To the guy in the Mustang convertible:

[pzychobitch]

During my times at W-Mart, I used to see people buy entire dining room tables and barbecue grills, and then ask me to load it into their SMART-CAR for them. Who was SMART here to be buying these things with a vehicle like that? Not them!

Their first problem is buying the smart car. there's nothing smart about them.

[dalesys]

Another common stunt was to see how many people they could fit into a telephone booth...

The Doctor was *not* amused.

[Jay 2K Winger]

The Doctor was *not* amused.

Mostly because they mistook his police box for a PHONE BOOTH.

[protege]

Their first problem is buying the smart car. there's nothing smart about them.

Around here, those things can't handle the hills. I don't see the appeal--you can get a decent Hyundai 2-door for less cash. Bigger, more powerful...and you can actually carry more than a suitcase

But, I've always managed to get a crapload of stuff in small vehicles. First car I had, was a Toyota Tercel 2-door. When I worked at scout camp, I somehow managed to get my footlocker on the back seat, several boxes of crap in the trunk, and even more on the floor and front seat. Same car was used to move my model railroad table 50-plus miles to my grandmother's farm. With the passenger seat laid flat, I managed to cram all 3 sections (2x6-foot tables), leg assemblies, and crossbeams in the car. That car really was roomier than it looked

As if that wasn't enough, I know that a Billy bookcase (still boxed) from Ikea will fit into an '07 Corolla. Push the front seat all the way up, drop the rear seat, and in it goes! Unfortunately, the weight penalty can lead to some interesting handling characteristics on twisty roads

[bhskittykatt]

A former coworker had to move a mattress from [city 2 hours away by interstate] to here with nothing but a Subaru station wagon. They moved it at night, crawling down the interstate shoulder with their flashers on, both her and her passenger with their arms out the windows clinging on to the mattress on the roof to keep it from shifting. At speed, it's normally a 2 hour drive; it took them 5 hours with this method. (How they avoided State Patrol during that duration remains a mystery.)

[Racket_Man]

But, I've always managed to get a crapload of stuff in small vehicles. First car I had, was a Toyota Tercel 2-door. When I worked at scout camp, I somehow managed to get my footlocker on the back seat, several boxes of crap in the trunk, and even more on the floor and front seat.

Unfortunately, the weight penalty can lead to some interesting handling characteristics on twisty roads

YOu would be surprised what you can fit into a 1985 Tercel 3 door.

1 5 drawer dresser in the hatch.
1 larger than normal mini closet (4 drawers + one comparment + 1 3 foot section for hanging cloths) strapped to the roof (with a glass popup window how that did not break is beyond me)
various boxes and stuff on top of the inside dresser and in the front seat with me.

300 miles driven = gas consumption galore. all at highway speed ie. 65 mph. normally I used about 8 gallons that night I used 12 or 13 (I was literally puilling fumes when I got home).

The areodynamics were shot to hell as I was driving in a nice rain storm with moderate winds.

Not going to do that again anytime soon but I did it.

[wolfie]

A former coworker had to move a mattress from [city 2 hours away by interstate] to here with nothing but a Subaru station wagon. They moved it at night, crawling down the interstate shoulder with their flashers on, both her and her passenger with their arms out the windows clinging on to the mattress on the roof to keep it from shifting.

"Improperly secured load" is a BIG fine (can't recall if it's $5,000 or $50,000) and an out-of-service order until it's fixed. A mattress CAN be moved safely using a station wagon, all it takes is a bit of planning. I'm assuming that the car had a roof rack (pretty much standard on wagons).

First, you need something rigid under the mattress to transfer the weight to the roof rack, and keep it from drooping over the windshield. Next, you need something rigid on top to keep the airflow from flipping the nose up - even at low speed, a wind gust could have snatched the mattress off their roof. The box spring can be one of these braces, a piece of plywood or a table with its legs removed (doesn't have to be a perfect fit) can be the other.

Next, it needs to be tied down with rope. At least 2 loops, one at the front of the roof rack and one at the back, to keep it from sliding sideways or twisting. Finally (can all be done with a single piece of rope if you plan properly) it needs a "fore and aft" run to keep it from sliding off forward or backward. This starts at an anchor point at the rear of the car, goes over the top, and down to an anchor point at the front of the car. All cars have suitable anchor points - they're used to hold the car down when it's being moved on a "portable parking lot".

[Jester]

There are some cars that are rather impressive in their cargo-carrying ability. My old Dodge Shadow Turbo was great for this, as I referred to it as a "truck in disguise," and used it to haul my DJ equipment all over the state. But the Shadow was no match for my boss's Honda Civic squareback, which fit just as much equipment, just as easily, in a much smaller car.

That being said, there are probably far more stupid people out there with unreasonable expectations of what their vehicle can hold or transport than there are Cargo Tetris Masters with deceptively roomy vehicles.

Another common stunt was to see how many people they could fit into a telephone booth and still get the doors closed.

It's bigger on the inside...

Next, it needs to be tied down with rope.

Bungee cords are my FRIENDS!

[wolfie]

Bungee cords are my FRIENDS!

For purposes of primary securement (i.e. holding down the cargo, rather than keeping a tarp from flapping), bungee cords (even those marked with a working load limit) are deemed (by the DOT) to have a WLL of zero, due to the fact that they stretch. In other words, from a legal standpoint, cargo strapped down with bungee cords is no different from cargo relying on its own weight to hold it in place.

[Racket_Man]

I have carried several mattresses on top of my cars. ALL were secured by 75 feet of rope with said rope doing multipule loops on all of the edges, crisscorssed many times through the passenger compartment with loops going round and round the door posts (4-door car).

Unless I had a MAJOR break or failure said mattress was not going anywhere but its destination.

[Jester]

For purposes of primary securement (i.e. holding down the cargo, rather than keeping a tarp from flapping), bungee cords (even those marked with a working load limit) are deemed (by the DOT) to have a WLL of zero, due to the fact that they stretch. In other words, from a legal standpoint, cargo strapped down with bungee cords is no different from cargo relying on its own weight to hold it in place.

From a legal standpoint, perhaps. From a realistic standpoint, however, the way I bungee down things on my roof, they are going exactly where my torrid affair with Keira Knightley is going: nowhere.