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Dumbest question you have ever been asked

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  • #31
    Quoth bainsidhe View Post
    "We're open 24/7"
    Just not in a row.





    Customer: Where is nonfiction?
    Me: *sigh*
    Last edited by OhHerro; 11-09-2007, 04:14 AM.
    "MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!" - Lewis Black

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    • #32
      I often get asked "Are you a real person?" when I come on the line after the caller hears our automate spiel.

      I've also been asked if I was the person who does the voice for our automated system. The voice is quite obviously female, and while I'm not going to be mistaken for Barry White ever, I'd like to think you can at least determine I'm an outie rather than an innie.
      "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

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      • #33
        I work at a steak place.

        SC: What size are your ribeyes?
        Me: 6, 9 and 12 ounce.
        SC: Which one is bigger?

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        • #34
          I never thought i'd be asked this:

          SC: "Do you sell books?"
          Me: *facepalm*

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          • #35
            What to choose... the dumbest question I'm asked on almost a daily basis is "what does large mean?" And I still haven't come up with an answer that both answers the question and doesn't sound like I'm trying to be smart. Honestly, how do you even get *into* kindergarten without knowing what large means?

            Rarer, sometimes once only questions, with potential answers as needed, include:
            -- "Where's the mall?" (see that HUGE building across the street that says "Belk" on the end?)

            -- "What's the difference between #x and #y?" (Well, the McChicken meal comes with a chicken sandwich, while the Filet-o-Fish meal comes with a fish sandwich)

            -- "I can't find any hamburgers on your menu board. Do you sell hamburgers here?" (yes ma'am, billions and billions, and if your eyesight is that bad you probably shouldn't be driving)

            -- don't remember the wording, but asked if the baked apple pies had apples in them. And whether they were fried.

            -- "Are your French Fries low fat?"
            Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

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            • #36
              Apart from the obvious "Do you work here?" (No, I'm just rearranging this shelf because I have nothing better to do at 11AM on a Sunday Morning), I can only remember these exchanges:

              Her: Is there a Drugstore in this shopping centre?
              Me:...Yes, Ma'am.
              Her: Well? Where is it?
              Me. Um, You're standing in it.

              Her: Where do the down escalators go?
              To the seventh circle of Hell. It's clearly marked on the storemap.
              Me: To the lower salesfloor
              Her: Oh, there's a downstairs?
              "If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?" - Gerard Way

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              • #37
                SC: Can I write a check?

                I got everything ready and then asked them to produce the check so that I could finish the transaction.

                Me: Can I see the check?

                SC: Oh, I have to have one?

                Me: Yes, sir. To cash a check, you need to have a check...

                You wouldn't believe how many times people have done this! Its crazy. Yes, in fact you DO need a check to cash one... Why is that so hard to understand??

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                • #38
                  During my movie theater days: I'm working the ticket booth and this has happened more than once: Customer asks "What movies are you showing?" I guess they missed the gigantic marquee that lists the movies. It should be noted that the movies were posted again at the ticket booth.

                  At the hotel: "Where are the nearest strip clubs?" (Usually another word is used for "strip." ) I just don't go to those places because I find them sleazy and degrading. I get this question more often than I want too. But I am able to tell them because of the reports from other guests who frequent them.

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                  • #39
                    Quoth ReadyToRetire View Post
                    I work at a steak place.

                    SC: What size are your ribeyes?
                    Me: 6, 9 and 12 ounce.
                    SC: Which one is bigger?
                    In their defense, after a particularly nasty physics test involving lots of density questions, I have had thoughts along those same lines. Dense cattle.
                    The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                    "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                    Hoc spatio locantur.

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                    • #40
                      Geez, where do I start?

                      SC: Where would I find a red sharpie?
                      Me: Try your left hand. (he was holding one.)


                      Me: Kinko's, open 24 hours.
                      SC: What time do you close?
                      Me: We're open 24 hours .We don't close.
                      SC: Okay, so what time do you open, then?
                      (we got this one frequently.)


                      SC: Where is your computer rental area?
                      Me: We're standing in it.


                      (this is one of husband's)
                      SC: Can you remove the door in this pic in Photoshop? My husband was behind it when I took this, and I need a picture of him.

                      (No, but I bet if you took it to Hogwarts, you could find someone who could. )

                      SC: Why can't you put a square picture in a round frame without trimming it or shrinking it?

                      SC: I want this pic enlarged, just don't crop it or make the paper bigger.


                      I can't choose just one.

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                      • #41
                        Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                        SC: Can you remove the door in this pic in Photoshop? My husband was behind it when I took this, and I need a picture of him.
                        I once had a woman hand me a picture of a person looking down at the floor. The woman wanted to know if I could perform some of "that computer stuff" on it to rotate the person's head so that she could see the person's face.

                        I tried to explain to her how cameras work and what digital computer effects were capable and incapable of doing with two dimensional pictures. She cut me off and told me she would take the picture to someone who knew how to use a computer.
                        "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
                        .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

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                        • #42
                          I think anytime a CS repeats what I just said to them in the form of a question is a dumb question. Example:

                          "Well to return it you're going to need to bring the product back with a receipt?"

                          "So you're saying to return this I need to bring in the product with a receipt."

                          Oh I'm sorry...all I heard was the sound of my brain exploding.
                          --AmericanZero8503--
                          Telling Stories from the Front Line a.k.a Customer Service at a Grocery Store

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                          • #43
                            Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                            (this is one of husband's)
                            SC: Can you remove the door in this pic in Photoshop? My husband was behind it when I took this, and I need a picture of him.

                            (No, but I bet if you took it to Hogwarts, you could find someone who could. )
                            *laughing* Thank you for making my morning much better (someone called in sick, today).

                            I just remembered one that I always used to get when I worked at the mall (various stores). Remember, I live in Hawaii:

                            SC: Do you take United States currency or travelers checks here?
                            Me: Um ... yes ... since you're actually still in America.
                            I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand. -- Linus Van Pelt

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                            • #44
                              Clueless Woman: Why can't I use my Red Apple coupon? I've used them before!
                              Me: Um, those are for Foley's.
                              CW: Well, why can't I use it then?
                              Me: Because this is Dillard's.
                              CW: So, you're not going to honor it?

                              She, like many, many, other people, thought that just since all the stores were in the same mall, that we were all connected somehow and could accept one another's coupons, etc.

                              Another popular question: Does Foley's carry whatever-it-is-their-looking-for?
                              We were alway so-o-o-o tempted to say, "I don't know, I don't work for them."

                              Then, when I was at Hasting's (music, books, movies), had someone ask me if we sold music....while facing the music section.



                              Quoth hotelnpa View Post
                              "Where are the nearest strip clubs?" (Usually another word is used for "strip." )
                              Would that word be "tittie-bar"? I don't know why, but for some reason that word always makes me laugh!

                              Quoth Ill_Used_Heroine View Post
                              I just remembered one that I always used to get when I worked at the mall (various stores). Remember, I live in Hawaii:

                              SC: Do you take United States currency or travelers checks here?
                              Me: Um ... yes ... since you're actually still in America.
                              Oh, do I feel your pain. I live in NEW Mexico. Some people, including huge corporations and major news organizations, haven't gotten the memo that we became a state in 1912. I just wonder what they think that big hole between Arizona and Texas is?! New Mexico Magazine has a section called, "One of Our Fifty is Missing," and it is just downright scary how they never run out of stories!
                              It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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                              • #45
                                Quoth South Texan View Post
                                I

                                I tried to explain to her how cameras work and what digital computer effects were capable and incapable of doing with two dimensional pictures. She cut me off and told me she would take the picture to someone who knew how to use a computer.
                                Yeah, that was always the punchline to all the "weird requests for magic". They would always say something like "Can you get someone over here who knows what the hell they are doing?"

                                SC: Can you enlarge this so it's bigger?
                                ME: Sure, what size paper?
                                SC: Same size paper.
                                ME: How do you want it cropped?
                                SC: I don't want any of it cropped. Copy the whole thing on the same size paper.
                                ME: Sir, that's not possbile. If you don't want it cropped, we have to put it on bigger paper to enlarge it.
                                SC: Why don't you get somebody over here who knows what the hell they are doing?
                                ME: Sure, Sir, no problem. Which of these two trainees would you like to speak to?

                                It was Saturday. It was me and two newbies.

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