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None Shall Pass The Gates of Pizza Castle

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  • #1

    None Shall Pass The Gates of Pizza Castle

    I got a call the other night that quickly became one of my Top Three calls of all time, right up with the 'This is not Cuba' lady.

    Me: Thanks for calling Castle Hawk, home of the finest Pizza, how are you today?

    SC: Why'd you guys turn me away?!?

    Me: Pardon?

    SC: My son called and he was waiting for me, but you guys turned me away!

    Me: We did what?

    SC: You wouldn't let me in! This big guy with dark hair wouldn't let me in!

    Me: Are you sure you're calling the right place? This is Castle Hawk-

    SC: YES I'M SURE! Do you have dark hair?!

    Me: Well, I do but-

    SC: You must have been the one who turned me away!

    Me: Sir, neither I or my coworkers turned any one away tonight-

    SC: Well some guy turned me away! My sons in there and you guys turned me away at the gate-

    Me: The gate? We don't have a gate.

    SC: Uh-

    Me: This is Pizza Castle Hawk.

    SC: I thought this was Club Hawk! Well geeze. I'm sorry, they put me on this new weed* and things are all confused and-

    Me: Well I have another call, good luck *click*

    And then I started laughing. I later told my coworker that I was off to turn people away at our gate.

    *I swear he said that. We are medical marijuana legal here, but still.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Pizza Reverend View Post
    SC: I'm sorry, they put me on this new weed* and things are all confused and-"
    If his confusion caused him to call for pizza, it had to have something to do with a serious case of what my stoner roommate from college referred to as the SERIOUS munchies.
    "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
    .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

    Comment

    • #3
      Quoth South Texan View Post
      ... the SERIOUS munchies.
      Where kitty kibble tastes good... or chicken roasted on a campfire just until it's warm through...
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth South Texan View Post
        referred to as the SERIOUS munchies.
        MIlk Bone Doggie Biscuts maybe???
        I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
        -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

        "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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        • #5
          You.

          Shall.

          Not.

          PASS!!!



          Unless you're here for the buffet. Then it's totally cool.

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is           Still A Customer."

          Comment

          • #6
            No one gets in unless they know the correct password!!
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth MoonCat View Post
              No one gets in unless they know the correct password!!
              Is it "Punch and Pie?"
              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

              Comment

              • #8
                All he had to do was ask for the gate key.
                The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth ShinyGreenApple View Post
                  All he had to do was ask for the gate key.
                  Are you the Key Master???

                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnJvsBbELvk
                  I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                  -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

                  "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                    Is it "Punch and Pie?"
                    I only came for the punch and pie.
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Racket_Man View Post
                      Are you the Key Master???
                      No, but when asking for the gate key doesn't work, just tell your giant to tear his arms off.
                      The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth ShinyGreenApple View Post
                        No, but when asking for the gate key doesn't work, just tell your giant to tear his arms off.
                        Oh, you mean this gate key...
                        PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                        There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                        Comment

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