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  • Do you want a gold star?

    Ever know someone who has to one-up you? I do love this coworker but this one thing drives me nuts. So "Faye" was mentioning that one of our customers has a balance on it's credit line that's the same 5-digit figure that I am in debt, approximately. "Yolanda" said something along the lines of "How can someone get in that much debt?!?" I answered that I know exactly how. Now, I'm open about my past mistakes so I have no problem mentioning this, as most people are understanding. And Faye and Yolanda already know. I said that in some cases the income isn't enough, more than it's reckless spending. Yolanda's response to that: "I didn't have enough income [when she was younger, out on her own after having a practically absent mom] and I still didn't get that much in debt!" That rubbed me the wrong way because
    1. My debt is that high now due to finance charges and the fact that for the last several years it couldn't be collected by garnishment or payment because I was at the poverty line.
    2. It's getting paid now. And I'm enduring that on my own. I pay all the rent, all the bills, and lose $400 of net income every single month for a while now. Yolanda lives with 2 other people and her share of the rent is like $200. We've talked about that, too. My place is maybe $75 more than hers. It's not like I live in a luxury apt. and complain that I'm broke. ETA: She doesn't have any chronic medical issues either. Those are a money sucker.
    3. A large part of the reason I got into trouble was trying to pay basic necessities with credit cards. Yes, some of it was unwise spending, but a large part was for things like food and transportation. I didn't know about social services. "If I didn't have food, I didn't eat!" she exclaimed. Well, yeah, 10 years later I realize I could've done that and it would've benefitted me (wonky blood sugar) but I just didn't. I chose to eat. It doesn't make me a bad person. I spent most of my 20s involuntarily fasting, by the way.
    4. Both of us have had times of plenty and times of extreme want. The results of my want are unfortunately thousands of dollars owed. And that's largely my fault; should've carried 3 jobs. I take responsibility. But one-upping me over something that's in the past (which I'm still enduring the consequences of) is a bit unkind.

    Please don't let this turn into a discussion about deadbeats or whatever. I'm not complaining about having to suffer my own consequences. I just think people could try to understand that others may make mistakes they haven't.
    Last edited by Food Lady; 08-24-2019, 10:42 PM.
    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

  • #2
    I've known a couple of people like that. No matter how good you're doing, they're doing ever so much better; no matter how bad things are for you, they are having SO MUCH a worse time of it. Gets to the point where you quit speaking to them insofar as you can (it's a bit trickier when you work with them ...)

    Meanwhile I'm sitting here listening to the Bay City Rollers singing "Saturday Night", fer crying out loud ...
    Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
    ~ Mr Hero

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