*Kit needs hugs*

[Kit-Ginevra]

Afraid the depression has crashed in again.Damn dream I had last night didn't help.-it's the one I get a lot now.Was off at high school in America and was having a whale of a time-we were all cheering along,had lots of friends,all the girls loved me.And I was happy.Now I've woken up and I'm not happy.
I would have loved to have all that at school and done it all,but it was rather a lonely place for me.And still I've been looking for the friends and girlfriends that might have come along and they haven't.I would love to do the whole high school/prom/cheerleader thing,but I'm 35 now and far too old for it I guess unless anybody knows any possible way to do it?
Just wish my dreams could be my life.I'm happy there.

[ArcticChicken]

I'm sorry, that really sucks.

I know it's not exactly the same thing, but I bet there are adult chearleading exercise programmes. In fact, I found this website. I have no idea where you are, or they are, as a matter of fact, but they do have DVDs. There's probably something nearby as well.

You posted this in life advice, are you up for some well meaning advice?

[Kit-Ginevra]

I'm always happy to listen to advice if you think you can help

[Javarod]

Hmmmm -=turns into a cattaur* and taur hugs you**=- I rather know what you're going threw being manic m'self and off my meds for years, along with being an introvert, the down side is never good.


*
Think centaur but catman and cat body
**
Two arms and two leg hug, purrs optional

[ArcticChicken]

I'm always happy to listen to advice if you think you can help

Please forgive me if your already doing this, or for whatever reason this doesn't apply to you.

Six months ago I signed up for kickboxing classes, and, for me, exercise has been the magic bullet against my depression. It doesn't make the bad days much better, but it does make them fewer and further between, and it makes the in between days amazingly better.

I credit exercise with giving me the motivation on the in between days to take steps to make my life better. From little things like giving me the courage to cut off all of my hair, to bigger things like taking steps to move out of my Aunt's house and in with my boyfriend.

Basically, exercise has given me the strength to take the situational depression out of the equation, so I can work on dealing with the actual problems I have.

What I'm trying to say is, go be a cheerleader. Even if it's expensive. If you're not already getting regular exercise, do whatever it takes to get out up and moving.

[fireheart]

Even if not cheerleading, have a look around for an adult dance class. There are quite a number of them out there and they are catered towards beginners. Otherwise, you could also look at circus skills, which includes acrobatics.

Definitely give it a shot.

[Kheldarson]

First of all :hugs: High school sucked for a lot of us. And life keeps going on. It gets better, if you let it.

I would love to do the whole high school/prom/cheerleader thing,but I'm 35 now and far too old for it I guess unless anybody knows any possible way to do it?

As to prom, maybe see if anybody in your area does a "second chance" prom? A station in VA does one, which I always thought was neat.

[Seshat]

Social ballroom dance; find a place with both classes and social nights. Every so often, such clubs will often do a special dress-up night, but ballroom dance is great for making you feel pretty.

And yes, for many cases of depression, regular exercise boosts the 'happy chemicals' and lifts the depression.
(This is not a replacement for seeking medical help, of course!)

[AnaKhouri]

I've never had depression like that so I can't really understand what you are going through, but here's why I think I am a happy person: I feel that what's over is over and there's more to think about in the present than in the past. Regrets help no one. Let it go. Like I said, that's probably harder with depression, I don't really know. But you have some great suggestions here; exercise (for sure! It sucks doing it but you feel so much better afterward), dance classes, second chance proms.

I'm sorry you had a bad high school experience. But I am your age and high school was a longt time ago. Instead of concentrating on what you didn't have then, look at what you don't have now and come up with a plan to get the life you want. Focus on what's happening now and what steps you need to take to improve your quality of life, then take them. They might be baby steps but as long as you're moving forward, who cares?

Good luck!

[Seshat]

Depression can encourage such thoughts as 'it's too late' or 'I can't ever do this' - it's very good at encouraging absolutes, especially the kind of absolute that makes something good seem impossible.

One habit of thought that can help derail a depression-train-of-thought is this: whenever you notice yourself thinking in absolutes, reframe the thought in a non-absolute way.

Instead of 'I can't ever do X', try 'I don't know how to do X right now'.
Instead of 'never', use 'rarely'.
Instead of 'always', use 'often'.

This is one of the 'physiotherapy of the mind' exercises. When our brains repeat a particular train of thought again and again, it forms a kind of .. well, a high speed rail line. By making ourselves think in a different way, we create a branch line: a possible new path for the thought to take. Repeatedly thinking it makes the branch stronger and stronger, and eventually the deliberately-chosen thought can become the stronger path, and the one more often taken.

How much work this will take depends on how strong the thought we want to change is; but I've managed to change a LOT of unhelpful or even damaging thoughts, using this technique.

[Mytical]

*hugs* Heck you ever find your way to Ohio.. I'll rent a hall and make it a prom night for you. Might only be two people there, and a few balloons and some canned music, but look at it this way, not crowded at least. We will dance.. I'll get a corsage and everything. Know it is not much of an offer, and the chance of you coming to Ohio are slim, but the offer is there.