The Pot and the Kettle

[Zoe Hates You]

Something important to know about me is that I had a baby a year ago and gained 80 pounds during the pregnancy. I've begun working out and counting calories so I've lost some weight within recent months. It's been really hard, though, since before baby arrived I was a professional bellydancer, and while I'm personally impressed with a lot of goddess-sized dancers the sad reality is that if you are at a Moroccan restaurant and there is a fat bellydancer, it will be a big joke to all the customers. So being overweight has really hurt me in a lot of ways, including ending my dance career.

Anyway, it's closing time at the library and there are always a few people -- my grandpa would have called them "lollygaggers"-- who are checking out at the last minute. We close the doors when only one group is left. I stand up from behind the desk and one of these customers exclaims, "Oh! How's the baby?" It takes me a second to figure out whether I've actually met her somewhere with my daughter or whether she's just being stupid and thinks I'm pregnant. (My delivery was a C-section and there was muscle damage, and women in my family just happen to carry extra weight there, so this isn't the first time it's happened.)

I really, really want to cheerfully say, "Oh, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" But I cannot. I have to restrain myself because this woman is VERY overweight, far more than I am. She is using one of those walkers that also has a seat on it and it looks like it's being devoured by rolls and flab. So instead of being snarky and insensitive I just give the vague and polite "Oh-actually-I-just-had-the-baby" spiel.

"Oh, really?" Replied the lady. "Cause you're still bloated."

"Um... Thanks, I'll work on that... I guess..."

If a fat person calls another person fat, doesn't that, like, break the flux capacitor and create a time-dilating singularity or something?

[Draco]

...I would have been snarky. Yes, male, but I'm a smartass anyway. "How about you? When are you due?"

[Kristev]

A heavy person should know better. We have to stick together, not help the thinness police tear us apart.

[PepperElf]

I've known some like that - they ignore their own bodies and attack others for being overweight... sometimes people who are less out of shape than they are.


Right off the top of my head I can think of two men who were like that. One was a former coworker M who admitted he always wore a coat to cover his belly. The other was a ship... can't call him a shipmate he was just a guy on my ship, he made rude oinking noises at me and called me names... while he himself was overweight and greasy.

in fact with the latter I'm sure it suck in his craw a bit too... one of the guys suggested that fuckface would be nicer to me if I (gave him a blow job). I'm sure I had a look on my face. Nice slap to the ego there... that I was overweight and was disgusted at the thought of doing that with him.

[blas]

It's about as confusing as being told, by someone who never leaves their bedroom playing video games other than to work and use the bathroom........that my exercise routine (biking, treadmill, weights, etc at least 4 days a week) is too "slow". Yeah, this Olympian couch potato was telling me that the rate I go on the cardio machines is "slow", boasted that he can walk a mile in 7 minutes (You CANNOT WALK a mile in 7 minutes!!) and that he can pedal a mile on an exercise bike in 1 minute.

I look at the fact he never leaves the house, much less puts down the video game controller, and roll my eyes at him.

[manybellsdown]

It's about as confusing as being told, by someone who never leaves their bedroom playing video games other than to work and use the bathroom........that my exercise routine (biking, treadmill, weights, etc at least 4 days a week) is too "slow". Yeah, this Olympian couch potato was telling me that the rate I go on the cardio machines is "slow", boasted that he can walk a mile in 7 minutes (You CANNOT WALK a mile in 7 minutes!!) and that he can pedal a mile on an exercise bike in 1 minute.

I look at the fact he never leaves the house, much less puts down the video game controller, and roll my eyes at him.

He just works out so fast that you miss it when you blink!

[Mr Hero]

my grandpa would have called them "lollygaggers"

No lollygagging

[XCashier]

The other was a ship... can't call him a shipmate he was just a guy on my ship, he made rude oinking noises at me and called me names... while he himself was overweight and greasy.

in fact with the latter I'm sure it suck in his craw a bit too... one of the guys suggested that fuckface would be nicer to me if I (gave him a blow job).

"Oh, right, because I totally want to do it with a bully. Tell you what, buddy, if you're so concerned about his happiness, why don't you give him that blow job!"

[Merriweather]

I've known some like that - they ignore their own bodies and attack others for being overweight... sometimes people who are less out of shape than they are.


Right off the top of my head I can think of two men who were like that. One was a former coworker M who admitted he always wore a coat to cover his belly. The other was a ship... can't call him a shipmate he was just a guy on my ship, he made rude oinking noises at me and called me names... while he himself was overweight and greasy.

in fact with the latter I'm sure it suck in his craw a bit too... one of the guys suggested that fuckface would be nicer to me if I (gave him a blow job). I'm sure I had a look on my face. Nice slap to the ego there... that I was overweight and was disgusted at the thought of doing that with him.

PepperElf, are you male or female? If male, the guy's just a jerk. If you're female, well, that explains it then - didn't you know that it's perfectly ok for men to carry those extra pounds, but women should always be slim? Therefore, they have every right to comment no matter how large they are. At least a large portion of the male population I've encountered seem to feel that way (apologies to the decent males out there).

[EricKei]

I have experienced this, as well -- including from a relative who I don't speak to very much. She is of the older generation (read: always right, and responding to her in kind is somehow an insult to the family honor!)...She's pear-shaped like I am, has been since I've known her, and has her own vices on the side. The few times I was able to consistently work out (pre-back injury a couple of years ago), I would sometimes be happy about losing a few pounds and make the mistake of mentioning it to her (or just on FB or wherever). Her reaction was invariably disbelief (yes, as in calling me a liar), and to then immediately go into a spiel about how I should take better care of my own body, try to lose some weight...In response to a post where I was talking about how much good going to the gym had done me. Yeesh.

Whether it's weight, or bad personality, or just bad habits, I have often found that those who possess traits that are seen as negative often go out of their way to "find" and focus upon such traits in others. I can only assume that they do it in order to feel better about their own issues.

*slaps on the headphones and queues up Shinedown's "Bully"*

[BlaqueKatt]

and that he can pedal a mile on an exercise bike in 1 minute.

Better get him on a cycling team, Lance Armstrong can only ride at a paltry 35 MPH when "attacking", someone that can ride 60MPH would win everything! *snerk*

[rose_metal_nz]

Gah. Nothing riles me up more than hypocrisy

[Spork4pedro]

(You CANNOT WALK a mile in 7 minutes!!)

I know, a bit OT but professional speedwalkers frequently walk that fast. I know that wasn't your point but I'm a track nerd a couldn't help myself Dude sounds like a jackass anyway.

Back to the OP. I've never understood why people do this. Like Erickei, I have a older generation err..friend of the family? She's my grandmother's friend (I think still?) and she always has to point out something negative about each of us. Everytime we go to a family gathering and she's there she makes some comment about how fat the BF or I have gotten. the worst one was when she did it when I was 8 months pregnant and "forgot" I was. that combined with her lectures about us not being married made us stop coming around unless she wasn't there.

[Teefies2]

My mother is like this.

It doesn't matter what you have achieved in your lifetime, (I swear you could find the cure for cancer!), there is always something wrong with you -- meaning me. Never mind that I have basically supported myself and my family for over 30 years, never mind that I gave her the only granddaughter (both my brother and sister had only boys). Never mind that I'm doing what I want as far as a job. It's never good enough!

To be fair, she has only been like this since my father died. Yes I understand that you're bitter about that. Yes I understand that he died because of his life choices. But dangnabit! He died 21 YEARS ago. Get over it already and make yourself a new life!

Sorry to threadjack

[Merriweather]

My mother is like this.

It doesn't matter what you have achieved in your lifetime, (I swear you could find the cure for cancer!), there is always something wrong with you -- meaning me. Never mind that I have basically supported myself and my family for over 30 years, never mind that I gave her the only granddaughter (both my brother and sister had only boys). Never mind that I'm doing what I want as far as a job. It's never good enough!

To be fair, she has only been like this since my father died. Yes I understand that you're bitter about that. Yes I understand that he died because of his life choices. But dangnabit! He died 21 YEARS ago. Get over it already and make yourself a new life!

Sorry to threadjack

Sounds a bit like my Mom, only her signature saying, no matter what I accomplished (straight A's in school, losing weight, whatever) was "that's fine, why can't you do that all the time?". No matter what I did, I never got praise for doing something good once, instead it was used against me as proof I could do it, and reason to chastise me for not doing it all the time.

She got better about that once I was grown (she just rarely commented at all on any accomplishments), but I also learned never to tell her my problems or torubles. Whether it was health, finances, whatever, I could barely get the words out to tell her, and instead of sympathy, I would get a long long story of how much worse she had it on that subject. If I had a headache, she had a massive migrain, etc.