More Relationship Crap

[42_42_42]

Listen to your Uncle Jester, he knows what he's talking about!

Seriously, Jester, you should write an advice column or something.

[ArcticChicken]

As usual, Jester has said what I want to say far more eloquently than I ever could.

[PhiSigGirl1988]

Jester should write a self-help and advice book.

[Jester]

Seriously, Jester, you should write an advice column or something.

I actually started one on this site a while back called The Honest Asshole. It did well for a while, then just petered out. But I wouldn't mind doing it again. I like to think I give good advice, if a bit brutal at times.

My niece even admitted recently that every single time I advised her about something, I was right. Damn, I'm good. If I do say so myself.

[blas]

I know it's hard, CRML, but you CAN'T think about her feelings. She doesn't care about yours.

If she's trying to be like my ex bf, who was made of pure double edged swords, you will mentally exhaust yourself to the point of insanity trying to figure out the "why" of everything they say or do.

As I said in another thread, people like that need to be left alone, so they can realize just how wrong and hurtful their behavior is.

And ya know what? Your real friends know that you are NOT a bad guy. Anyone who knows you, knows you're not a bad guy. Who gives a shit what a drama queen little bitchcake thinks of you?

I just got over dating someone that childish. Honestly, it is like....a euphoric moment jumping into a beautiful clear lake in the middle of July when you finally no longer have to think about that inconsiderate silent raging idiot's feelings anymore.

[crazylegs]

To put it a nutshell: fuck this bitch, fuck what she thinks, and fuck what she says.

This.

Exactly this. She's poison in your life & should be surgically removed immediately.

[customersruinmylife]

Thanks for the advice again. Especially Jester

I'm not going to acknowledge the birthday.

I know people say "Don't care what others think" but I believe that's easier said than done. It's taken me a long time, but I have come to the conclusion that I am not an asshole. I'm a nice person, and I don't like the thought of the possibility of someone bad mouthing me. We have a few mutual friends, all of them co-workers at my pub, and I just know for a fact that one particular co-worker is going to stick her nose in at some point this week.

Also feel the need to mention that she is throwing her birthday party tonight at my pub. Thank God I'm off!

[Jester]

I just know for a fact that one particular co-worker is going to stick her nose in at some point this week.

Coworker: "Hey, CRML, I heard that you didn't even call Bitchface on her birthday."

ORI

Coworker: "Hey, CRML, I heard that you blew Bitchface off. Not the nicest thing to do your girlfriend."

Or some variety of what you think is coming.

CRML: "Well, not that it's any of your business, but after she completely ignored me for two weeks and didn't even bother to check on how I was doing after I was violently assaulted, I realized I didn't need that shit in my life. As far as I'm concerned, that relationship is over, and I don't owe her anything. Next question."

You get my point. If someone does question you on this, or tried to call you out, or is snarky about it, make sure they know that it's your life, that Bitchface was a completely unfeeling bitch, and that whatever they heard was only her version of events. Oh, and that it's still not really any of their business.

Yes, it's often harder to practice "fuck what others think" than it is to say it, but sometimes it is absolutely necessary. This is one of those times.

[blas]

It's VERY hard to practice.

Oh trust me. I'm only able to say this AFTER I learned to do it.

It takes courage. But you can do it.

[Jester]

I agree with Blas. Even with my "fuck what other people think" attitude, which I've had for years, I still find myself wondering and sometimes even worrying about what other people think.

But I've also discovered that no matter what you do, there are going to be people who judge you negatively. It is impossible to please everyone, and to try to do so will merely cause more stress and more problems.

Does it matter what the people you care about and who you care about think about what you do? To a degree, yes. Not enough for it to control your every action, but enough for you to consider your actions with that in mind.

Does it matter what people who treat you badly and who you don't care about or have moved on from in your life think about what you do? Not one damn bit. Because, more often than not, these people will judge you harshly or make negative assumptions about you regardless of what action you take.

So while it IS easier to say than to do, it is still important to remember that what those outside of your circle of loved ones think doesn't make one bit of difference, and if you can train yourself to not give a flying fuck what they think, I honestly believe your life will be better for it.

Mine has.

[Dentarthurdent]

I actually started one on this site a while back called The Honest Asshole. It did well for a while, then just petered out. But I wouldn't mind doing it again.

*Scruffy voice* SECOND!!

CRML, I'm glad this bitch is out of your life. You deserve better.

[Caffienated_Caramel]

Good on you CRML, I'd like to hear the aftermath ^^ happy endings are awesome