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Fork in the leg, by TonyDonuts

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  • Fork in the leg, by TonyDonuts

    TonyDonuts
    Cashier

    From: The Wilds of Meenasohta
    Registered: 09-08-2003
    Posts: 100

    It's funny you should mention that Argabarga.* I was talking to an upset customer once.* Her server had gone to get some napkins for her and he, that little BASTARD!, stopped to answer a question from another of his customers on the way back.

    While I'm explaining the facts of life to her, you know, just because SHE'S her doesn't mean we're gonna drop everything else.* While I'm talking to her I feel a very sharp pain in my right leg.

    HER LITTLE BASTARD SPAWN DEMON CHILD HAD STABBED ME IN THE LEG WITH A FORK!

    I step back from the table.

    Uh, oh, while I'm looking at the FORK STICKING OUT OF MY LEG I'm not talking to YUPPIE LADY.

    She starts complaining that I'm ignoring her.

    I tell her her DEMON SPAWN CHILD JUST STABBED ME IN THE LEG WITH A FORK AND IT'S STILL THERE!!

    She tells me that's "no excuse for ignoring an upset customer."

    I tell her to pack up her and her idiot brood and get the HELL out of my store.

    She demands to know "what I mean by that."

    I tell her that means "Pack up your idiot brood and your idiot self out of* before I decide to press charges."

    "For what?* You're ignoring me!"

    I walk over to the counter, with fork still embedded in my leg.* I pick up the phone and dial 911.* I walk back over to the table and sit down.* We wait for the cops.

    They show up, rather quickly, to my surprise.* The cops in this town are, more or less, great, but the DISPATCHERS seem to have a sick fixation on teenagers with beer.

    The cops explain to the lady that, well, stabbing people in the leg is WRONG, and that she, as the parent, is liable for any acts performed by her children.

    She tells them she's a lawyer.

    They tell her that's great, but it doesn't mean she and her children can do whatever they want without consequences.* They tell her she has two options.

    1)* Get the hell out.

    2)* Stay, and be arrested for a bunch of things.* While she's on her way to the slammer child protective services will be along to take custody of her children, there are two of them, until she makes bail.

    She blusters, she threatens, she yells.

    Cop takes out his cuff.

    Yuppie figures out that this is not a bluff, that she has run into someone that is NOT IMPRESSED with her degree, and leaves.

    She tells me, very huffily, "Well, WE'RE certainly NEVER coming here again!"

    I look at THE FORK STICKING OUT OF MY LEG (which I left to show the cops and hurt like a ...like a fork sticking out of my leg), and say,"Good."

    This, finally, got through to her.* She looks at me, looks at the fork, and at her child.* She left.

    Amazing how they deflate once they find out that, no, we don't care if they come back.
    Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

  • #2
    Well, that boggled the mind. What an asshat. Hope she likes her trip through the woodchipper!!!!!!!!!!!
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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    • #3
      Are you okay? Was the wound deep? Heck I think the cops should've arrested her anyay, since if that fork was still sticking out from your leg, that means it did penetrate enough to stay put...

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      • #4
        Quoth gundam40
        Are you okay? Was the wound deep? Heck I think the cops should've arrested her anyay, since if that fork was still sticking out from your leg, that means it did penetrate enough to stay put...
        Hurt like the dickens at the time.

        Cleaned up nicely though. It was just the whole, you know, IDEA that her child had stuck a fork in another human being, and she was upset that people weren't fawning over her, and her degree.
        I have a map of the world. It's actual size.

        -- Steven Wright

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        • #5
          a HUGE one two for this idiot; one for being a selfish hag and two for breeding.

          i'd have sued her for hospital costs, plus pain and suffering...kid stabs you and she doesn't see that as a 'viable excuse' for interrupting her?

          wench, pull your head out of your...
          look! it's ghengis khan!
          Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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          • #6
            Honestly, you should have pressed charges for that.

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            • #7
              Jeezus H. Baldheaded Christ, I would've thought she'd have been upset at least a little at the damn kid. I hope she drove home wondering if the little psycho she's raising might decide to murder her in her bed when he's a teenager if he's stabbing total strangers at this age.
              Civilized men tend to be ruder than savages because they know they can be impolite without getting their skulls split, as a rule.
              - Robert E. Howard

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              • #8
                Jesus! You have to wonder...the mother was upset and bitching at the workers there...kid probably sees that mom is upset at these people, so maybe out of some kind of transferred anger he stabs you in the leg because he sees his mom is mad and thinks its okay to treat people like this
                "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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                • #9
                  That psycho brat will probably run roughshod over everyone he meets, until he crosses the wrong person and ends up in jail, hospital or morgue, where Asshat Yuppie Mummsy freaks out over how anyone can do that to her Little Darling Precious Angel.
                  I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                  My LiveJournal
                  A page we can all agree with!

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