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I lost it. (u-scan story)

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  • I lost it. (u-scan story)

    I lost it.

    I was a Meijer (grocery and more store). They have the fancy new u-scan systems that I LOVE. I can’t say enough how much I love these things. No stupid cashier, lower cost, pass the savings along and all. Anyway, the one thing I don’t like about them is other people. There are certain things that the u-scan does not deal with well. Namely, clearance items marked down manually, alcohol, strange coupons, and basically anything that the cashier has to be involved with.

    Last night the store was not that busy, and I was not in a particular hurry, and I am a very patient person (after years of customer service). I was standing in line at the u-scan. There was a woman at the machine, and two guys ahead of me. This is the 12 item or less line. To the left are 6 regular lanes. The 12 item line usually moves very fast. I stand at the back of the line….I stand there….no movememt….I stand there….no movement…..I stand there. After about 5 minutes I finally look around the two guys in front of me. There is a lady there (keep in mind, she has been up there for MORE THAN 5 MINUTES). She has 8 bags on the stand all full, and more stuff in her cart. Apparently, she purchased EVERY HAND MARKED ITEM IN THE TRI STATE AREA, because the cashier had to hand ring about 2 dozen items. Then she had wine, so they had to check her ID. Then when the bag got full, she pulled it off the stand and put it in her cart. She failed to realize that the stand is actually a scale, and makes sure that she is not stealing. By removing the bag, the machine stops letting her scan things. The cashier told her to put it back on the shelf. The put the bag back on the shelf, scanned the next item, then put the bag back in her cart, and put the item in the next bag. The cashier tells her that all the items have to stay on the shelf. She puts the bag on top of another bag, and resumes scanning. She fills the next bag and puts it in the cart. The cashier tells her AGAIN that she has to leave everything on the shelf.

    I should note at this point that I am a very patient person. I am more than capable of bottling up my frustrations in front of others, then releasing them somewhere else (I play counterstrike…boom headshot : ) ). The problem with this type of dealing with frustrations is that when a customer does manage to overwhelm me with stupidity, I break, and ALL the frustrations I have had with them come flying out. Here is the conversation:

    Me: Maam, what the cashier is telling you is that the stand is a scale, it weighs everything to make sure that you are scanning everything, so everything needs to stay on the scale.

    SC: I understand that, be patient.

    Me: I have been, I’m just trying to help.

    SC: Look, I have just as much right to be here as you, wait your turn.

    Me (top officially blown): No. That is wrong. You have NO RIGHT to be here. There is a large sign there stating that this line is reserved for people with 12 items or less. You have ZERO right to be here. If it were up to me you would not only be kicked out of this line for violating policy stated on a sign, you would be kicked out of the store for being too vapid to comprehend SHOPPING. On top of that, if I were governor I would kick you out of the state for lowering its productivity, and if I were president I would deport you…that is, if it is not considered a terrorist act upon the receiving country. Anyone that can not count to 12 is not a competent member of society, and dead wood should be pruned from the tree. By all means, continue scanning your 74th item in the 12 item lane, and telling ME to be patient, as if I were the one that needed correcting here. (wife nudges me and says that’s enough) (I turn to wife) I’m just saying, if Darwin was right she would be dead by now. There is no way a mouth breather could make it this far if he was right. She had to be caused by Artificial Insemination, because there is no way a sperm responsible for some this dumb won that race.

    My wife was 9 shades of red after that comment.

    Me: Come on, lets go to the other line, I want to get out of here before my food bio-degrades.

    The cashier was giggling, the guys in front of me were crying and red faced they were laughing so hard. The woman just stood there with her mouth open, her tiny brain unable to process the comments as fast as they were said. She never said a word to me just looked at me with her mouth open. I went down to a different lane.

  • #2
    Whoa...

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    • #3
      Bless you Sir, Bless You!!!

      If I could Knight thee, I would do so without a second thought to the matter!! See this is what I'm talking about people. Have some guts and stand up for yourself, or else you deserve to face the scary world without help and in a bubble.

      Broadcasting to you live from the nerve center of my brain..... szzzt *we are currently experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by*

      Comment


      • #4
        Nice. very, very nice.
        Well fiddle dee dee!!

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        • #5
          *applauds* That was indeed beautiful. *wipes a tear from her eye*
          "Dance when you're broken open.
          Dance if you've torn the bandage off.
          Dance in the middle of the fighting.
          Dance in your blood.
          Dance when you're perfectly free."
          -Rumi

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          • #6
            Hurrah! If only more people did that, the world would be a much smarter place


            Pammykins

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            • #7
              WOOO WOOO WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

              That was awesome.

              Course I think I would have moved to another lane quicker.

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              • #8
                That Overentitled BITCH needed a clue by four. Loved that reply! Of course the SC went home in her Leased Lexus (I am from Southern California and we imported this stupid all the time) and whined about how MEAN the little people were to her!

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                • #9
                  Bra-freakin'-vo. I think that maybe you went a little long on her, but nonetheless, big kudos for putting her in her place.

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                  • #10
                    Beautiful, man! Bravo!











                    Any bets on how long it takes for someone to post that it was wrong and a not-nice thing to do?
                    I know nothing and I can prove it!

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                    • #11
                      Perfect! Absolutely Perfect!
                      I'm just me. I like it. Stop trying to change what I like!

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Jadedcarguy View Post

                        Any bets on how long it takes for someone to post that it was wrong and a not-nice thing to do?

                        ha ha, i would take the bait, but i don't wanna get myself in trouble.
                        Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

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                        • #13
                          That was wrong and a not-nice thing to do...











                          Just kidding. Gareth Blackstock approves, and so do I.
                          Last edited by counterjockey; 08-22-2007, 06:41 PM.
                          "Love keeps her in the air when she ought fall down, let's you know she's hurting 'fore she keens...makes her a home."

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Jadedcarguy View Post
                            Any bets on how long it takes for someone to post that it was wrong and a not-nice thing to do?
                            B-b-but it was so friggin' funny! How could anyone think that was wrong?

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                            • #15


                              That was full of win.
                              A smile is just a grimace that's been edited for public consumption. -- Tony Cochran

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