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I'm getting married in August. By the time we get married, Fiance and I will have been together for almost 4 years and lived together for 3. I see getting married as a formality at this point since we've been through a LOT together and we're both very committed to making our relationship work. He is excited about getting married but generally sees our situation the way I do.
We are doing a courthouse ceremony because we are about to be very broke (I'm quitting my job to go to school) and his dad is in poor health so we don't want to wait until we're not broke and miss out on his dad being there. We'd made basic plans (justice of the peace followed by dinner) even before we got engaged. If we had any doubts about not doing a big formal thing, they were completely erased after we were both in The Wedding from Hell (starring passive agressive Bridezilla) and after attending several other recent weddings.
My parents recently offered us some money for our wedding. We thought it was a good idea at the time. Now my mom is doing her best to hijack my wedding plans. She wanted to know if we liked the invitations she picked out, even after I told her that Fiance was designing some since he really wanted to be involved and make something cool. She asked what I was going to do about flowers and started describing different bouquets I could try. I'm not doing anything about flowers, because I think it would be a tad ridiculous to stand with a bouquet in some dude's office. She asked what I was planning on wearing, and when I sent her a link to a really cute blue dress that I would get a lot of use out of, she asked why I wasn't wearing white, even though I had mentioned I have NO interest in wearing white. She wants to know where I am planning on registering, even though Fiance and I think it would be pretty tacky to register somewhere since only our parents and siblings will be attending.
These might sound like minor things, but Fiance and I aren't "settling" for a courthouse wedding when we really want a 300 person wedding with a dress that weighs more than me and a huge cathedral and guests in black tie. Fiance and I were VERY happy with our plans to have a so small it's almost microscopic wedding and I'm really starting to resent my mother's meddling. I've tried to be nice, since I figure it's a mother daughter thing, but I have a younger sister who hasn't been married yet and likes pomp and circumstance. My mom has said she doesn't want me to regret my wedding; I told her we are looking forward to doing our wedding our own way and excited about our simple plans. That didn't help much.
How do I get my mom to stop trying to make my wedding into what she wants without hurting her? I've been fairly direct about our wishes (Mom, we want to get married in the courthouse. We are excited about the opportunity to have an intimate ceremony.) and she's still going on about this, that, and the other. I know she gets some say since she's giving us money (which will mostly be going towards a much nicer dinner than we had planned) but I feel like if I told her "You're annoying. I'm not going to take your money so you have to shut up." it would only cause more problems. I know she thinks she is doing the right thing, because what woman doesn't want x, y or z?
We are doing a courthouse ceremony because we are about to be very broke (I'm quitting my job to go to school) and his dad is in poor health so we don't want to wait until we're not broke and miss out on his dad being there. We'd made basic plans (justice of the peace followed by dinner) even before we got engaged. If we had any doubts about not doing a big formal thing, they were completely erased after we were both in The Wedding from Hell (starring passive agressive Bridezilla) and after attending several other recent weddings.
My parents recently offered us some money for our wedding. We thought it was a good idea at the time. Now my mom is doing her best to hijack my wedding plans. She wanted to know if we liked the invitations she picked out, even after I told her that Fiance was designing some since he really wanted to be involved and make something cool. She asked what I was going to do about flowers and started describing different bouquets I could try. I'm not doing anything about flowers, because I think it would be a tad ridiculous to stand with a bouquet in some dude's office. She asked what I was planning on wearing, and when I sent her a link to a really cute blue dress that I would get a lot of use out of, she asked why I wasn't wearing white, even though I had mentioned I have NO interest in wearing white. She wants to know where I am planning on registering, even though Fiance and I think it would be pretty tacky to register somewhere since only our parents and siblings will be attending.
These might sound like minor things, but Fiance and I aren't "settling" for a courthouse wedding when we really want a 300 person wedding with a dress that weighs more than me and a huge cathedral and guests in black tie. Fiance and I were VERY happy with our plans to have a so small it's almost microscopic wedding and I'm really starting to resent my mother's meddling. I've tried to be nice, since I figure it's a mother daughter thing, but I have a younger sister who hasn't been married yet and likes pomp and circumstance. My mom has said she doesn't want me to regret my wedding; I told her we are looking forward to doing our wedding our own way and excited about our simple plans. That didn't help much.
How do I get my mom to stop trying to make my wedding into what she wants without hurting her? I've been fairly direct about our wishes (Mom, we want to get married in the courthouse. We are excited about the opportunity to have an intimate ceremony.) and she's still going on about this, that, and the other. I know she gets some say since she's giving us money (which will mostly be going towards a much nicer dinner than we had planned) but I feel like if I told her "You're annoying. I'm not going to take your money so you have to shut up." it would only cause more problems. I know she thinks she is doing the right thing, because what woman doesn't want x, y or z?
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