Why I Didn't Cry at Gram's Funeral

[Gaki]

Because I was way way way too pissed off. Now picture this: Your great grandmother has just passed away at age 92. She's been around for your entire 20 years of life and you can't imagine life without her cute old lady wrinkles and her wet old person kisses. She's like the greatest old lady ever, BEST GRAM EVER. So you're all upset and you've cried at least twice over her passing. You rearranged your entire college schedule so you could travel six hours back to your hometown for her funeral and then six hours back the next day.

At the funeral, everyone is solemn and quiet. No...not everyone.

There was a small child SCREAMING AND RUNNING AROUND AND STOMPING ALL OVER THE BACK OF THE CHURCH. I must have made the most horrific face I've ever made in my entire life and it went to waste because I couldn't see the parent of the year through all the people crammed into the pews because Gram was a popular lady (and rightly so, she was so amazing.) I was so angry I couldn't even sing the hymns because I kept cringing from the screaming.

If that was my kid there would have been HELL TO PAY after a stunt like that. "Hell to pay" = NO DESERT FOR A WEEK.

Side Note:

After some discreet investigations I found a resolution to the question of: "Is Gram wearing shoes?"

Answer: "No."

Turns out my Grandmother (Gram's eldest daughter) requested that she not be buried in shoes.

[Spork4pedro]

I was in a similar situation last year but I was the mother with the crying child. We were at my SO's relative's funeral in a small Catholic church and my 1 yo son couldn't handle being still and quiet for very long. But the difference between the parent in the OP and myself was that I quickly took my son out to the lobby and we hung out in the room that designated for crying babies! It worked out well since I'm not really comfortable with Catholic services (but I gotta say that all the churches I've been in have been beautiful!) so Little Man got to run around while I could still (sorta) watch the funeral.

The parent(s) at your great grandmother's funeral should have had the sense to do the same (either if such a room was available or into the lobby) Since you mentioned it was a young child I doubt it was really his/her fault as much as the parents. *most* little kids just can't handle it.

on another note...I am sorry for you and your family's loss.

[Victory Sabre]

It's not the child's fault, it was the fault of the parents.

I remember at my great uncle's funeral 8 years ago. My nephew was pretty young still (3) and he started getting antsy. When he did, I took him outside for a walk (my sister was taking care of my niece who was an infant at the time). After a walk, he was fine to go back in, and made it through the rest of the funeral just fine.

Also, I'm sorry about your loss. She sounded like an awesome woman from your description.

[Gaki]

This is why I'm never having kids. I would not be able to handle kids not understanding these things. I would get WAY too frustrated with a kid. I'd probably cry more than my kid would just from all the stress and frustration of it all. No kids. Might make my mom unhappy but NO. NO KIDS. PERIOD. Siiiiiiigh.

[nicolecj]

At my fiancee's funeral they did not put on shoes because it is difficult to fit them in the casket and he was being cremated anyways. Usually they only have the top of the casket open anyways.

That kid was out of line. If you can not make them behave, you need to find a babysitter. It is far more direspectful to the grieving family to have a screaming child there, and to be entirely honest, I really can't remember who was at the funeral and who wasn't...

At least it helped you get through the day a little less tearfully. I personally had to do the receiving line so I wore 3 inch heels on purpose. The pain made me less able to concentrate on the love of my life lying at rest before me. Shockingly, it worked and I was able to speak somewhat clearly and blubber a little less.

[blas]

Oh yay, another legit reason I can use for not wanting to have kids (yes, I have to justify myself to everyone, it seems).

I wouldn't be able to handle kids not understanding, either. I don't hate kids because of the fact that they are too young to understand the concept, I generally hate the parents, but I simply cannot tolerate children in places where proper behavior is a must.

[Raveni]

I'm sorry for your loss.

If it makes you feel any better, be thankful that your great-grandmother has left the world so full of life, and left her shoes to throw at it when it doesn't stop screaming.

[Gaki]

left her shoes to throw at it when it doesn't stop screaming.

I snorted with my laugh and woke my roommate up. Thank you.

[tollbaby]

I had to take my daughter out and miss most of my niece's wedding (daughter was 2 and really excited about everything LOL babbling away and giggling until we told her to shush, then it was the crocodile tears and wailing). I didn't want to disrupt the ceremony for everyone else, so I missed it. But better to miss it than ruin it for everybody else.

[Yarnil]

I was at the funeral of the mother of my best friend. Someone "forgot" to turn off his cellphone. Ok, once, irritating, but alas, everyone can forget that.

But over 15 calls in 15 minutes..... TURN OFF THE DAMN PHONE IN SUCH A SITUATION

[tropicsgoddess]

Sorry for your loss. Personally, if that was my kid, he would've been with a sitter. I guess because of my culture and the way I grew up, little kids weren't taken to funerals. Not so much because of all the fuss they would make but people getting drunk at the repast and such.

[laborcat]

Personally, if that was my kid, he would've been with a sitter.

When my grandfather passed away (ok step-grandfather but he was more so to me than my own blood grandparents) my oldest was around a year or so old and I left him with my mom's neighbor for the service. I'd have rather had him with me for the comfort factor but I knew that he wouldn't have been quiet.

Sorry for your loss.

[ADoyle90815]

This is another reason why I'm glad I don't have kids, and would rather be an aunt. My brother actually put on his wedding invitations, "Please, no children" and while some EW's might have had their panties in a wad that they couldn't bring their special snowflake, the wedding itself was really nice as there were no children to disrupt things. Now, they have my niece, and when they go to weddings or funerals, they get a sitter, usually a family member.

As for funerals, the thing I remember about an uncle's funeral was that my youngest cousin fell off the pew during the funeral mass.

[Hyena Dandy]

I blame the parent, not the kid. If you're young, you might not understand the significance of the event. I wouldn't punish him too harshly, but if the kid got all runny, he was probably (though not definitely) a little bouncey earlier.

[RedRoseSpiral]

Something similar happened during my great-uncle's funeral except the kids making a scene were old enough to know better, and they were my great-uncle's grandchildren. I was a teenager (15 or so) and almost smacked the crap out of the oldest one. He didn't care that his grandfather was dead. He just cared that he had to wear a suit and tie and when dinner was. Glad his mom moved to Texas. That part of the family has always been trouble.