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  • One-word responses. (a quickie with language)

    I HATE when people come up to me and just say one word as response to "Can I help you?" I work at a membership desk, and this happens everyday, it's become a huge pet peeve.

    The one I get most often:

    Me- "How may I help you?"
    Cust- "Membership."

    Well, no shit.
    "I, too, am saddened by the lack of hookers in this thread." -LingualMonkey

  • #2
    You probably get those one-word answers because of loverly automated systems; the kind where you say your responses instead of pressing a button.

    I did that one time when I was calling my cell phone company. I was saying "representative" over and over again, trying to get to a human. Well, I got one, but didn't know it. (Actually, wasn't paying close attention).

    Me: Representative
    CSR: Thank you for calling [cellular company], my name is [name]. How can I help?
    Me: Representative
    CSR: Sir, this is [name]. How can I help you?
    Me: What? Huh? OH!! Sorry, uhh.. I thought I was still battling wits with that automated computer. Sorry.. I need help with ....

    and there you are.

    Or your customers went through the American public school system and don't how how to perform a complete sentence. So the one-word will have to do.
    Age and wisdom don't necessarily go together. Some people just become stupid with more authority.

    "Who put the goat in there? The yellow goat I ate."

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    • #3
      While I'd prefer customers give a multi-word description of their problem, I'd much rather hear "offline" or "slow" than have our customers try and describe their problem in detail. Short answers allow you to ask questions and guide the conversation; long answers usually involve irrelevant details and horrible explanations. I'd much rather pull up an account and read the notes than listen to the customer tell me how the last tech took them somewhere where they got some numbers and then they went to that other place and got some other numbers and then the tech did something and then there were more numbers, or listen to the customer tell me about every single financial problem they've had for the last three months when all I need to do is press "Resume Service."

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      • #4
        Or when you haven't even said anything to them yet and they just waltz up to you and shout "Bathroom."

        I got that all the time at the mall kiosk, and sometimes it was questions that weren't even about our store. "Bathoom." "Bath and Body Works." "Video Games."

        One time: "Closing."

        "Uh....no, we're not closing."

        "NO! When does the mall close!" Looking at ME like I'M the retarded one.
        "What size can I get you, ma'am?"
        "Red."
        "Okay...I'll check the red for you, but what size do you need?"
        "RED!"
        "..."

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        • #5
          Yes, IHateStupidCustomers, don't remind me about mall kiosks.

          Why do people have so much trouble understanding that a kiosk is not an information counter - that's why they have that lovely place in just about every mall called "Customer Service" or "Concierge"!

          I once had someone ask me for directions to a store, and I wasn't sure where it was, but I thought I had seen it upstairs. So I said to her, "I think it might be up those escalators there".

          She replied, "Yes, it might be". You had to be there, I guess, but the way she said it made perfectly clear that she was blaming me for not knowing how to give directions when it was not my job!

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Knightmare View Post
            You probably get those one-word answers because of loverly automated systems; the kind where you say your responses instead of pressing a button....

            Or your customers went through the American public school system and don't how how to perform a complete sentence. So the one-word will have to do.
            The latter, because they do it to my face. Hurrah for my job description: Membership and Customer Service, including Refunds and Marketing. I don't take many company calls, and the ones I do usually start with, "I've been a member for so-and-so years...", usually ending with them screaming at me for something I had nothing to do with.

            But that's a whole other thread.

            But usually when they just say the one word, like "Membership", I start saying, "You want to sign up? You want to cancel? There is a problem with your account?"

            At this point, most get it, but the really bright ones reply to that question with "Yes."

            "I, too, am saddened by the lack of hookers in this thread." -LingualMonkey

            Comment


            • #7
              There's always my favorite

              "Hello, random hotel, how may I help you?"
              "Reservation"


              I fight the urge to respond "Yes I have reservations about taking your call." Is is so difficult to say "Hi, I'd like to make a reservation?"
              Last edited by TruthHurts; 01-02-2008, 10:45 PM.
              My Horror Blog

              Cinemania

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth TruthHurts View Post
                There's always my favorite

                "Hello, random hotel, how may I help you?"
                "Reservation"


                I fight the urge to respond "Yes I have reservations about taking your call." Is is so difficult to say "Hi, I'd like to make a reservation."
                "Reservation"
                "Indian!"
                "What?"
                "Where!"
                "What are you talking about? I want to make a reservation!"
                "I'm sorry, I thought we were playing word association."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hey, at least one word is better than no word. My customers tend to walk up to the register and hand me a bag filled with stuff. I mean... do you want a box for this stuff? I can help. Do you want to return them? I can't do that, Dave. Do you want to return catalog item? I can do that. Do you want me to hold these for you? No can do, Dave.

                  But I'm getting away from the point. Yeah... one word answers do suck XD

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                  • #10
                    My old favorites from the gas station were:

                    "COFFEE!"

                    "Marboreds!"

                    "Newspaper!"

                    "Powaball!"
                    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I don't understand how people can think this is an acceptable way of communicating. Even the farcical cave man would grunt a verb or something to make his primitive needs clear.

                      I once had a woman attempt to ask me a question by saying, "Pick five!" After asking her to elaborate several times, she added "Pick five for twenty!" It turns out that she was trying to find out what a pizza would cost if if were five for $20. This I had to piece together on my own, and I had to explain the math, too, because she wouldn't take my word for it (or the register's account) that it was $4.

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                      • #12
                        My most frequent one-word customers were the ones who would come up to the register to pick up a book on hold, and just say the last name.

                        "Smith."

                        Yeah, cuz there's probably only one smith...

                        Or, "Kauffman."

                        So I look under K, because that's how I usually see that name spelled. No, of course it starts with a C.

                        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                        • #13
                          It drives me crazy with anger when customers do this to me.

                          I actually had this happen to me this morning, second customer of the day.

                          I'm opening up boxes of merchandise, unloading them onto a shelf and pricing them with a gun. My attention is pretty focused on my work. Suddenly I hear an old lady's voice behind me, saying something, but I can't tell what it is, only that she's apparently saying it to my back.

                          So, I turn around to face her, and say, "Good morning, how are you today?"

                          She gets this impatient and annoyed look on her face and says (apparently repeating herself, but how would I know, since she was TALKING TO THE BACK OF ME), "Electric knives, where are they?" And she pronounced the "are" in that question in this tone of almost comical exasperation, as though I was the one who was trying her patience by not being able to hear what she was saying to THE BACK OF ME.

                          I would almost expect this complete lack of manners from someone my age, or, more certainly, someone younger than me. But that kind of lack of courtesy from someone my grandmother's age?

                          What in the hell has happened to people?
                          Herewith, a nugget of wisdom from the very wise Mike Brady: "Alone, we can only move buckets. But if we work together, we can drain rivers."

                          --
                          mannabozo.wordpress.com

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                          • #14
                            Quoth matty View Post
                            Yes, IHateStupidCustomers, don't remind me about mall kiosks.

                            Why do people have so much trouble understanding that a kiosk is not an information counter - that's why they have that lovely place in just about every mall called "Customer Service" or "Concierge"!

                            I once had someone ask me for directions to a store, and I wasn't sure where it was, but I thought I had seen it upstairs. So I said to her, "I think it might be up those escalators there".

                            She replied, "Yes, it might be". You had to be there, I guess, but the way she said it made perfectly clear that she was blaming me for not knowing how to give directions when it was not my job!
                            I know EXACTLY what you mean. I had this conversation with a woman a few weeks ago (and be mindful, I am a non-confrontational wussy, lol):

                            SW: "JB Robinson Jewelers?" (notice the one word question, hehe)
                            Me: "Excuse me?"
                            SW: "Where is JB Robinsons?" (Getting all huffy)
                            Me: "Well, last I saw it, it was down near Elder Beerman's. I haven't been down that way in years, so I don't know if they moved it, or if it's still there; sorry."
                            SW: "Well, I was just down there, and it's not there!!"
                            Me: "I'm sorry ma'am. Maybe they moved it."
                            SW: "WHERE IS IT!"
                            Me: "There's a directory by the escalators <over there> or guest services is down by JC Penney."
                            SW: "I looked on the directory! It's not there! Isn't there anyone you can call?"
                            Me: "Not really...."
                            SW: "Call guest services!!"
                            Me: *searched for the number for awhile, called them reluctantly* "Ma'am, they say that JB Robinson's is no longer in the mall."
                            SW: "WHAT! This is ridiculous. Do you have a phone book? Look up their address!"
                            Me: "Ma'am, I don't have a phone book."
                            SW: "Yes you do! Look it up."
                            Me: "Ma'am, I DO NOT have a phone book. Unless you'd like to purchase a glass figurine there is NOTHING else I can do for you."

                            She FINALLY left. I swear, some people....
                            "What size can I get you, ma'am?"
                            "Red."
                            "Okay...I'll check the red for you, but what size do you need?"
                            "RED!"
                            "..."

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