The family that stays together ... can't even plan a memorial service (somewhat long)

[Pixelated]

So our mother died in early August. She was cremated immediately and the service was set for this coming Friday (yes ... Friday the 13th. Trust me, Mom would laaauugh ...)

The funeral home has (at least) three sites: Central, South, East. Originally the service was set for the Central site.

Then a few weeks ago we had a major rainstorm. Houses flooded, businesses flooded, streets flooded ... the funeral home's Central site flooded ...

At the moment the only thing they can host is massive repair work. So we were told they were moving the service to the South site. Fine.

Today I ran into neighbour (and Mom's best friend, who did a LOT for her while Mom was still at home but becoming increasingly incapacitated). Neighbour: "We're at the east end of the city! Why are they holding it at the South site? Why not the East site?"

Me: "Good point!"

So I dropped in on the funeral home today. I also wanted to know if (as had been promised) the obit had gone in again this past Saturday. It hadn't (I'm becoming increasingly unimpressed by our contact there). The obit is still up on their website but it still said Central site. So they promised to change it and to get the obit into the paper tonight, letting people know the service will be at the East site instead.

Then I get home and there's a message from my brother. "Service is at South site ..."

Later on brother and I caught up on FaceTime. Apparently [Contact] had called him in something of a panic because she'd just then heard that I had dropped in and changed it to the East site. Brother explained that the South site is actually closer to the cemetery. Okay, hadn't realized that.

So where are we now? An obit that is STILL wrong (although this is DEFINITELY no longer the funeral home's fault, LOL) and that is now wrong in the newspaper (nothing we can do about that) and on the website (possibly we can get it changed again ...) mostly due to the fact that two of Mom's kids were unknowingly working at cross-purposes.

Somewhere in the afterlife, Mom is going, "YEP, THOSE ARE MY KIDS!" and rolling her eyes like mad.

[AccountingDrone]

Yikes.

This is why I am glad we are from a small town in western NY state, one funeral home!

And also why Rob and I want to be cremated and out cremains put into a TDU can and dropped into an abyssal@!

[dalesys]

My predictions are:
The guests will be at East.
The Family will be at South.
The remains will be at Central.
Oh, by the way, the grave site is at Other Cemetery, 2 counties over & 3 down.

[MoonCat]

Wow, what a mess. The paper should be able to change it online for you, at least. Especially if they use Legacy for their online notices. Either someone in the obit dept or someone at Legacy can take care of that for you. And if the error in the paper is the newspaper's fault, then ask them to rerun it at no charge as this is an important piece of info. Worth a try

[Android Kaeli]

My predictions are:
The guests will be at East.
The Family will be at South.
The remains will be at Central.
Oh, by the way, the grave site is at Other Cemetery, 2 counties over & 3 down.

I'll start the betting pool with this, at $10.



Sounds like craziness abound, hope everything works out in the end.

[dalesys]

I'll start the betting pool with this, at $10...

... And the hearse is "Broke down." at the Dew Drop Inn. ...

[Pixelated]

Yikes.

This is why I am glad we are from a small town in western NY state, one funeral home!

And also why Rob and I want to be cremated and out cremains put into a TDU can and dropped into an abyssal@!

At this point, I'm quite prepared to believe that even under those circumstances we would still have managed to screw it up.

I do like the idea of resting in an ocean abyss forevermore ...

Mom was cremated, thank goodness. I would not have wanted to have a hearse hauling a casket all over the city, trying to figure out where the hell it's supposed to be...

My predictions are:
The guests will be at East.
The Family will be at South.
The remains will be at Central.
Oh, by the way, the grave site is at Other Cemetery, 2 counties over & 3 down.


... And the hearse is "Broke down." at the Dew Drop Inn. ...

OMG, that is priceless!


MoonCat, we have decided to just let it go. The only person I can think of offhand who might be led astray is a high school buddy of Mom's, who tried to reconnect with her many years ago and was soundly rebuffed. Why? Who knows? It might have been the insidious fingers of dementia wrapping themselves around her brain even then, but she just kept snubbing the woman until the woman finally gave up ... as who wouldn't.

Other than that we are expecting no more than 10 ... possibly up to 20 ... people at the service, and pretty much all of them will be people we have been in touch with (Mom's neighbour & good friend, cousins, nursing home staff who might want to come, etc.) So I doubt very much that the error in the newspaper obit will be much of an issue.

In any case ... the newspaper can't be held responsible for the fact that two of her kids were running around like chickens on acid.

[csquared]

Other than that we are expecting no more than 10 ... possibly up to 20 ... people at the service,

I find it interesting. Before my father passed, he was complaining that he had no friends left. They were all dead. So who were the 30-40 people that showed up for his memorial?

Now for comparison...
A high school friend of mine was killed in a motorcycle accident two weeks ago. Went back to Illinois for the wake. It took 4.5 hours to get everyone through the line. I am guessing that there was at least 200, maybe as many as 300, in attendance.

[Pixelated]

There were maybe 20 at Mom's memorial service, but it didn't surprise us. (Actually a few of the people who showed up DID surprise us ... who are you and how did you hear about this??)

She was old and she had isolated herself more and more as the years went by. Her best friend from next door showed up. The elderly lady across the street (she's 90-something, still in her own house, and still drives short distances in daylight hours ...) and the lady who lives kitty-korner did not. The latter has health issues; the former might have just decided that going across the city (even in somebody else's car) was more than she cared to do.

We were not expecting much more than that. There was a nice short service -- with perhaps more religion than I would have liked, but brother set it up, and frankly, I am not an aggressive enough unbeliever to raise a stink about it. Also, I can't really complain too much about the religion ... Mom's five-foot-long rubber snake (named Esmerelda) was draped over the lectern during the service ... At the end sister spoke up and said to brother, "Perhaps you might want to explain what Esmerelda is doing here ..." Most of the people knew (or could guess) why, but there were a few who were probably wondering WTF a rubber snake was doing at a fairly Christian burial service.