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  • Help me help me

    I don't even care if I die anymore. I hate work. I hate the neighbor and his stereo. I can't take any more of this. I have nobody. I have nobody to talk to. I can only cry and scream. I can't calm down.

  • #2
    If you go back and read my post, I think it was two days ago, I also was miserable saying how much I hated my work and was dreading going in.

    Out of the blue today, I got an email asking me to go to an interview for a completely unrelated but more fun work role.

    Things can happen when you least expect them. I do know how it is though, and can only offer virtual cookies and hot chocolate.
    Customer "why did you answer the phone if you can't help me?"

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    • #3
      Plenty of people here to talk to and listen.

      Is it just the neighbour?

      Rapscallion

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      • #4
        I sent you a PM earlier before teacher called me off.

        I'm open. Phone near.

        Please talk soon.
        Military Spouse Support.
        http://www.customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=45
        Plaidman's Minions: Telecom_Goddess: Dungeon Minion

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        • #5
          It's everything. I hate work, and I can't even relax when I come home, because of the stereo. And he knows I can hear the stereo, so it's not as if he has an excuse. After my mother left, I wondered if everything would just come crashing down on me. Now it has.

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          • #6
            Can you go out of an evening to avoid it for a while?

            Are there laws about nuisance noise?

            Rapscallion

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            • #7
              I'm not in a mood, these days, to go out. I'm tired, and I've been sleeping, but I can't get any sleep or relaxation when he cranks it up. The only noise law is that you can't make more than a certain amount of noise between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m., and the little bastard next door is well aware of it. I went over there a few weeks ago and screamed at him for turning up the noise, and I just got a blank look and a mention of the nighttime quiet law.

              In other words, he's going to play it as loudly as he wants to during the day, because he knows it's not illegal, and he couldn't care less if it bothers me or disrupts my life.

              I did call a friend last night, and he talked to me for about half an hour, then got on chat about an hour or so later for more conversation. He's a sweetheart, and he asked me if he could give my phone number to his boyfriend, so we can meet up (my friend is going on vacation soon, and his boyfriend will remain here). I have a feeling that his boyfriend has been assigned - or has taken on voluntarily - Eireann Babysitting Duty. My friend probably wants his boyfriend to keep an eye on me.

              My friend listened to me ranting about work and about the neighbor and about life in general. He had a bad time a few years ago, and he's told me about it, so he does understand, though fortunately for him, nobody in his life has died.

              Me? Five deaths since the beginning of 2008.

              Not to mention the past years, when Mom was gradually slipping away from us, and nothing we could do.

              She held the whole family together. I don't know what we're going to do now.

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              • #8
                Good - you've got contact other than on the board. We're decent people, but there's a big difference between a screen and direct human contact.

                Something you may have to consider is about the roles filled by your mother. Are those roles still necessary? (It's a hard thing to say that something is no longer needed). Who is going to do them? Is it possible to share this out? Doing some yourself - is that something that would give you some goals?

                Bugger - was hoping that there'd be some chance of legal recourse.

                Rapscallion

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                • #9
                  I don't see anyone else filling Mom's role. I know my siblings well enough for that.

                  I was hoping there would be legal recourse, too. But it doesn't look that way. I am looking into the possibility of slapping a lawsuit against the "management" of the place where I work for creating a hostile work environment. I don't know if such a thing exists in this country; lawsuits aren't very common. I need to talk to someone in the know.

                  And I need a source of income. I can't concentrate well enough to work, yet I need the income.

                  Oh, goody. The dog upstairs is yapping its little doggy head off. Just one more thing I need to break the peace.

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                  • #10
                    On the practical side, laptop and coffee shop & Wifi?

                    Any chance of doing any soundproofing?

                    I honestly don't know what you've tried and what's possible.

                    Yappy dog - may be worth asking about the tenancy agreement regarding pets.

                    Hostile work environment - most places with that legislation are aimed at employers. From what I understand, the landlord won't be employing you and you're working from home, right? I have doubts that this would be effective, but you never know.

                    Anyone else got suggestions?

                    Rapscallion

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                    • #11
                      There are WiFi places all over town, but I don't have a laptop that's compatible (mine is OLD).

                      This is how the living situation is. I live in a row house. The landlord and landlady live upstairs. They own the house. The people next door own their house (these are the people with the lovely, caring, considerate son who simply can't bear to keep his music all to himself, and must share it with everyone on the street). The yappy dog belongs to the owners of the house.

                      In all fairness, I haven't mentioned the noise upstairs to the owners. I don't know if they realize that I can hear them walking around up there, and their children running, at a greatly increased volume, given the way noise works in such cases. I also haven't mentioned the dog barking. I did complain, more than once, about the neighbor and his stereo, and my landlord talked to his father, but his father is, evidently, completely ineffective as a parent. His son won't listen to him, and the father won't take the step of just taking away the stereo.

                      Now, the neighbors are doing construction work on their house. It looks to me that they're doing an attic conversion. My sincere hope is that they'll stick the little bastard and his stereo up there. I saw them using styrofoam blocks, which is good for insulation AND good for soundproofing. I don't know what will happen, but my hope is that a certain teenager will be put in a soundproof environment.

                      As for the situation at work, I often work in an office belonging to the company, but I do have the option of working from home. They'd be in a bad position if I left - and one of the managers, who really is sweet and thoughtful, not to mention a good manager in general, agreed with me when I discussed it with her. I didn't tell her that I was leaving; I told her that I might have to leave, due to the increasingly bad conditions at the company. She was both surprised (since I've been there for some time) and sympathetic.

                      This is such a mess.

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                      • #12
                        Its not much, and I don't know if anyone suggested it, but what about just wearing an MP3 player while youre at home with relaxing music (white noise, the sound of rain, crickets chirping, etc). I have "rain" playing in my house ALL the time and its really, really relaxing. It doesn't solve the problems you're having, but it'll at least put a bandaid on them.

                        Also, there are daytime disturbance laws. At least here there are. Its something like, if you're disturbing enough people regularly you become a neighborhood nuisance. If you live in an apartment complex you could ask to be moved to another unit, maybe?

                        edit: you posted while i was typing. Is there a Homeowners Association in your neighborhood? They control things like daytime noise and construction. I know in my set of condos we're not even aloud to be very loud during the day. Its not ridiculous, but things like playing a loud stereo all the time aren't permitted. Also, call the city and see if they have the permits to do that construction. (i don't know what country you're in so I dont know if any of this applies :\)
                        Last edited by Whiskey; 06-22-2010, 02:30 PM.
                        Thou shalt not take the name of thy goddess Whiskey in vain.

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                        • #13
                          I really wish I could use all these suggestions; I feel like such a spoilsport for not doing it.

                          I rent a place in a house that's part of a row of houses. Hence, the neighbor is directly on the other side of the wall. I can hear his stereo even when the volume is at an acceptable level. I don't like it, but if the level isn't bad, I won't complain. It's nobody's fault, not even his, that the houses are built this way. There's no such thing as an HOA here, and no law against daytime disturbance. I've had the police called twice, but no luck; all that they can do is report that a complaint has been made. That's all.

                          I tried listening to a relaxation CD on my player, in my bedroom, which does not adjoin the house with the stereo, one day when he had the stereo up full-blast. I could hear it even in there!

                          I'm all in favor of the construction, if it means they're making a place for him to play his stereo where nobody can hear it. I can hear hammering going on right now, but it doesn't bother me, because I know it's coming from a group of people doing their work, and not from a spoiled rotten entitlement whore who knows his music is driving me crazy, and turns it up anyway.

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                          • #14
                            You know... there is this great invention called earphones. Why can't that kid put a set onto his stereo to listen to music as loud as he wants?
                            Make a list of important things to do today.
                            At the top of your list, put 'eat chocolate'
                            Now, you'll get at least one thing done today

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                            • #15
                              When my neighbours play loud music or there is an outdoor concert close by (which there usually is Friday or Saturday in the summer, sometimes both days), my defences are first of all earplugs, they will bring the noise down to where I can live with it. Secondly I put Bob Marley on the stereo, the beat will fit the bass that filter through the earplugs, even if there is a rave close by .
                              Are there a place, with a friend or some family, where you could go and get a little peace? Sometimes an hour or two of good company and quiet can help you relax when you are home in the noise again.

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