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Let your children drown then!

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  • #46
    Gah, Canadian Geese. Satan's aerial minions. ><

    "Goose" is Latin for "shithawk" you know. <nods wisely>

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    • #47
      Quoth AFpheonix View Post
      Only the migrating Canada geese are protected. The flocks that hang out year-round are not.
      I should have been more clear in my post. Most times, many of the geese eventually go away--they tend to follow the food supply around the county. However, several stick around...and *those* are the ones that get shot at. I don't think the guy intends to harm them...but just make enough noise to scare them off.
      Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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      • #48
        I don't know if emus can kill you, but ostridges can. They can freaking DISEMBOWEL you. By kicking. In fact, if you want to not get your guts strung out all over the ostridge pens and the surrounding trees, it's wise you keep your hand on their heads and push their heads down low so they can't kick you.

        I really have no problem with the theory that birds decended from things like, oh, I dunno, a T-REX.

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        • #49
          At the country park, for a while, we had an enclosure with several white farm geese in it. Now, what I used to do is just throw their food over the fence, and fill up their water bucket (placed right next to the fence) with the hose, cuz they were nasty little bastards, rip you up soon as look at you.

          At least, that was my view and the view of everyone who worked in the stables and animal farm. However, the view of the general public was more "Aww, look at those cute white birds! Let's go pet them!" We had several cases of idiots being attacked by ravenous geese, and whining to the office about that.

          Tho, it never went anywhere, due to the fact that we had huge signs up all over the animal farm telling people to not enter the animal enclosures. When the animal farm was shifted to the front of the stables, we couldn't face shifting the geese so we sold them to a butcher.

          We also had 2 Canada geese, but the bloody things just refused to move from the space where the enclosure was (we put them in with the ducks, in the as it happened vain hope that they'd stay with them) so we had to give up and leave them there to take their chance. A fox got them; we came back the next day to find 2 heads and a sh*tload of feathers.
          People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
          My DeviantArt.

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          • #50
            Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
            I don't know if emus can kill you, but ostridges can. They can freaking DISEMBOWEL you. By kicking. In fact, if you want to not get your guts strung out all over the ostridge pens and the surrounding trees, it's wise you keep your hand on their heads and push their heads down low so they can't kick you.
            Did you ever see that Dirty Jobs (on the Discovery Channel) where Mike Rowe went to the ostritch farm?
            Great stuff right there...
            Customer: What do you mean there's no ice! I have to drink this coffee hot? - Clerks

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            • #51
              Quoth lordlundar View Post

              This lady in one of my Darwin Awards books decided to cover her kid with honey. When the park ranger (who was guiding the tour this lady was in) asked her why, her response was "I want to take a picture of the bear licking the honey off of him." Ranger intervened pretty quickly.
              Parents like that mother are the reason we have CPS.
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • #52
                Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
                However, the view of the general public was more "Aww, look at those cute white birds! Let's go pet them!" We had several cases of idiots being attacked by ravenous geese, and whining to the office about that.
                OffT: As far as dangerous animals go, I once beat up a great Dane/pitbull mix that tried to gore my mini Sheltie. That monster is taller and heavier than me. Nobody touches my mini Sheltie.

                Sorta OnT: Enclosures and signs ; the bane of "selectively illeterate" SCs. Ever saw ANY show that has "When _____ attack/go wrong" in the title? I remember a fat lady climbing over 3 fences to take a picture with a polar bear... and it ripped off her thigh.

                I'm sure some of the staff on hand had that one little evil thought in the back of their heads... "Natural Selection at work, folks."
                Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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                • #53
                  At my godfather's house, there is a swan and its babies that always come to his house for food. It's like clockwork. The swan is strangely friendly to him and is patient when it comes to food. I do know that swans are dangerous, fierce birds.

                  Interesting story time: In high school, I did track and cross-country. My school was right next to a state park so we always ran back there. One day, I was by myself and was running next to a lake, I saw a family of Canada geese all going into the lake, I slowed down a bit so I wouldn't scare them thinking that they would just go in the water and mind their business. I was wrong, I was very very wrong. One goose just waits tiil its family is in the water and turns around and comes after me, honking up a storm. I ran like hell and he left me be. However, my friend ran by and I didn't have a chance to warn him. I stop, I wait for him, the next thing I see is my friend screaming "holy shit, psycho geese!" I never ran in that part of the park again. Shame too, it was a beautiful part of it also.


                  On that note, I've seen guard geese. I've been around all sorts of animals but geese are one animal (besides reptiles) that I do not dare mess with.

                  Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post

                  Sorta OnT: Enclosures and signs ; the bane of "selectively illeterate" SCs. Ever saw ANY show that has "When _____ attack/go wrong" in the title? I remember a fat lady climbing over 3 fences to take a picture with a polar bear... and it ripped off her thigh.

                  I'm sure some of the staff on hand had that one little evil thought in the back of their heads... "Natural Selection at work, folks."
                  There was a thread a while back that had a story where a little girl climbed over an enclosure just so she could touch some meerkats. She got bit, didn't want the shot and the meerkats had to be put down. Needless to say, we were pissed about that.
                  The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

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                  • #54
                    Quoth AFpheonix View Post
                    Not just any lasers, FRICKIN' lasers!
                    Man! That'd be Awesome!!
                    Hee!
                    I no longer fear HELL.
                    I work in RETAIL.

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                    • #55
                      Quoth ArenaBoy View Post
                      There was a thread a while back that had a story where a little girl climbed over an enclosure just so she could touch some meerkats. She got bit, didn't want the shot and the meerkats had to be put down. Needless to say, we were pissed about that.
                      This would be a case of a SZG (Sucky Zoo Goer) getting his/her way even if proven wrong.
                      Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                      "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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                      • #56
                        "Especially when they start feeling agro."
                        "GAH! MMO Addiction! I need 30cc of life injected, stat!"

                        Actually agro is also slang, I guess purely Aussie slang Agro = angry, grumpy, etc. All the people I know over 50 have used it on occasion.

                        Speaking of dangerous creatures though: Tourists! Beware the kangaroos - especially the ones not in parks/sanctuaries that are more used to people! They look cute and wonderful, but both my uncle and brother nearly got killed by kangaroo bucks when they were kids. Them legs are strooooooong.
                        Re: Quiche.
                        Pie is manly.
                        Eggs, meat, and cheese are manly.
                        Therefore, making an egg, meat, and cheese pie must be very manly.
                        So sayeth Spiffy McMoron!

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                        • #57
                          Quoth ArenaBoy View Post
                          There was a thread a while back that had a story where a little girl climbed over an enclosure just so she could touch some meerkats. She got bit, didn't want the shot and the meerkats had to be put down. Needless to say, we were pissed about that.
                          That's horrible.

                          Did the OP on that one work in a zoo? I was just going to ask if we've ever had anyone here who worked in a zoo, because you just KNOW they had some great stories, especially given the SC propensity to ignore signs.

                          If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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                          • #58
                            Yup, I have worked at a zoo. Nope, I have not see that show. Did it involve someone getting kicked by an ostridge?

                            Yup, I have some stories of utter stupidity and candidates for the Darwin Awards.



                            I would have to say I've never seen such stupidity as when I worked at the zoo.

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                            • #59
                              http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...hlight=meerkat for the meerkat thread. However, it's already fourteen pages long, and it's been long dead. Please glance and let it sleep.

                              Rapscallion

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                              • #60
                                Some people don't get the fact that they call them "wild animals" because, well, they're wild.

                                I wouldn't mess with anything that hasn't been tame for at least three generations, minimum, unless I knew a decent amount about the critter.

                                Anything carnivorous is automatically suspect. Anything that outmasses me is automatically suspect (which would include deer and ostriches). Then there are the critters that have reputations for being mean, such as moose, geese & swans & peacocks, and most mustelids.

                                My family had a ranch when I was little, and we had quite a lot of chickens. The roosters were all kept in an enclosure. My dad was the only one that would deal with them, and he'd go in with combat boots and welding gloves.

                                ^-.-^
                                Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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