"Act like an adult!" How??

[CaptainJaneway]

I would like to add if possible schedule the move when you know she will be out of the house for several hours. This way you do not have to have her underfoot driving you crazy.

Also if you can start prepping for your move by packing stuff up all the small stuff first. This way you can start sneaking it out little by little to the new place. So this way you won't have too much to move other that furniture.

[ShadowBall]

Aww, I'm glad to hear you're making a daring escape, Treasure. I am envious. Not in a bad way, but more in a "Glad you're getting out; I wish I could follow suit" kind of way. And hooray for needing no co-signers either!

And honestly, yes, I personally have given up hope. It's only because I have tried and tried for years to change my life, fueling my desires with the tiniest shred of hope. Only to have it all come crashing back down. You can only keep your head up so much when you deal with such shit day in and day out for years on end. I firmly believe my hope has been destroyed, which is why I am content to roll over and let the other person win. It'll just hurt me more in the end to fight for nothing (and possibly be verbally abused) when compared to just bending over and taking it.

Maybe someday I will regain the hope I once had, but that day will not be for a long while. I may do what many other messed-up people do: write a book about my life . About 85 percent of the readers would roll their eyes and talk about what a spineless wimp I am while the other 15 percent would say they could relate.

[Jester]

I wish I could follow suit

I personally have given up hope.

I firmly believe my hope has been destroyed, which is why I am content to roll over and let the other person win.

It'll just hurt me more in the end to fight for nothing (and possibly be verbally abused) when compared to just bending over and taking it.

"You get what you settle for." --Louise Sawyer, "Thelma and Louise"

[Seshat]

And honestly, yes, I personally have given up hope. It's only because I have tried and tried for years to change my life, fueling my desires with the tiniest shred of hope. Only to have it all come crashing back down. You can only keep your head up so much when you deal with such shit day in and day out for years on end.

"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you ain't never gonna keep me down"

I tell that to my illness sometimes. Yes, there are days, weeks, months, sometimes it's been years, when the illness has knocked me right down. I've been in depressions and physical agony simultaneously on a level most people can never imagine. Etc, etc, etc - my exact situation isn't critical for what I'm trying to say.

My situation is impossible to escape. Literally. The only escape is death.

Yours is.

I do believe you when you say it's always come crashing down in the past - but perhaps you were reaching too high.

Aim for a poor lifestyle, without contact with your abuser. Yes, this probably means minimum wage, which if you're in the US, is going to mean a major struggle.

There are many people here who can give you good advice on getting by on minimum wage, however. And ways to cope.

Also, once you've left, get in touch with support agencies. If you're religious, go to a local church/mosque/synagogue/temple. If you're not, contact Lifeline or the Salvos (I know they're religious organisations) or check the front of the phone book for 'help' organisations.

I won't sugar coat this. It will be HARD. It may be the toughest thing you've ever done in your life, and it may be the toughest thing you'll ever have to do in your life.

But it's this, or wait for him/her to die.

[Jester]

If you're religious, go to a local church/mosque/synagogue/temple.

It is worth noting that a lot of religious organizations and groups will provide support to people regardless of religious affiliation or beliefs. I am not a religious guy, but there are some faith-based organizations out there that do good work to help people, and at worst may try to swing you to their view point, at best will just try to help.