How much is too much?

[snugglegirl05]

Strange story

My boyfriend called me yesterday to let me know that he had lost his cell phone. He called me this morning to let me know that his mutual female friend came over to his place last night after 9:30 p.m. to let him know the following.

• Some random guy called her on her cell phone around 9:20 p.m. to let her know that he had my boyfriend's cell phone
• She demanded the cell phone back & arranged for a place to meet
• But...the random guy told her the only way she would get the cell phone back was to give him $275.00
• She continued to try to contact him to get the cell phone back
• The male friend who violated her was made aware of the situation

She showed him the cell phone call from his cell phone to her cell phone at 9:20 p.m. on Sunday.

My boyfriend does not have her cell phone number in his landline phone's address book, & so he could not have called her to let her know that he lost his cell phone.

I asked him why would some random guy, who found his cell phone, would only call his mutual female friend & demand that she give him $275.00 when she demanded that he give the cell phone to her. He had many contacts in his cell phone's address book. He said "I do not know. I am hoping that he does not want anything else from her *like her male friend did*."

He told me he has to get a new cell phone. He had his cell phone number turned off.

I do not know what to make of this entire story.

[AnaKhouri]

The cynical part of me is thinking she wanted him to give her the money, which she would then 'exchange' for the phone. I bet he left his phone at her place and she is hard up for cash.

The reasonable part of me...thinks the same thing, actually. He needs to drop this chick like a bad habit.

[42_42_42]

I was drawing the same conclusions as AnaKhouri.

[Kristev]

This is not a situation he needs involved in anymore.

[Bella_Vixen]

Snuggs, I think *you* need to drop *him* like a bad habit. NOW.

[morgana]

Snuggs, I think *you* need to drop *him* like a bad habit. NOW.

I'm afraid I agree.

[Jester]

I think a lot of people here are drawing conclusions prematurely, telling the OP to drop her boyfriend.

By all accounts, he is a good guy trying to do a good thing, naive though it--and he--may be. And for this we advise that we kick him to the curb?

Look, if it comes out that he is in fact doing more than simply counseling this manipulative diva, I will agree with you. But as it stands, based simply on what has been written about him in this thread (which is really all we know about him), he is simply a guy who is a bit blind to how his attempts to help this (ridiculous, pathetic, manipulative) woman is negatively affecting his girlfriend.

I myself believe in the phrase "benefit of the doubt."

[Solumina]

I won't say drop him like a bad habit just yet but you can't give him a pass for putting up with this girl's crap to the detriment of his relationship with you. It seems like he is thinking that this situation is only something that he is dealing with and that he is the only one who is shouldering a burden here so he needs to know that this is causing you emotional strain and that him being tied up and emotionally drained from dealing with her means that he is emotionally unavailable for you.

If you make that clear to him and he still won't make you a priority then it may be time to think about ending the relationship.

[Mytical]

Have to echo Jester here. Give the guy a chance..be frank and honest with him, and see if he does the right thing.

[Seraph]

My two bits, and I'm going to get in trouble for this.

Yes, I'm vaguely heartless probably for thinking enough is enough. But if snuggle's tried talking to him about it, and he's STILL continuing down the path that is damaging their relationship....then I don't see a point in trying to work with it.

From what I've seen of things like this, trying to prolong the relationship with the bf, if you've talked to him already, and if he's STILL not cutting off ties with this chick.....then its not worth it. You're just going to end up being hurt worse in the end when it finally does implode, or you're going to get dragged into some drama that you won't want any part of.

As I've stated though, and will restate yet again, TALK TO HIM, if you haven't already. Its time for a serious talk that he needs to make a choice. Her, or you. You are supposed to be the most important thing to him, if he truly loves you. If he doesn't, then its time to move on.

[Jester]

I agree that the talk needs to happen, if it hasn't already.

But backing someone into a corner with an ultimatum is never a good idea, and nothing good can come of it.

[Seraph]

But backing someone into a corner with an ultimatum is never a good idea, and nothing good can come of it.

True, but mein gott, a lot of non-good is already happening.

I'm like a bull in a china shop when it comes to relationships, never been good with tiptoeing around issues. I'll flat out point at it and yell HEY WHAT ABOUT THIS ISSUE RIGHT HERE.

Le sigh.