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Even when I can't see, hear, smell, touch, or taste them, they cause problems

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  • Even when I can't see, hear, smell, touch, or taste them, they cause problems

    I thought that moving into an accounting office with no direct interaction with customers would free me from ever having to deal with a sucky customer again... and in fairness I didn't have to, but I did have to clean up his clusterfuck of a mess.
    Friday night we had a guest who was, shall we say, not doing well on the machines... hey, most people are under no illusions about the nature of the business, if it wasn't set up that you were going to lose more time than you won there wouldn't be any lights on... most people know that they will walk out with less money than they came in with, they just enjoy the ride along the way and the amount they lose is the price of the entertainment (not that different than buying a movie ticket... except a lot more expensive for some people).
    This guy apparently didn't see things that way. He was so furious that he somehow Hulk raged a machine onto its side. Now, all machines have tilt sensors to prevent tampering, and even a slight tilt will lock the machine while it recalculates the plays in memory to make sure that the numbers are accurate and to make sure they were not affected by the tilt... a more severe tilt will result in more severe safeguards... in this case the machine took itself completely offline, locked, and reset. Security escorted him out, slot repair got the machine repaired (no major damage thankfully, like they got it back on the floor within a few hours), and everyone went on their merry way... until Saturday morning when I came in to work.
    You can imagine my surprise when I run my bad load report (which is any time a meter failed to load, typically because the meter exceeded the delta limit programmed into it which requires a quick verification that indeed the ending meter is that much higher than the beginning and that there was no malfunction, takes a few minutes a machine) and I see a machine on there because every single one of its meters is reporting a negative delta... coin in, coin out, bill in, ticket drop, voucher in, voucher out, cancel credit, attendant paid jackpots, all reporting negative deltas in the 6 digit range... well, that's not possible, there is no way that a machine can have negative play on it. So guess how I spent the first 3 hours of my shift yesterday? Yup, I was thanking God that the machines back up their logs on an almost continuous basis (every time you insert a bill a log entry is created, every time you hit the place bet button a log entry is created, every time you hit repeat bet, or cash out, or any other action you can do on a machine creates a log entry)... until I realized that the only way I could manually override the meters to where they were supposed to be was to manually add up every single transaction that had occurred during the day and apply each one to the relevant meters
    So thank you mister hulk rager... I really didn't need to do anything productive yesterday.
    If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

  • #2
    It's not his fault. The machine wasn't paying out like it's supposed to! Your machine is broken! It made him do that!

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    • #3
      I wonder if a Dalek could be converted into a slot machine? Just for Mr. Hulk Rager and his ilk.
      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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      • #4
        Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
        I wonder if a Dalek could be converted into a slot machine? Just for Mr. Hulk Rager and his ilk.
        Oh, that would be something!

        (Hulk Rager is playing a Dalek Blackjack machine)
        HR: Hit me! C'mon, 21...damn it!
        DBM: You - Went - Bust! EX-TER-MIN-ATE! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!
        (Dalek gun protrudes out of machine and blasts HR into oblivion.)

        I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
        My LiveJournal
        A page we can all agree with!

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        • #5
          While I'm glad there is ANY path back to a correct balance, I'm sorry it's such a tedious one. My condolences, smiley.

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          • #6
            The problem with that is that you don't want to zap people who just get a little bit upset. You want to zap the people who cause the machine to tilt - and a Dalek is useless if it gets tipped on its side.

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            • #7
              Rofl Chromatix, now you've got me imagining a Dalek crossed with a weeble-wobble.

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              • #8
                Technically, they were called Weebles. And they wobbled. But they didn't fall down. Yes, I had some as a child.

                But a Dalek Weeble would actually be a good idea, from a Dalek engineering perspective. Eliminate the flaw they have of being useless when they get knocked over. Would make them even MORE dangerous.

                Somehow I don't think the creators of Weebles ever envisioned some asshat using their brilliant child-friendly toys to improve the chances of universals destruction by an alien cyborg race. Unless....that was their plan from the beginning....

                "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                Still A Customer."

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                • #9
                  Fun fact: Weebles operate on exactly the same principle as the hull of a ship.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                    I wonder if a Dalek could be converted into a slot machine? Just for Mr. Hulk Rager and his ilk.
                    I firmly believe that Daleks are the machines that get abused once too often. Just like Chucky from Child's Play was created by children not letting him finish his programed sayings.

                    (This is from listening to my son's poor dog toy going, "I-I-I-I Love-I-I-I-I-I" about fifteen millions times. I felt like telling my son to let the poor thing finish it's sentence!)
                    If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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                    • #11
                      A Dalek slot machine would be pure awesome... it may kill me... but it would be worth it, because then I would die happy.
                      If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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                      • #12
                        Quoth raudf View Post
                        I firmly believe that Daleks are the machines that get abused once too often.
                        Daleks aren't robots.
                        PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                        There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                        • #13
                          Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
                          A Dalek slot machine would be pure awesome... it may kill me... but it would be worth it, because then I would die happy.
                          "RE-CAL-CU-LATE!"

                          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                          Still A Customer."

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                          • #14
                            Was his name Franklin?
                            "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,"

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                              Daleks aren't robots.
                              True. So.. we'll go with slot machine tech merged with the slot machine, both halves having the urge to kill SCs for abusing them. Both would have a great reason to want to murder.
                              If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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