Asking "DUH Question"

[Pixelated]

These customers aren't sucky, which is why this is here, but really, folks ...

I can't tell you how many people are wandering in, looking around, and saying, in wide-eyed shock, "Are you CLOSING?!?"

Nope. Having nearly 2/3 of our shelves totally empty is a new sales gimmick.

*****************

Anybody remember MAD Magazines section that was called something like "Snarky Answers to Stupid Questions"? Feel free to supply your own snarky response to this. I'd love to see what other people come up with. If nothing else, I'll pass it along to my coworkers on my next shift so they can try very hard not to giggle next time somebody asks DUH Question.

[Kittish]

Nah. We're just switching what kind of store we are. Gotta get rid of all the old stuff first, though. This stuff *gesturing around* really wouldn't go too well with custom racing mountain bikes, you know?"

[Seanette]

"Here's your sign."

[Trixie]

I work for one of the major pharmacy chains. We're not known for anything else but being a pharmacy. No matter what corporate tries to do. Yet every so often someone will enter and ask "Do you have a pharmacy?"

One Christmas I worked for an overpriced candle store and the stock would sell out so fast the shelves would be empty. People would come in and ask if they were going out of business because of it. Uh, no signs are up so no?

I kinda have one story of my own. I used to work the overnight shift and one night a coworker and I were standing outside waiting for our truck to come. Well, there it was sitting at the light in front of the store and I say "Is that the truck?" Nope just another trailer with the name of our store painted on the side just randomly pulling into our parking lot. Yeah, I was very tired that night so the whole brain to mouth thing didn't always work right.

[Lace Neil Singer]

"No, we're keeping all the good stuff round the back for ourselves."

[RealUnimportant]

The back room was looking empty, so we moved everything there.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I got in trouble for snarking on one of those kinds of questions once.

At the wholesale club. At the express register, just around the corner from our pharmacy (when we still had one).

Customer comes up to me.

Custy: "Where's your pharmacy?"

I turn around and look up at the big "pharmacy" sign above the pharmacy counter.

J2K: "I think it's under the big sign that says 'pharmacy.'"

They gave me the old cat-butt face and later complained to my manager.

[Pixelated]

Oh, we weren't going to use them on our customers ... but I passed 'em along to my coworkers and we all had a good laugh over them. Thanks, all!

So, as of one hour and 50 minutes ago ... the evening shift rolled the grill across the storefront for the last time.

My last shift was yesterday. Still hasn't quite sunk in.