The 28 year old virgin

[Andara Bledin]

Another option would be a female condom for those whose guys actually wilt when jacketed.

I've never used one or even seen one, so I don't have any further info.

^-.-^

[ShinyGreenApple]

Oh I've seen a female condom, we had to take a required AIDS/STD awareness course when I was taking CNA classes. Female condoms are about as sexy as finding Grandma's denture's by the bathroom sink, and make as much noise as a plastic shopping bag. I can just imagine

*crinkle*

" . . . The fuck?!"

So yeah. Probably a worse moodkiller than a male condom could be in its wildest dreams. Pretty much he's gonna have to either wrap it or wait until I've been on the pill for a while and submits to testing. Otherwise if he can't enjoy just fooling around, he'll have to find a new friend to play with.

[Shpepper]

Even with the pill, it is not foolproof and so for actual intercourse, you would be safer using dual methods of protection. If you totally want to avoid the chance of babies appearing at some point, it is better to be safe than to be sorry. With the spermacide that is on condoms and the pill for you, you will be so so much safer. The only other option I could suggest is using the pill and Vaginal contraceptive film at the same time. http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-contr...raceptive-film This is of course after both parties have been tested for all forms of STD's and make the agreement that if either one decides that they are going to share benefits with someone else, condoms will be used and testing will take place again to ensure the health of all parties involved.

[ShinyGreenApple]

A tubal ligation would be the most foolproof thing, but I'm not sure I see that in my budget right now. Maybe after tax returns? And yes, I know it's permanent and I'm very sure.

[smileyeagle1021]

Sometimes your body just decides it's not going to happen. Exceedingly frustrating, but as far as I know it just falls out like that sometimes. Been there, done that, everything worked fine next session, so I never worried about it. For all I know, I was stressed about something unrelated and it gummed up the works, so to speak.

^-.-^

Ditto. It's nothing to be ashamed of, as amazing as the conscious mind is, it is still dwarfed by the unconscious mind and biology. You can be having the most amazingly intimate "adult conversation" (God how I love that euphemism) ever, and if your body isn't ready for it, it isn't ready, not much you can do. Flip side is true also, if your body is ready for it and it's ready for it now, having your pants shift in just the right way will set you off (I so wish I wasn't speaking from experience on that one... that was probably TMI), it's simple evolution, when we evolved to procreate by bumping nasties, we were still cave dwellers who did nothing but hunt, eat, sleep, and have sex... such problems as "no, the subway is not the right place for this" didn't come along until much later.

How's about if he just wears it for actual intercourse but I finish him off some other way? And I do realize how un-sexy the things are, but unwanted pregnancies are even more of a moodkiller

And for the record, he's only 22. The few times I've been with him, only one thing made the erection "go away" ... LOL

Not to mention, even if pregnancy isn't a problem, which for him, it strictly speaking isn't, an STD (not accusing you of having one, but unless he's seen your medical record, he can't know that for certain) is quite a buzzkill also. Frankly, I like my manhood being unblemished, and I intend to keep it that way. Young and stupid indeed.
And the whole, condoms make him lose his hard on bit, there are condoms with built in cock rings, and those things will make sure he stays hard... so go ahead and call his bluff if he brings it up (I don't know if there is a pun in there or not).

. Otherwise if he can't enjoy just fooling around, he'll have to find a new friend to play with.

I'd say it is probably in your best interest to tell him to just find a new friend anyway. Sex is great and fun and amazing and all, but clearly he doesn't have much respect for you if he refuses to wear a condom and he's point blank told you that for him it will be meaningless, and my :twocents: it's the love and intimacy that makes sex fun, not the rubbing.

[Jester]

And the whole, condoms make him lose his hard on bit, there are condoms with built in cock rings...

Wait, what?

Seriously? I've never seen or heard of these things. I know I may be coming off like an ignorant rube, but seriously?!?

[smileyeagle1021]

Wait, what?

Seriously? I've never seen or heard of these things. I know I may be coming off like an ignorant rube, but seriously?!?

There is a place up in Ogden Utah, that at least used to sell condoms with cock rings as part of them... it may just be a local thing though, and it may not even exist anymore, I remember they were fairly expensive... but I know that at least at one point they existed.

ETA- I did a quick google search (definitely clearing my history after today) and I can't find them anymore... but I did find page after page of cockrings designed specifically for the purpose of being used with a condom.

[depechemodefan]

Unfortunate for me, I ran out of bc and when I went to the doctor for something else I asked for a new script, and would I need a pelvic exam? Yes, I needed a pelvic exam even though the last one was maybe 6 months ago.

My ex-bf wanted to be f-buddies. Fine with it until he wilted when he had to put on a condom. Then latter on, when we were in bed falling asleep he climbed on top of me w/o condom. I should have kicked him out but I was horney at the time. Then I tell him a week latter I don't want to have sex with him anymore and he said he promise he will wear a condom, he just bought Viagra.

[ShinyGreenApple]

I'd say it is probably in your best interest to tell him to just find a new friend anyway. Sex is great and fun and amazing and all, but clearly he doesn't have much respect for you if he refuses to wear a condom and he's point blank told you that for him it will be meaningless, and my :twocents: it's the love and intimacy that makes sex fun, not the rubbing.

I really think you speak the truth. All my friends who were aware of what's been going on are telling me in no uncertain terms "RUN!" Even the ones who don't know about the condom thing. My friend, Needy, who is bi-polar and has a plethora of other mental/emotional issues herself, thinks he's screwy in the head and needs to be medicated and get a good therapist. Another of my pharmacy buddies says he's scary, and that's only from what she's observed from his FB comments. Close online friends from another forum say to run and one thinks he may be intentionally trying to knock me up.

Fortunately I haven't received any dirty messages in over a week now, which is unusual, but good, in this case. Maybe he was pissed off I wouldn't let him go bareback. Or he's already gotten bored. Either way, this ain't gonna work. Sex is fun, but I really want someone that doesn't mind being seen with me in public.

[Shpepper]

^ Good for you. You deserve to have someone who is proud to be your friend and be seen in public with you. You do not have to be in a relationship, or dating or anything like that. But the term friends with benefits does have one important distinction. The word FRIENDS. and friends are not embarrassed to go out with their friends. You do deserve way better than that. And now, you can look at it and say, well, the first experiment is over and I did fine with that so on to the rest of my life.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Yep, it was an interesting and fun experience, and I still can say I don't regret it. I only wish it could have been more. And I am gonna miss that mouth of his, he's really fun to make out with

Oh and my friend Biscuit . . . yeah, he's definitely very gay. Teddy is NOT his brother. Brothers don't post Facebook statuses about laying in bed with each other and how fine and buff the other is. That's a whole 'nother can of worms. Why in the hell would he tell me that his boyfriend is his brother?! He knew I was interested in him, why not come clean about that? Asshole. And now I feel like such an idiot for all the times the three of us went out and I'd sit with B while Ted sat across from us, or I felt him up in the club, or slept in bed with him while Ted slept by himself or even in another room. What the fuck . . .

I can at least say Mr. Casual Sex Geek helped me get over that

[Jester]

I really want someone that doesn't mind being seen with me in public.

It's one thing to not want a sexual relationship to become public. There are many valid reasons why people desire that.

But to not want to be seen in public with you? Completely unacceptable for a spouse, for a partner, for a boyfriend, for a friend with benefits, for a friend, or even for a friendly acquaintance. It's a great big pile of steaming horseshit, if you ask me.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Well I mean he'll talk to me at work and stuff, but prime example - I was clocking out for lunch with a friend, and so was he. He said he was walking to Taco Bell and I was like "Really? Seriously? I have my truck, I can take you."

"Haha, no."

Dick.

Last night he threw a Starburst candy at me

[Jester]

You're right. He's a dick. And clearly not worth your time or trouble.

[ShinyGreenApple]

Oh no, I learned my lesson about chasing from Biscuit. I figure if you have to chase after someone, they don't really have any interest in being with you and aren't worth the effort at all. Mr. Geek Sith Lord type person doesn't really initiate contact anymore. I guess I was just another challenge to overcome, or he ran for other reasons. It really doesn't matter now. I still have no regrets, like I always say, it's better to say "Oh well, that happened. Didn't work out" than to wonder forever what might have been. I'm not sick or pregnant, so no permanent harm done.

But really, the thing with Biscuit and Tedd is bothering me a whole lot more than no condoms guy. Guys will play women for the fool and then push condom boundaries all the time. But passing off your sexual/romantic partner as a family member? I'm sorry but this is unheard of and all kinds of disturbing. He had half the store thinking Ted was his brother, and those of us who have Ted on FB got seriously concerned that he had very inappropriate feelings for his younger brother. Why not introduce him as a friend or roommate? I feel like a complete and total fool, as well as an ass. I've been asking out, hitting on, sleeping with, feeling up, and smacking the ass of some guy's boyfriend while he was standing RIGHT THERE for two years. I love Teddy to death, and when I realized what's been going on, I feel like shit. I would never do anything to hurt him. Biscuit is dead to me as far as I'm concerned. Fucked in the head doesn't even begin to cover this.