Generate a Bogus Job Description

[MoonCat]

This is pretty funny.

http://www.vox.com/2015/3/19/8252353...ob-description

Here's mine. Think I should put it on a resume?

"MoonCat is a ninja who uses quantum mechanics to create wealth of winning in putting one foot forward"

[mathnerd]

"Mathnerd is a rock star who uses advanced statistics to create new models of leaning in in the cloud"

Actually kind of accurate in a weird sort of way.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Irving Patrick Freleigh is a pundit who uses content management systems to create creative analysis of leaning in in long-term investments.

Which is probably why he still makes his living lifting heavy things and putting them down again.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Jay 2K Winger is a generalist who uses content management systems to create new paradigms of championing in human endeavors.





...this is news to me.

[XCashier]

XCashier is a wizard who uses warp-field theory to create atomic explanations of dominating in making the world a better place

[ParkingWitch]

My given name is a lone wolf who uses drunken econometrics to create new paradigms of mansplaining in human resources.

[Aragarthiel]

Aragarthiel is a mastermind who uses content management systems to create unchecked growth of dunking in communism

I'm a mastermind. 'Nuff said.

[Kit-Ginevra]

This sounds so much like Wally from Dilbert created it.

[catcul]

"Catcul is a consultant who uses death hacking to create jargon generation of dominating in dad Twitter"

I will destroy you all on Twitter.

[taxguykarl]

"taxguykarl is a former musician who uses Google Analytics to create holistic nirvana of forging in trust-fund kids"

[KuariKaydrith]

"KuariKaydrith is a music fan who uses Google to create heavy synergy of breaking shit in modern media stacks"

or

"KuariKaydrith is a renegade who uses non-apology apologies to create alternative methods of dominating in new partnerships"

[Kanalah]

"Kanalah is a NYT best-seller who uses homeopathy to create brand activations of mansplaining in racial harmony."

Okay?

[Dreamstalker]

"Dreamstalker is a jack-of-all-trades who uses democratic revolutions to create exciting advances of data collecting in communism"

...hee, I like it.

[prjkt]

Prjkt is a Nickelback apologist who uses ancient Sumerian poetry to create atomic explanations of demolishing in trust-fund kids


I... have no words

[Lace Neil Singer]

Lace Neil Singer is a troll who uses advanced statistics to create native apps of positive margins in human endeavors.

What, I am not a troll!