Tales from the customer service desk.

[AkaiKitsune]

Basically too small for an individual SC thread. Since they all happened at the service desk I'll put them together. Feel free to add your own.

That's not how Lotto works dickhead.

So an older gentleman (but not so old as to be able to claim senility) came up to the SD. He wanted to return a lotto ticket. His reasoning? He didn't win anything, he wanted a new one. Keep in mind in this province we don't have any guarantee everytime winner type tickets. He straight up wanted to play again so he could get free money.

We are not responsible for you forgetting you bought something.

Customer comes in wanting to return some frozen shrimp.

SC: I would like to return these.
Me: Okay, why are you returning it? Is something wrong with the product?
SC: yes, it's expired.
Me: I'm sorry that happened. Do you have the receipt?
SC: No, and oh and it was on BOGO sale.
Me: Okay, when was the item purchased. I can probably look it up.
SC: August.
Me: August? It's July right now sir (thinking he got his dates mixed up because I still have some hope for humanity apparently).
SC: Yes, I'm aware (que irritated voice). I bought it last, no the year before.
Me: (deadpan) So August of 2016...
SC: Yes (definitely irritated voice), we forgot we put it in the freezer and I guess it got buried. We cleaned it out the other day and found it again. Only we can't eat it now~ *insert whining voice*.
Me: I'm sorry sir, but we can't be responsible for you having forgot about it and so not consuming it before it's best before date. It's been two years already and we can no longer be reimbursed for the claim.
SC: But we bought it and can't eat it now. You have to take it back and give us money.
Me: Here let me get my manager so they can [say the exact same thing I just did. And warn them to call WIC] explain it better [hopefully in small words you can understand.

Do I look like a fucking ATM to you?

Typical customer comes up with a chocolate bar and demands cash back.
SC: I want $700 CB, I need to pay my rent soon.
Me: I'm sorry but we don't have that kind of cash. [try an actual ATM, that's what they are there for]
SC: This is the lotto desk, I know you have lots of money.
Me: unfortunately not enough for that. We don't carry much because of theft liability issues this late at night.
SC: well that's not good customer service! How did you even become a CS cashier with that attitude!
Me: I'm sorry [no I'm not shitface. There are literally 6 banks within a 5minute walk that all have ATMs available] we don't have that kind of cash at the moment.
SC: *scoffs and stomps off*

[emax4]

SC: well that's not good customer service! How did you even become a CS cashier with that attitude!

"Well how do you go out in public without a chaperone not knowing that a store is not a bank, and that a bank has more money?"

[mjr]

Typical customer comes up with a chocolate bar and demands cash back.
SC: I want $700 CB, I need to pay my rent soon.
Me: I'm sorry but we don't have that kind of cash. [try an actual ATM, that's what they are there for]
SC: This is the lotto desk, I know you have lots of money.
Me: unfortunately not enough for that. We don't carry much because of theft liability issues this late at night.
SC: well that's not good customer service! How did you even become a CS cashier with that attitude!
Me: I'm sorry [no I'm not shitface. There are literally 6 banks within a 5minute walk that all have ATMs available] we don't have that kind of cash at the moment.
SC: *scoffs and stomps off*

Um, where did this guy think the "cash back" came from? Did he think it was free money, or something?

[Trixie]

Had a lady the other day try to reload a prepaid debit card. She was trying to buy airline tickets and needed to put $800 on the card. Problem is our store limit is $500. She asked if she could do two transactions. No. After much wasted time to see if we have anything that will let her load more, she finally decides to do the $500. I start the transactions and ask for ID...

"I don't have it." Then she just walks out. Not even an argument.



Have a nice day!

I always seem to get some winners on the phone, too.

Had a lady ask if we could redo a canvas for her. She had it done a couple years ago but they updated the picture and wanted a new one done. I think there was someone in the first one she really didn't want hanging on her wall anymore.

The other day had a call asking if we sold cream-style corn. No, nor do we sell canned asparagus (that's one from Christmas).

Then my favorite story. I used to do demonstrations in grocery stores and one day I'm waiting at customer service to check in and a guy comes up saying he bought some expired 12 packs of Coke. By a few years. Rarely if ever does soda stay on the shelf long enough to expire and not by years if it is. The store manager laughed at the guy while saying no.

[AkaiKitsune]

I always seem to get some winners on the phone, too.

Which is why I never introduce myself by name on the phone anymore.

I think my favourite was a girl who called in asking if we had prepaid visas and then gave me all her MasterCard info so she could pay for it over the phone. What? Did she think I'd just hand deliver it to her house afterwards?

[KellyHabersham]

*Inspired by a customer from earlier this week*

I'm happy to help you with using our "mobile printing" option via your cell phone, but please keep in mind that I am NOT necessarily familiar with your particular phone model. So I can't automatically tell you how to download/save something onto your cell phone.

[KellyHabersham]

I work at the public library's customer service desk, NOT for Wal-Mart, Olive Garden,....etc. Why assume that I will know everything about applying for jobs with those places?

[XCashier]

Um, where did this guy think the "cash back" came from? Did he think it was free money, or something?

It would not surprise me if he did. Far too many people have no clue how the world actually works.