Tweet
Back in my coffee slinging days I used to work the opening shift. The ASM and I would arrive around 4:00-4:15 to open at 5. Everyday there was this dude who would either arrive the moment we opened the doors, or sometimes would wait outside until we did. To be honest he wasn't sucky per se, just a real creep show. He had this real high pitched voice, eyes that were always open REALLY wide, and always smelled like booze. ASM and I didn't mind him so much, but everyday for months his demeanor just got crazier.
Here are some examples, they started out as just weird statements, and got worse over time.
CrazyDude: You boys know how many hookers I've had? (. . . Should we?) Me neither!
CD: Yeah I had to drown my dog last night, he was real sick (WTF??? We werent sure he ever HAD a dog, at least I really hope he didnt because he said that a few times over the months)
CD: You boys like, boyfriends or something? (nope, two straight boys here, don't know where he got that idea)
CD: You boys ever wonder what yellow sounds like? (Wow, that's deep. . . still weird)
So everyday he would impart some statement or question until one day, he came running up to the door, and starting pounding on the glass. We thought maybe he was in a hurry today so we let him in.
He usually got a triple shot latte. That day he wanted two large cups (20 oz) of pure espresso.
. . . .
. . . .
Yup, he wanted 40 oz of espresso. I didn't know what to say, I mean, yeah it can be done but SHOULD IT? Nothing good can come from that much espresso. I looked at ASM and he said to sell it to him. I told CD it would be really expensive, if i remember right it was almost $200 since we had no way to ring it up except each one individually, CD just said hurry up! So it takes awhile and when I am done, he pays in cash (he had a wad!
) then CHUGGED BOTH CUPS!!!!
I was at a loss for words, that's 40 fucking oz of espresso and it was HOT, he had to have burned his throat or something. Maybe he did, because he tried to talk and some kind of croak/moan came out. Then he peeled a 100 from his wad, threw it in the tip jar, saluted us (yes, saluted us) then ran from the store.
We never saw him again.
Here are some examples, they started out as just weird statements, and got worse over time.
CrazyDude: You boys know how many hookers I've had? (. . . Should we?) Me neither!
CD: Yeah I had to drown my dog last night, he was real sick (WTF??? We werent sure he ever HAD a dog, at least I really hope he didnt because he said that a few times over the months)
CD: You boys like, boyfriends or something? (nope, two straight boys here, don't know where he got that idea)
CD: You boys ever wonder what yellow sounds like? (Wow, that's deep. . . still weird)
So everyday he would impart some statement or question until one day, he came running up to the door, and starting pounding on the glass. We thought maybe he was in a hurry today so we let him in.
He usually got a triple shot latte. That day he wanted two large cups (20 oz) of pure espresso.
. . . .
. . . .
Yup, he wanted 40 oz of espresso. I didn't know what to say, I mean, yeah it can be done but SHOULD IT? Nothing good can come from that much espresso. I looked at ASM and he said to sell it to him. I told CD it would be really expensive, if i remember right it was almost $200 since we had no way to ring it up except each one individually, CD just said hurry up! So it takes awhile and when I am done, he pays in cash (he had a wad!
) then CHUGGED BOTH CUPS!!!! I was at a loss for words, that's 40 fucking oz of espresso and it was HOT, he had to have burned his throat or something. Maybe he did, because he tried to talk and some kind of croak/moan came out. Then he peeled a 100 from his wad, threw it in the tip jar, saluted us (yes, saluted us) then ran from the store.
We never saw him again.
I shouldn't laugh but that was funny.
Comment