks like that. I work for a brokerage, and constantly had to deal with traders screaming about all the money they were losing. My boss wasn't so bad because, well, stuff happens. Coworker J on the other hand...soon found himself on my shit list.

J would come downstairs into the server room to pester me about how the internet wasn't working or why the server was down. Every 5 minutes, I'd have to stop what I was doing, explain to the asshole what I was doing, and then receive vague threats or comments about what I could go do with myself. Seriously? You're going to come down here, and bust the balls of the guy who is trying to fix the equipment? You do realize that I could easily make this test and its related repair(s) take all day, right?

Whenever I hear the "I'm losing so much money" speech, I tend not to give a crap. Really, I don't care. My job is to fix the equipment, not guarantee your trading results. Unless you're going to throw me a few bones for fixing this crap quickly, fuck off.

[earl colby pottinger]

Losing money

When someone starts to claim they are losing money, I stop doing the work and start with the math lessons!

I had one customer who was really losing $400 an hour because he had over twenty people to enter data, but only one printer for output. Basically while the printer was being repaired he was paying all those girls to sit around as I tried to get the unit fixed.

Finally after about two hours when I determined I needed parts I would not get until tomorrow morning I pointed out instead of ranting and raving he could go to Staples and get a low end printer for $400 that would handle the printing for the short term. And better yet after I get the high speed printer fixed he would never be in such a tight spot if any more repairs were needed.

This customer did rush out and get a cheap Panasonic Laser printer, but a number of other people have claimed to be losing thousands of dollars per hour yet find buying a $400-$999 laser printer to be too expensive a cost to get their business running. That tells me a lot about how much money their business really makes.

[Gizmo]

When someone starts to claim they are losing money, I stop doing the work and start with the math lessons!

I have made myself not popular with an egotistical salesman due to doing this.

"But you can't stop us sending that order because they owe us money.... we need that order to make money!"

*I flip to the spreadsheet and show the profit percentage is very low per part and remark about how by the time they fail to pay the correct price for X, Y and linger over Z that that order barely breaks even....*

Salesman wandered off still claiming how his customer is the best and we'd be sunk without them etc.

[CKoch]

Today I had to look into a customer who dissed us on our Facebook page for some credit action we were taking on his account. Apparently he thinks it is okay to take our services without paying for them. Anywho, his account was flagged because he demands that we call him "Mr. (last name)" instead of by his first name, because calling someone you don't know by their first name is not showing respect.

Okay, I'd grant him that, EXCEPT the logs on all of his accounts have a very common theme: he uses abusive language and makes degrading remarks to nearly every CSR and manager he has dealt with.

He also resents our efforts to verify that he is the account holder when he calls.

Well gee, Mr. ________. Please accept my apologies that we actually wish to verify who you are so that some stranger doesn't get access to your account. But if you demand respect from us, you might offer a token bit of the same TO us.

Oh, and consider paying your bills, a$$hole. Oops!

[EricKei]

Earl -- So this guy had his workers sitting around, twiddling their thumbs, and *not entering data* just because they couldn't do the printouts right away?!? Sounds to me like he was the only real cause of any money he might have been losing, there >_>

[greek_jester]

Earl -- So this guy had his workers sitting around, twiddling their thumbs, and *not entering data* just because they couldn't do the printouts right away?!? Sounds to me like he was the only real cause of any money he might have been losing, there >_>

Depends on the job; there are some jobs that you can do on-screen without worrying about printing out until later, but there are some jobs that you absolutely need printouts (mailshots, cheques, ticking back to ensure that everything is posted, anything that needs an authorising signature, etc.)