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You keep using the term low maintenance.

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  • You keep using the term low maintenance.

    I do not think it means what you think it means.

    I work for a company that offers people money to buy new homes...sometimes, even homes they can afford! (Some people come in still thinking that it's 2007, and we won't check your employment history, tax returns, or bank statements...)

    You have to be a special breed of person to be a loan officer, I've noticed. You have to have a BIG dose of salesman/womanship, and you have to be a real go-getter.

    Since these people earn their money mainly from commissions off of the loans they bring in, I can let some asshattery slide as part and parcel of the process. If your computer doesn't work, I understand if it is distressing.

    What really grinds my goat's gears, is the ones who think that they are 'special', need different things, and the worst ones are the ones who think that I'll have no problem waiving my magic wand (no, not THAT one) and ignoring the rules for them. This industry LIVES on regulations, both company and government, and it's my ass if I break them. Severs have logs, ya know!

    We recently brought on a new employee who insisted on having BRAND NEW equipment, instead of used equipment. He also insisted on having a solid state drive instead of a regular one, and not just a small one - a 512GB one! Decent ones of that capacity start at about $210.

    There's no need for a hard drive that size, we only supply 500GB regular hard drives because that's the lowest HP offers! Most of our work is server based.

    SSDs are nice, I have them in my machines at home, but there's no need for it aside from the slightly lower chance of borking your machine if you drop it (it's a laptop), due to the lack of moving parts compared to a regular HD. We aren't generating new video files out of Final Cut Pro out in the field and need to squeeze every second out of them...

    The best part? He's been with us for a week, and has sent in a minimum of one ticket every day about things that were explained to him on day one, and he claims he's "low maintenance".

    TRUST me - more stories to come.

  • #2
    Well, sure, he doesn't have to do the maintenance himself, so it doesn't count either that, or he knows someone who makes him SEEM low-maint by comparison. Please tell me they laughed at his "requirements" for all-new gear.

    PS, Welcome to CS!
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    • #3
      They didn't laugh at his requirements. He claims to be able to bring in over $15,000,000 a year in business, and the head honcho is very dollar driven. (Never mind the fact that our best producing LO group, which is 3 LOs, 5 LO Assistants/Prod Managers and 2 processors hauls that to the company in a quarter...) Oh, and 15 million a year isn't that many UNITS, since he is based out of the People's Republic Of Boulder...where housing is STUPID expensive.

      He got completely brand new, the following:

      2 21.5" monitors ($200 apiece, don't know why my company pays so much)
      1 stand that mounts both of them to a central base, much like a wall mount ($150)
      1 docking station ($250)
      1 14.1" HP Folio 9480p - ultrabook style computer, no internal optical, want to say about $1000
      The aformentioned 512GB SSD - $220

      The only thing he didn't get brand new was the desk phone.

      And Mr. Low Maintenance is developing a nasty habit of submitting tickets with "you guys should do this to fix it" links to websites and forums.

      1. That's my job, to do research like that.
      2. If that WAS a fix, and you could research it yourself....DO IT YOURSELF. One was for a missing driver for the hotkeys on his machine. Double click install file. Real tough. (We accidentally loaded an incomplete image onto his machine)
      3. It's not the fix. We run Windows 7 Pro, because Windows 8.X is the tool of the debbil. He sent us a link to fixing a problem...on Windows 8.

      Comment


      • #4
        Sort of low maintenance, "Nope not happening." in reply.
        Last edited by rvdammit; 12-10-2014, 09:50 PM. Reason: fixed tpyos
        ludo ergo sum

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Ted_The_IT_Guy View Post
          ... and he claims he's "low maintenance".
          He got the "low" part right. He is low man in the office.
          "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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          • #6
            Quoth Ted_The_IT_Guy View Post
            They didn't laugh at his requirements. He claims to be able to bring in over $15,000,000 a year in business, and the head honcho is very dollar driven.
            <snip>

            He got completely brand new, the following:
            <list of shiny>
            Great. With my utter barsteward hat on, it's time for some fun. Now order a complete set of spare parts and duplicates, on the basis Mr Low Maintenance is soooooo important he can't be without his shiny.

            Either this gets approved, and his "cost" in IT terms just doubled, thereby dulling his attractive shine to $$$-boss, or it gets refused, and every broken thing takes ages to fix because he insisted on unique speshul snowflake kit.

            Yes, yes I am evil.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Ted_The_IT_Guy View Post

              And Mr. Low Maintenance is developing a nasty habit of submitting tickets with "you guys should do this to fix it" links to websites and forums.
              So this person who supposedly brings in millions is sitting there wasting time telling you how to do your job.
              Replace anger management with stupidity management.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth notalwaysright View Post
                wasting time telling you how to do your job.
                Ay-yup.

                And as I've said...$15,000,000 a year isn't special. You can easily sell 15 million in mortgages in Boulder County doing ONE loan a month for a year. Our tops in CO team brings in close to $60,000,000, and the top team over in corporate (another state) brings in $80,000,000.

                I saw the monthly commission breakdown for a top level LO - he scored $81,000 in commissions in one month. And commissions are usually 1.5 to 2%. He goes after the people who want mortgages between 100K and 175K...some other LOs in the office turn their noses up at anything less than $250K to $300K.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Costs

                  Do the math and take it to your boss.

                  $15,000,000 / 360 = $41,666.66 per day, assume he takes the min in holidays.

                  $41,666.66 / 15 = $2,777.77 per hour, assumes he puts in extra hours each and every day.

                  $2,777.77 / 4 = $694.44 per tip, assumes he spends no more than 15 minutes per tip.

                  Now go to your boss and point out he is wasting almost $700 each and every time he spends his personal time trying to do your job.

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