SC Fest (long)

[PaperKitty]

Today was the first day of JazzFest .. which is a pretty big deal.
so there was a line going out of the door almost all day .. there was only two of us working.
There were a lot of crap heads come through .. but these .. oh god.. i feel stabby.

lil' ol' lady & the Butter Woman
This woman can not stop asking questions ..
every single thing out of her mouth is a question .. seriously.

Well, we stopped giving out dishes because we had enough dishes to do already and with only two people, it was backing up. Well, she nearly had a heartattack because of this..

LOL(lil ol' lady)
Me(Barista Extrodinare, weekend warrior)
CoWo(coworker.. bad temper, never says anything though)

LOL: Can I have a plate or something?
Me: Unfortunatly we aren't using plates because of the influx of customers and us only having two hands a piece.
LOL: but I have a muffin! I need a plate to eat my muffin! what should I eat on?
Me: Would you like some wax paper or a strofoam container?
LOL: No! I must have a plate! Can I have a plate?
Me: I can give you a basket & some wax paper. (we have plastic sandwich baskets.. we use those when people get bitchy)
LOL: Ok. Do you have butter?
Me: **I point to the counter**


LOL proceeds to take the entire butter dish and bring it to her table
We decided not to say anything unless someone else asks for it.
she brings it back with no butter in it .. she managed to use an entire stick of butter on a muffin .. and didn't tell us it was empty.
Well another woman walks up to use the butter and it was of course empty, since butter doesn't replenish itself.
ButterWoman: Excuse me .. you have no butter. I need butter.
CoWorker: Let me fill that for you then.
BW: *huffpuff* ..she is rolling her eyes and pouting at the counter..
BW: how much longer .. ((NOTE its been like 10 frickin seconds))
CoWo: I need to clean the dish and replace the butter.
ME: ((piping in like the bitchbarista I am)) It's not like we can sh!t butter.. and if we could, you probably wouldn't want it.... I imagine it would be rather warm.
BW: **Shuts the F*ck UP.. real quick like.**


MEAT AND BREAD?

We finally had a break in customers and I was doing the dishes while my CoWo was making a sandwich for a customer. This guy comes up to the counter, does NOT wait at the register to make an order .. comes right over to me &....

MeatHead: *blahblahblah*meat & bread..
Me: What? I didn't hear you.
MH: You gonna make me a sandwich or what?
Me: What?!
MH: What kind of tuna ya got? Is it white tuna?
Me: I dunno, I dont make it. (I am in full additude mode right now)
MH: ..blahblah..orders a sandwich..blahblah
Me: **Makes sanwich, serves sandwich... rings up the order.**
MH: **pays .. no tip**

..I go smoke.. I turned to my CoWo and asked of him..
"Give me ONE, just one, good reason why I shouldn't slap the stupid out of this guy"
CoWo.."Um, I can't think of one reason not to" ..

I told my bosslady about this .. she told me I should of looked him dead in the eye and said "F*ck you! I don't remember giving birth to your heavy ass. Make your own damn sandwich" ... she said I have full permission to curse out anyone who disrespects me like that .. she said I work for her and her fiance.. not these dingdongs. ..werd..

1/2 & 1/2

Behind the counter as busy as hell.. line out the door.. One of my favorite CoWo's has stopped by to help us..
we're rushing, we're slanging caffine like rock stars when I hear..

RudeLoudmouth: "HEY!YO! HALF & HALF!" ..**shakes the empty half &half container at us*
FaveCoWo: Dude, are you serious?
RL: I need half & half
FaCoWo: what you NEED to do is not yell at me or call me Half & Half. Thats not my name.
RL: Oh, but you see I saw you had the half & half....
ME: But you managed to NOT see this entire line that we are working through?
RL: well, I need ..
Me: You need to get in the line behind these patient folks or shut the F*CK UP. heard?
RL: **slunks away**

..seriously.. wtf?

Twenty Dolla Newspaper

When we first open in the mornings, we don't have much change in the drawer. So we ask people to pay with as small as possible bills so we can build up for the dummies with the twenties.

Twenty$Newspaper: I just need the NYtimes (1.00, no tax))
Me: Ok, Its a dollar even ..
T$Np: **hands me a twenty**
Me: Do you have anything smaller? I don't ahve a lot of change...
T$Np: What? no I don't...
Me: Oh, well .....
T$Np: It's only a twenty dollar bill!
Me: It's only a dollar newspaper *major eyeroll.. could've added a three-point snap and a head twist to it..
T$Np: **walks off**

See, I was going to do it anyway and pray for the best later on.. but he had to open his mouth and say something stupid.
A customer's biggest downfall is thier mouths..

... Also .. added bonus ..
a regular customer was staring at my boobs saying how horny we was by looking at my boobs.. the worst part?? he's my boyfriend's boss... *EWNASTYVOMITANGER*
today .. overall has been ...
But it doesn't end .. I still have tomorrow .. and friday & saturday of next weekend too..

[mircea12345]

Another New Orleanian, I dont feel alone anymore...lol

[phoenix_rising]

I'm so glad you can get away with comments like that! I wish all of us could.

[zzapp the witch]

Hell, I'd go to Nawlins just FOR the tude!

[sarahj]

In reply to the half & half customer story...

I worked Wednesday night, after our store's cafe closed. A woman came in and asked for some equal (fake sugar). Front counter doesn't have it, only the cafe, so I told her we didn't have any. She huffed and left. Seriously, you're holding coffee from another store, I'm not gonna give you free equal that'd take me a few minutes to locate.

[BusyBee]

Your boss needs to be cloned multiple times and placed in a management position in all places of work that require dealing with the public!

[Andara Bledin]

... Also .. added bonus ..
a regular customer was staring at my boobs saying how horny we was by looking at my boobs.. the worst part?? he's my boyfriend's boss... *EWNASTYVOMITANGER*

Wait, wait... the guy who did this is your boyfriend's boss? That would count as sexual harassment since it could be easily conceivable that your boyfriend's position could be affected by your actions. What a jerk.

^-.-^

[Kusanagi]

Can I work where you work? You don't even have to pay me.

[BookstoreEscapee]

ME: ((piping in like the bitchbarista I am)) It's not like we can sh!t butter.. and if we could, you probably wouldn't want it.... I imagine it would be rather warm.

But I'll bet it would be spread really easily!

I had a guy once buy a $3.95 magazine at 9am with a $100 bill. Of course he was my first customer. The drawer starts with $100 in 5s, 1s and change. I asked if he had anything smaller or else I would have to have the manager break it out of the safe. Of course he didn't have anything smaller. So I call the manager and while we're waiting he says "What, don't they give you any money?" I was very tempted to take out $3.95 and dump the rest of the drawer on the counter in front of him. (Somehow, I refrained.)

[Tria]

Wait, wait... the guy who did this is your boyfriend's boss? That would count as sexual harassment since it could be easily conceivable that your boyfriend's position could be affected by your actions. What a jerk.

*Blinks* Wow, you! Law school! Now!

[TwoScoopsSciath]

But I'll bet it would be spread really easily!

I had a guy once buy a $3.95 magazine at 9am with a $100 bill. Of course he was my first customer. The drawer starts with $100 in 5s, 1s and change. I asked if he had anything smaller or else I would have to have the manager break it out of the safe. Of course he didn't have anything smaller. So I call the manager and while we're waiting he says "What, don't they give you any money?" I was very tempted to take out $3.95 and dump the rest of the drawer on the counter in front of him. (Somehow, I refrained.)

Yeah, that sounds familiar...

SC: *waves a $50 under my nose* Gimme quarters.
Me: Sir, We don't take anything bigger than a $20.
SC: I don't want to buy anything I just want quarters!
Me: We don't give out change unless you buy something.
SC: *tries to buy $.30 gum with $50*
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but why are you at College when you haven't passed simple English and Math?

[PaperKitty]

Well, Jazz Fest wasn't as hardcore terrible as I thought it was going to be.
We had a few dingdongs.. but these were the only whoppers.
It was busy as heck on cold water day, but nothing I couldn't handle.

Yea, I do have the best bosses in the world.
They own this place and we have only one location.
Being local helps us make our own rules.

[Luna]

Oh how I wish we could say what was on our minds like that.

And thank you to whoever said they call a manager instead of taking the large bill. Can you train people in my job to do that? I'll go get change in the AM, and then 10 minutes after opening - cashier takes a $100 and cashes out the entire freaking till. Then 2 hours later informs me that they have no money b/c they broke a bill. So then I have to go to the change machine TWICE in one day.

Really freaking pisses me off.