Why do they do it?

[Rainman]

This topic might have come up before, but I've only been posting a few months and I haven't run across it yet in my reading of older threads.

SCs demand you treat them like royalty, talk to you like you are an idiot, leave a mess wherever they go, demand discounts they don't in any way deserve, order you to get your manager, then proceed to lie about you in such a way you wish you had just curb stomped them before they entered your store. They are the ones who push their way through your line only to fail miserably at attempting to return an empty box. SC's have no problem treating a complete stranger like a leperous evil stepmother when they call them for tech support or to disbute their clearly overdue cable balance. They will seat themselves during a 30 minute wait, order new drinks every 5 seconds, eat their entire meal and then complain how it was undercooked and to top it all off they tip you a quarter and then get mad when you dont thank them for it. The list goes on and on my friends.

Why do they do it? I mean REALLY why? Is it really so simple that they are just mean people who truly do not care about the other humans they interact with during their day? Were there really THAT many people who couldn't teach their kids on how to be a normal, functioning, adult members of society?

What do YOU think?

[Mytical]

There are a couple of thoughts on this. It could honestly be a sense of entitlement..or it could be that they have had such a bad day that they have to make others miserable. Misery loves company you know.

As for being messy..it's not their home/space..they just don't care. Somebody else will clean it up.

Plus a lot of the time they are angry, about something that happened..and taking it out on the most convenient target..even if that person does not have any authority/power whatsoever.

[Divra]

I think there's also a... let's call it an un-awareness, from the average SC. SCs don't reflect over how many people the average service industry worker deals with in a day. This leads to a certain amount of egocentrism. I'm not accusing anyone, and the Gods know I've indulged in such behaviour on occasion, I'm just saying...

The average SC thinks "It's OK if I do X, I'm just one person, and it won't kill them to do Y once". This is perfectly true, but when this rationale is used for the 37th time in four hours... wars have been fought over less.

The average SC thinks "Yeah, OK, I get that it's policy, but I have a good reason, can't they make an exception just this once?". Again, yes, we could if it was just you. But it never is. If I start making policy changes for you, everyone behind you in line will say "But you changed it for her!" and then I'll have problems.

[Merriweather]

I think there are different types of SCs.

Some are just those people full of anger all the time, the ones who get sent to anger management classes by their employers or social services, who are just mad at the world all the time, and take it out on whoever is near.

Then there are those similar to the above, only they aren't like that all the time, but have just had something recent that put them like that temporarily - those are the ones that aren't so bad most of the time, and might even apologize.

There are those who were told by their parents that they were special, and took it way, way too literally. Rules don't apply to them, they should always have special treatment, and that's just what's due to them. They may not scream & yell, they just can't grasp that they aren't getting what they want (though they may eventually turn into a toddler throwing a tantrum).

I think some are frustrated because they aren't "important", so have to boost their own ego by feeling superior to someone else. Retail workers make a good target, cause they can't talk back without losing their jobs. So they belittle & ridicule the workers & their jobs, to point out how much better they are cause they don't work retail.

Then there are those who's sense of entitlement makes them feel they should be surrounded by full time servants, waited on hand and foot (they'd have slaves if it were legal). Only problem, life hasn't been fair enough to give them the kind of money they would need for that, so they take advantage of any chance to have someone wait on them - they want personal service from every employee they encounter. In their mind each and every employee is there to see to their needs, and theirs alone.

And lastly, there are those that are just friggin' nuts

Hmm, anyone out there working retail while going to university? Maybe working on a masters? Need a good topic for a thesis? The Psychology of the SC. There would sure be plenty of subjects to observe for reasearch

[Marmalady]

Another theory is that the more that people have done for them, the less they expect to have to do for themselves. Somebody else will take care of everything for them, whether it's preparing and cooking their food, arranging their insurance, doing their homework assignments or minding their children. Personal responsibility is an alien concept to them, hence the 'rabbit in the headlights' expression when it's suggested.

[Phantasmagoria]

In some of the jobs I've worked I'vegot the feeling that putting on a uniform and being stuck in front of a till, making you pretty much identical to all your coworkers, dehumanises the employee in the eyes of some people. Add to that the fact that you have to be polite to people, and you are often provided with some sales spiel that you HAVE to say to every customer... what's the difference between you, the lowly retail worker, and a self-scan checkout machine?

I must admit being very rude to self-scan machines in the past: "please take your items! please take your items!" give me a damn minute to put my change away! I had no intention of paying for my shopping and then leaving it here! GGRRR

But it's my theory that people who are busy, and whose minds are on something else, cannot comprehend the difference between the machine and the worker when they all look the same, sound the same and can't answer back. And what do you do when the self-scan machine messes up? You say "oh for gods sakes, you stupid piece of crap!" and call someone over to fix it... therefore, following this logic, what do you do when the sales assistant/bar worker/waitress/etc doesn't do what you expected (however entitled and ridiculous that expectation might be!)? you say "oh for gods sakes, you stupid piece of crap!" and call someone (manager) over to fix their malfunctioning employee.

I think this is supported by the suprise some SCs seem to feel when they see an employee going to use the bathroom, or doing their own shopping, or - god forbid! - going HOME! ...and the shock on their faces when they're asked to leave for abusing an employee. After all, people generally only titter when you get into an argument with the self-scan and call it a "stupid cow".

[Jay 2K Winger]

Going to agree with a lot of what other people have said.

Some Sucktomers are just angry, bitter people who try to ameliorate their feelings by taking it out on someone else.

Some Sucktomers are bullies, plain and simple, and they take it out on the working man, as it were, because they see an "easy" target, i.e., one who can't/won't fight back.

Some of them might just be having a bad day, and could even apologize if called out on their bad behavior.

I'll admit, there are times I feel myself getting angry and frustrated, but I try not to blame the retail worker or similar for it, having been in their shoes. If, however, I witness sloppy or sucky behavior on the part of the worker, I tend to focus on them, but again, I don't take it out on them, because that just perpetuates the cycle. If I were to be a dick to a sucky worker, they would get angry and end up somehow taking it out on the next customer(s) in some way (perhaps by doing the bare minimum, if that, required), which only makes the customer(s) angry, who will in turn take it out on someone else, etc.

There's any number of explanations for why a Sucktomer acts like one.

[Divra]

Hmm, anyone out there working retail while going to university? Maybe working on a masters? Need a good topic for a thesis? The Psychology of the SC. There would sure be plenty of subjects to observe for reasearch

I actually used SCs as an example of negativity bias (to summarize, why people always remember negative experiences more acutely than positive ones) on an exam I wrote once. My prof gave me extra credit for it, saying it was the best example he'd ever seen.

[Flying Grype]

Some Sucktomers are bullies, plain and simple, and they take it out on the working man, as it were, because they see an "easy" target, i.e., one who can't/won't fight back.

Yep. Ever wonder what happens to bullies when they graduate kiddie school? They don't just vanish into the ether. They do tend to realize that there are usually consequences for that behaviour in the real world. But when they find a consequenceless situation -- such as a chance to pick on an employee whose manager will say 'the customer is always right' and not do anything about it -- they're right back in eighth grade.

[PepperElf]

some i think honestly are use to getting their way by being belligerent

others i think have the attitude of "you're being paid for it, so it's OK if I leave a mess cos it's your job to clean it up"

Others think your job means you're a loser so it's OK to treat you badly. Oh and if you don't like it then get another job, right?

Some only look at their own needs and wants. Things like other shoppers, agreements, or whether the employee would get fired... not their problem. Their needs come first.

And some just think you're beneath them. Not only do you need to bow and scrape at work, you'd better remember your place outside of work too.



And some are a combination of those and others...

[lvceline]

I don't know exactly why some people feel the need to be horrible, miserable human beings and treat other people like crap. I think customers feel a sense of entitlement like since they're paying for a service they have no limits and can talk to people any way they want because they're paying money to be that way.

[skeptic53]

I once dismissed a patient from care for being abusive to our staff. He would show up late, or without an appointment, demand to be seen, demand lab work or refills or antibiotics without an appointment, and was foul to the staff both in person and on the phone. After a warning he persisted and I dropped the banhammer. I asked him why he did it and he said very candidly "Because I always get what I want this way".

Many SC's are somewhere on the spectrum of being sociopaths, they know how to be charming when they need to but they truly lack the ability to care about other people.

[MoonCat]

Frankly, I think it goes back to a lousy upbringing. Without going into fratching territory, I'll just say that many, many adults are overgrown toddlers who never advanced beyond the "Terrible Twos." And since throwing a tantrum always works for them, they keep doing it.

[Tora]

I've expressed the same level of confusion over behaviour like this to my husband, because I just can't wrap my head around some of the instances that get written up on this site. The best reason he came up with was that some people are just basically incapable of being happy about anything, or because they're in a similar job but treated poorly, feel that it is their duty to make people see what that kind of job is REALLY like.

Now this also depends on whether or not said SC happens to be family. As a lot of people here can tell you, family can be the absolutely worst people to work for. I worked for one of my sisters for a while when I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. I not only could not count on my sister (who was basically my boss) to back me up for anything, because she was so desperate to get the store some recognition; my mom would proceed to berate me for my performance at work because my sister would sometimes complain about my work habits (which, admittedly, were not the best). Therefore, whenever my mom had a bug up her ass in regards to me, this got brought out as a way to demonstrate how I was going nowhere, because my family apparently has no ability to separate work from home life. TL;DR version: family can tend to disregard the point at which someone stops being a family member and starts being an employee somewhere.

But personal rant aside, there's also the people who believe they are constantly owed something, therefore proceed to act like a complete ass during customer-retailer interactions. This can get worse in the scenario like what a lot of my Southern neighbours are experiencing, where the economy is crap, making it hard to find a job and hold onto. So SCs home in on this and take it to mean they can act like the walking douches they really are without fear of recrimination (is that the right word?) because some poor wage slave needs the money, so they won't report their behaviour.

And then there's the classic scenario of a business mistaking ALL business as good business, so they try to desperately hold onto each and every customer, even the ones who are actively causing them to lose money because of their actions. So, in this case, the SC has their terrible actions re-inforced and God help you if you try to actually call them on it, because they will bring down hellfire upon you and your loved ones.

Or at least those are my ideas. :P

[Tora]

I once dismissed a patient from care for being abusive to our staff. He would show up late, or without an appointment, demand to be seen, demand lab work or refills or antibiotics without an appointment, and was foul to the staff both in person and on the phone. After a warning he persisted and I dropped the banhammer. I asked him why he did it and he said very candidly "Because I always get what I want this way".

Many SC's are somewhere on the spectrum of being sociopaths, they know how to be charming when they need to but they truly lack the ability to care about other people.

I had a theory about that once. The short version is I thought that there's something about the SC interaction that temporarily turns otherwise reasonable people into sociopaths. It's the only explanation for why thos kind of behaviour shows up again and again.