"I'm gonna sue YOU!"

[Xieg]

Yes, sue me. Specifically me. Not the company, me. It was hard not to laugh.

Little back story. Lady called, had recieved item as a gift. It is a pet cot, and it has a damaged corner piece. The frame has a lifetime warranty. We replace the piece and or the frame, and we all go on happy to the end of our days, or the next phone call. Whichever comes first.

Yeah, not on our watch apparently. The following happens due to relativley stupid corporate policy. It makes sense in some respect, but is still a pain in my ass. To cash in on your warranty, you need to have the original order information. Meaning you either go through the people you bought the cot from, or get the info from the person who gifted it to you. Irksome step, I know, but without that info our hands are tied. Apparently it was asking to much of this lady, as she escalated from one of my reps today over this very issue.

Me - Head cheese.
SC - Ms. "I'm gonna sue you"

Me: Alright, SC. I just got off with my warehouse. They cannot send out a replacement part without the original order information, as they will get in trouble with corporate. As senseless as this sounds, you do need to contact your sister for the order info.
SC: But that doesn't make sense at all. She bought it from ya'll. It has your label on it and everything *reads manufacturer info*
Me: Yes that is indeed out label. But our hands are tied by corporate, you need to get that info from your sister, and have either her call us or you call us back with that.
SC: (Story change. Watch carefully folks) Well she probably got that from one of her customers as a gift. How will she get that info then.
Me: There is nothing we can do without that info. It is the only thing I can offer you at this point.
SC: I'll buy a part then.
Me: I would love to sell you one. But we can't. Corporate policy has my hands tied, my warehouses hands tied, and just about all of our hands are tied here. None of us can do anything for you.
SC: Well if my 20 pound dog gets on this thing and it breaks, she will hurt herself (Note here, this is roughly 3-4 inches off the ground. Unlikely the dog would get hurt) Can I sue you then? Can I sue you Xieg?
Me : *Tired of this bull* There is nothing I can do miss. While it is annoying, it is simple. If you can't cooperate with us, then there is nothing we can do for you.
SC: I'm gonna sue you Xieg! I'm gonna sue you personally.
Me: You can try.
SC: What?
Me: You'll probably get laughed at by any lawyer, but you can try. We are extending an offer to you, that is reasonably simple, and you are not cooperating. A frivolous lawsuit like this might be a fun diversion for a short while. Ofcourse, if that is a legitamate threat, I will need to terminate this call and you will have to have your lawyer contact mine.
SC: ... I want your supervisor, I'm sure you have one.

Now, at this point, when a customer asks for a super's super, policy is to shunt her off to the next available super. Our actual bosses aren't really trained to take care of this kind of thing apparently. So I transfer her over to a supervisor I know does not take crap like this from customers who won't cooperate. She was told unless she was willing to cooperate, she was S.O.L.

What started as stupid corporate policy ended in sucky customer.

[Cyphr]

sounds perfectly logical to me probaly to keep people from claiming warranty and building like 80 free beds out of replacement parts...

[theredbaron47]

I was going to say, that policy sounds very logical. Why would they send you any replacement parts or do anything for you without verifying that yes, you did indeed place an order with them, for the item in question?

Anyway:

Me: You'll probably get laughed at by any lawyer, but you can try. We are extending an offer to you, that is reasonably simple, and you are not cooperating. A frivolous lawsuit like this might be a fun diversion for a short while. Ofcourse, if that is a legitamate threat, I will need to terminate this call and you will have to have your lawyer contact mine.
SC: ... I want your supervisor, I'm sure you have one.

. . . that was just beautiful.

[LifeCarnie]

Once you mention any legal threats to me the call is over, you can talk to our corporate legal department though.

I've had customers almost swallow their tongue in an attempt to recant threats of lawyers and lawsuits.

Sorry, game over, talk to our legal department.

sounds perfectly logical to me probaly to keep people from claiming warranty and building like 80 free beds out of replacement parts...

Me too. It's impossible for your company to protect themselves from frivoluous claims without the information they need for verification.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Yeah, not on our watch apparently. The following happens due to relativley stupid corporate policy. It makes sense in some respect, but is still a pain in my ass. To cash in on your warranty, you need to have the original order information. Meaning you either go through the people you bought the cot from, or get the info from the person who gifted it to you. Irksome step, I know, but without that info our hands are tied. Apparently it was asking to much of this lady, as she escalated from one of my reps today over this very issue.

And the stupid part of that is......?

If you're going to make a warranty claim on an item you bought, I don't see how it's unreasonable for the manufacturer to verify you actually bought the item or somebody bought it for you. These manufacturers are not in the business of giving away parts for free to somebody who didn't even do business with them.

Me: You'll probably get laughed at by any lawyer, but you can try. We are extending an offer to you, that is reasonably simple, and you are not cooperating. A frivolous lawsuit like this might be a fun diversion for a short while. Ofcourse, if that is a legitamate threat, I will need to terminate this call and you will have to have your lawyer contact mine.
SC: ... I want your supervisor, I'm sure you have one.

*golf clap

Well played.

[allniter]

I've done that before, at the same time laughing into the phone at their own foolishness.

Some of them swore at me. Those who did and then also threatened to sue me, I told them the call had been recorded and I was going to be suing them.

They argued I was an employee and had to take the abuse. I told them, I was a citizen of the country and any citizen can sue another no matter how much they disagree. "Get ready to pay your lawyer overtime cause I got you on tape."

That shut them up fast

[Xieg]

Well apparently I was wrong about the policy. Looks as thought many do not think it is stupid, so I don't feel any remorse as to slapping this lady down.

And as far as terminating the call at the first threat of lawyers, I had a good feeling she did not have the cajones to go through with it. I wasn't going to let her run without having my fair say in the matter.

[Alpha Strike]

....
SC: I'll buy a part then.
Me: I would love to sell you one. But we can't. Corporate policy has my hands tied, my warehouses hands tied, and just about all of our hands are tied here. None of us can do anything for you.
....

THAT is the stupid part of your company's policy. I have no problem with making folks show that they are covered by the warranty - makes sense.

But why the heck can't you allow a paying customer to buy an item?

[Xieg]

While stupid I can atleast explain that. We don't have them for sale. We don't even officially carry replacement parts. The only reason we have any is because the customers send us back damaged product, we toss the damaged parts, and stuff the good parts in a pile in the warehouse. Since we have no product number for individual parts, and really no guarantee we have or ever will have the one part they want, we can't setup an order for them. And she can't send back her damaged one for a new one without the order info, which she was unwilling to go find. And while I can think of a few ways they could make it work, the policy says no.

[bainsidhe]

As a customer, I would also find the warranty annoying, especially since I have a tendencey to lose important order information. Still, it seems reasonable. At my company, customers gripe and moan that we won't send out automatic replacements at our cost because an item is "under warranty". Yet we get something back that has been misused, some have had the total snot beaten out of them. Yet the customer "doesn't know why it isn't working". We have an 8 year warranty on most of our items. So why lie and tell us it's abour a year old when we get the product back and it dates from the 1960's. (yeah, that really happened a week ago)

[theredbaron47]

So why lie and tell us it's abour a year old when we get the product back and it dates from the 1960's. (yeah, that really happened a week ago)

*snort*

There is no reason to feel badly for your corporate's policy. And now that I understand why paying customers can't purchase parts from you, that is also no reason to feel badly for the customers either.

Again, bravo for handling that lady the way you did.

And again, a lesson for the SC's out there: NO means NO!

[lordlundar]

But why the heck can't you allow a paying customer to buy an item?

In addition to what was said, it's also a liability problem. To use this issue as an example, she gets the part, replaces the part haphazardly herself, then her pet gets injured. Guess where the lawsuit will be pointing.