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The Toilet Crusade (Long)

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  • The Toilet Crusade (Long)

    Hurray! My first tale of SC-ness, though there isn't as much Suck as there is Sneaky or Stupid.

    No serious SC stories come to mind yet, so I figured I'd share this.
    Hopefully in the future I'll have some better stories.


    Where I work, the staff is cycled through 3 neighbouring shops. All of the shops are small, selling women's clothing in all but 1 shop (which is 50/50 men/women's clothing and 50/50 clothing/jewellery). This one shop also has a front-row view of the neighbouring Cafes' customer's toilet from the seat at the counter. Let's call this one B-Co.
    ...._

    *]| |. . . . . . <- *Doorway to stairs
    ...| |=[. . . . .-> Employee's toilets
    ...| |[. . . . . .-> Cafe's toilet
    ------. . . . . .] [ - Doors
    . . . . . . . . . .<- Walkway
    ------
    [B-Co]

    Here's a rough map. There is a walkway between B-Co's entrance and the little corridor which the toilets sit in. In that corridor is a side corridor which leads to the employee's toilets, and just past the side corridor is a door to the stairway that leads to the car-park.

    The employee's have 2 toilets, the cafes have 1. Both are locked.
    The cafes' toilet has two signs - one stating that it's for restaurant customers, and one below with directions to the nearest public toilets. Note that all of the public toilets are within a 5 minute walking radius, 2 if you really have to go.

    Onto the SCs...


    Type 1 - 'I'll try my luck.'

    This type reads the signs, then tries anyways.

    The variant of this type is more common.
    Performing an Emu-like maneuver, they will crane their necks into every nook and cranny of the corridor, seemingly seeking another signed door.


    Type 2 - 'Since she's looking...'

    (This usually happens if I don't look away quick enough.)

    A more daring version of Type 1. Most of this type will read all of the signs - all will try to open every single door in the corridor.
    When their attempt fails, they will seek the advice of the non-restaurant shop across the walkway.
    After having the toilet's sign vocally repeated to them, they will obey and seek out one of the cafes for the key.

    This type is prone to becoming a 'Victim'.


    Type 3 - The Double-Taker/Ninja.

    This type often begins with a U-turn. They will then proceed to read the sign, and leave without a word.
    The Ninja variant will do this in a 'smooth operator' style, unlike its 'clucky chicken' or 'deer-in-headlights' originals.


    Sometime the door can be sucky too...


    Victim Type 1 - Backbone Wanted.

    These VTs fall victim to the door's 'push' mechanism.
    Most are little old ladies or people mistakenly using the key 'old fashionedly'.

    (The door needs to be unlocked while turning the handle. Most seem to get it.)


    Victim Type 2 - Which Door Is Which?

    This VT always involves a Shop Assistant - myself mostly.

    The VT cannot open the door (Not in the way as a VT1 as they push against the door.) and seek the SA's help. Door does not yield, so the SA tries the employee's door.
    After becoming unsuccessful yet again, the SA will send the VT to ask the key-giver which door is the correct door.

    SA will return to their shop to watch the VT return and open the correct door on the first try.


    Victim Type 3 - Peek-A-Boo.

    This is the rarest of all the Types. Each cafe has a set of keys. The toilet has no 'engaged' sign. If one is given out at the same time as the other...
    You get the picture.

    Always results in an embarrassed 'sorry!'

    Slightly more common is the 'Ambush'. A T1 is at the door when the VT3 has finished.


    The funny thing? In the time that took some of those SCs to solve the 'locked toilet mystery', they could have walked to the public bathroom across the road and back. Sure, the public toilet may be darker, but at least it's less likely to stink with its open door...


    All the more amusement for me, I guess.
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