Relationship Advice - may be a bit long

[Becks]

A photo was tagged online of me and the two CWs, and she was offended that one of them had put their arm around me (in the buddy-like pose)

O...kay.

She's got more issues than Reader's Digest.

You're far more patient with her than I would be.

[Seraph]

A photo was tagged online of me and the two CWs, and she was offended that one of them had put their arm around me (in the buddy-like pose)

/spittake

...say what? Oh that's just...well that's just insanity.

How did the meetup go?

Also, that's freaking awesome that you say that about your friends. A loyal friend like you is tough to find, they are very lucky that they have you, and vice versa. =)

[Canarr]

As a latecomer to this session, let me still add my voice: don't give in to her demands. Doing what she wants in this case will lead you down a bad path. Keep your own head on your shoulder, and make your own decisions about your life.

[customersruinmylife]

Well, we've seen each other a few times over the weekend and this week, and I have decided that the best option is to be brutally honest. I told her that at the end of the day, I am my own person, and I have my own life. I said in the original post that I would never cancel on her, or ditch her for friends, and I still maintain that. The trip to visit the CWs has been organised espeically around her, so what's the problem?

Well, I may have got to the bottom of it. She is worried, because the three of us together are "too good looking"

I can actually comfortably say that the two CWs are two good looking guys. Girlfriend is worried that me going out with two single, good looking men will make me want to look at other girls. Now I could maybe slightly understand that, but she kept making a point of saying "I don't know them, I don't trust them, and on a night out, two single men like them will attract girls, and you will be around them."

I pointed out that it was her own fault that she didn't know the CWs, as she has had plenty of opportunity to get to know them. In all the times that I have been out with them, I don't even think the subject of girls has even been brought up that much! Just normal banter. I said before, we always end up having some sort of debate, rather than going to a club or anything.

This seems to have silenced her a little bit. But there is still resentment from her. She scoffed when I recieved a text message from one of them earlier.

[MaggieTheCat]

Okay, so she doesn't trust you...at all. She might not have said it in so many words, but her fear of you hooking up with some random chick that your buddies might attract is a very clear lack of trust. Do you want to be with someone who doesn't trust you? Does she even have a reason not to trust you? I'm assuming you've never cheated on her (or anyone else that she knows of), but I guess if there has been some incident in the past, it's a little more understandable.

It sounds like she might have some lack of self confidence issues. Her lack of trust might mean that she's afraid she's not good enough and is going to lose you to someone else. This is just a guess, obviously I don't know her, but that could be at least part of the issue here.

[Becks]

Yeah...if I were you, I wouldn't be with her anymore.

Issues.

[Emerald Knight]

You need to call this girl out on these things. Tell her that her reasons sound petty or surreal to you, tell her what you've told us here.

A healthy relationship is built on trust. She is not willing to extend enough to you for your relationship to be healthy.

On a personal note, about a month after I started dating my bf, I told him I did some research and found a London-based Furry community was holding a Christmas party. I have an ex who is a furry, but he had also done a lot for me and was starting a new job (we met where I work now), so I thought I'd take him there as a present. Did my boyfriend start some kind of jealous fit? Nope, he said that he thought that was a great combination present and told me to have fun.

You need to sit her down and talk to her about this, and how it's affecting you. If she doesn't take what you're saying to heart, leave her before she starts taking over your life.

[morgana]

This chick doesn't have issues; she has whole subscriptions. If you have to make a choice, I'd say dump the chick and keep the friends.

Good luck, dude. I think you're gonna need it.

[customersruinmylife]

Well, I think that's it over with now I'm ok, just sad that it ended the way it did.

Last night was the "dreaded" visit to the CW's. I know she wasn't happy, but I wasn't going to give in. She was working all weekend anyway, so we weren't going to see each other.

So I get to the CWs, we're having beer and pizza, and I am getting constant texts. And I mean constant. She wanted to know exactly who I was talking to and what I was talking about. That was irritating.

The three of us are out for the whole night. We are in a club and it's 2am. It is a very, very busy club. The three of us literally had to hold on to each other so none of us would get lost in the crowd. I decide this is the best time to say goodnight to GF, as she is working in the morning, it's 2am, and I don't feel comfortable having my phone out in an extremelly crowded and strange inner city club. I get no reply.

The night ends, I get back to CW's flat, and I fall asleep pretty much the second I hit the couch. I wake up eight hours later and send her a text.

"Oh! So you have remembered I actually exist then!?"

She is furious because I updated facebook on my way home. How dare I find the time to update facebook rather than text her (exact words) I didn't text her because: 1) I had said goodnight and 2) It was 4am at this point. I just told her that I wasn't going to speak to her for that.

I headed for the train home, I get to the station, and I find myself struggling to board my train. It suddenly dawns on me that I don't want to go home. And that's when I decided it was time to end things.

[shadowpanda]

A relationship ending is never easy, even if you know in your head and heart it is for the best. From what I have read, I really think you have made the best decision.

We are here if you want to talk x

[morgana]

We are here if you want to talk x

Yes, we are. I'm sorry for your pain, but it sounds like you've made the best decision for your own mental health.

Unfortunately, I'm sure there is drama yet to come before this is completely over. Let us know how it goes.

[blas]

Just remember, you're too old for a babysitter and she's not your mother that you need to check in with.

It's just a hunch, but people who do things like that seem to me to wreak of insecurity. Oftentimes over things they should not be insecure about.

Why people go and ruin perfectly good things with their insecurities is beyond me.

[PhiSigGirl1988]

Sorry it had to end that way However, from what you told us about the situation, it seems like it's for the best. Good luck with the upcoming storm. Keep us posted.

[dragon_wings]

It never fun ending a relationship, even of ending it is what was necessary.

[Beckpatton]

I know I'm late to the whole conversation, and I'm sorry that you are going through this. But from what you have said it sounds like you have made the right decision to end the relationship! It just didn't sound healthy.

She obviously has trust issues and unless you gave her a reason not to trust you in the past which it sounds like you didn't, she is being unreasonable taking those issues out on you. Maybe this break up will make her see that she needs to work on herself and find out where those issues came from.

In the end you're probably both better off! It hurts now but hindsight is 20/20 and down the track hopefully you will see it was the only way to go!