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A lesson in personal responsibility
99% of the time when my "How can I help you today?" question is answered with "You assholes cut my service off!", I just know it's going to be a "fun" call.
Such was the case today.
Sure enough, the SC in question did have his services cut off...because he didn't pay on time.
I'm going to stop right here and say that generally myself and my managers don't really have a lot of sympathy for people who cause these kind of self inflicted wounds.
If there's a legitmate reason it might have been late, we will try to work with you. For example, we've made special arrangements for a lot of customers from Florida in the past month or so. If there's not, you're probably SOL. And no, you being lazy and forgetting to pay your bill or being irresponsible with your money does NOT count.
<Red Checkmark> allows people to set payment arrangments if they need to pay late. Basically, you commit to paying the full past due on a certain day past your original due date. If you make the payment, your services stay on, if you don't, game over.
But here's the problem: This dude hadn't done one.
He THOUGHT he had and told me several times. I can see in his account that he's done it a few times in the past but the system has no record of a recent promise to pay.
Thus ensues the following:
SC: But I do this every month!
Me: Apparently, you forgot this month. I don't see a promise here.
SC: So what am I supposed to do??
Me: You'll have to pay the past due to restore services, sir.
SC: But I can't pay until next week.
Me: You can do that, you get at least six weeks to bring your account current before we cancel it for non pay.
SC: But my phones aren't working!!
Me: Yes, I understand but there's nothing I can do about that until you pay the past due.
SC: Earth to moron, I just told you I can pay next week.
Me:
And I told you that would be fine but we cannot restore your services until the payment is made.
SC: So what am I supposed to do until then?! I NEED MY PHONE.
Me: I understand but there's not much I can do for you here.
SC: Okay, can you process the payment on my girlfriends card? It should be saved to the account.
Me: I'm not seeing a saved card here, I can process but you'll have to give me the info.
SC: It's HER CARD. It's WITH HER right now. Jesus, why are you making this so hard?
Me: You don't have any other way you can pay it?
SC: No. Look, how about this: You turn my phones back on and I promise I will pay you tomorrow.
Me: That's...not how this works. Sir. I can't restore anything without payment.
SC: You asshole. Turn my shit on.
Me: No.
SC: TURN my shit ON.
Me: No.
SC: TURN MY SHIT ON RIGHT NOW OR I'M CALLING A LAWYER!
Me: I can give you the number to our legal department if you want but I cannot restore your services without payment.
SC: This is bulls**t. I f***ing hate you people. I can't believe you're doing this to me. Go to hell. *CLICK*
Not sure if prank call or...
A call came in the other day and I heard nothing on the line except for some deep, eerie moaning, kind of like Frankenstein from the old monster movies. Went on for two minutes before I disconnected.
In which I am apparently supposed to be psychic
Me: How can help you today?
SC: You owe me $450.
(Oh well, we're off to a GREAT start then!)
Me: Okay...and what for exactly?
SC: There's a line on my account, was supposed to have been cancelled six months ago and it's not.
Me: I see the line, it looks like you've still been making payments.
SC: Yes, it was on autopay. I didn't even notice it was still billing until a week ago.
Me: I don't see where the line was supposed to be cancelled. I see where three other lines WERE cancelled in a span of two days, but not that one.
SC: They were ALL supposed to be cancelled.
Me: I'm not seeing anything in the notes about that. I can certainly cancel the line for you, but I can't give you $450.
SC: And why the hell not?
Me: Well for one, by paying the bill you accept the charges and you technically can't dispute accepted charges. Secondly, we have no record that you actually intended to cancel that line.
SC: You really think I'd cancel all the lines on my account but one?
Me: Some people do sir.
SC: That's a f***ing joke. Look, dick. You're going to give me my money or I am going to raise holy hell with your company.
Me: I can't give you back the money. I'm sorry.
SC: Bulls**t. Give me my damn money.
Me: I can't.
SC: FINE! You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to complain to the FTC, the FCC, the BBB and maybe NBC!! By the time I'm done with you, you won't even have a f**king job.
Me: Okay, is there anything else I can help you with sir?
SC: Piss off. *CLICK*
I have the power! (and you don't)
<Red Checkmark> offers cell boosters, these are basically miniature cell towers you set up on your home and they use an existing internet connection to boost the cell signal.
Talked to a guy today from the US Virgin Islands. The VI are still badly damaged from Hurricane Maria and many of our towers there are down.
So this guy was pissed off that his booster wasn't working and wanted a boatload of credits.
Problem: His booster wasn't working because he had NO ELECTRICITY.
Since it's not really a <Red checkmark> service issue, there's no credit to be offered. Also, we don't charge anything extra for use of the booster. It will NEVER show up on your bill. So if your net cost to use the thing is $0.00, why do you want us to credit you?
This guy was so persistent it took me and two other managers to finally shut him down (he called back a bunch of times trying to wear us down).
People have really messed up priorities sometimes. Dude had NO POWER and yet he was worried about credits on his cell phone bill. Yeesh.
They don't see us rolling, they hating...
<Red Checkmark> does send technicians out to homes to deal with internet and landline services but we do not and never have sent out techs for CELL PHONE issues.
That said, the number of people who demand we send techs out for their cell phones is rather staggering. Like, I get one or two requests of this nature a week on average.
No one seems to understand that we send techs out for internet and landline because there are actual, you know, WIRES on site that need to be checked and tested and such.
Cell phones are by their nature WIRELESS so if you have a problem with yours, there's nothing to stop you from hauling your butt in to a <red checkmark> store to get some help with it.
I realize going to the store isn't that convenient for some people but yelling at me won't help. I don't have a magic button that dispatches a <Red Checkmark> van whenever you might need one.
Quite frankly, I think if we did sent out techs for cell phone problems, those poor bastards would demand a hefty raise.
99% of the time when my "How can I help you today?" question is answered with "You assholes cut my service off!", I just know it's going to be a "fun" call.
Such was the case today.
Sure enough, the SC in question did have his services cut off...because he didn't pay on time.
I'm going to stop right here and say that generally myself and my managers don't really have a lot of sympathy for people who cause these kind of self inflicted wounds.
If there's a legitmate reason it might have been late, we will try to work with you. For example, we've made special arrangements for a lot of customers from Florida in the past month or so. If there's not, you're probably SOL. And no, you being lazy and forgetting to pay your bill or being irresponsible with your money does NOT count.
<Red Checkmark> allows people to set payment arrangments if they need to pay late. Basically, you commit to paying the full past due on a certain day past your original due date. If you make the payment, your services stay on, if you don't, game over.
But here's the problem: This dude hadn't done one.
He THOUGHT he had and told me several times. I can see in his account that he's done it a few times in the past but the system has no record of a recent promise to pay.
Thus ensues the following:
SC: But I do this every month!
Me: Apparently, you forgot this month. I don't see a promise here.
SC: So what am I supposed to do??
Me: You'll have to pay the past due to restore services, sir.
SC: But I can't pay until next week.
Me: You can do that, you get at least six weeks to bring your account current before we cancel it for non pay.
SC: But my phones aren't working!!
Me: Yes, I understand but there's nothing I can do about that until you pay the past due.
SC: Earth to moron, I just told you I can pay next week.
Me:
And I told you that would be fine but we cannot restore your services until the payment is made.SC: So what am I supposed to do until then?! I NEED MY PHONE.
Me: I understand but there's not much I can do for you here.
SC: Okay, can you process the payment on my girlfriends card? It should be saved to the account.
Me: I'm not seeing a saved card here, I can process but you'll have to give me the info.
SC: It's HER CARD. It's WITH HER right now. Jesus, why are you making this so hard?
Me: You don't have any other way you can pay it?
SC: No. Look, how about this: You turn my phones back on and I promise I will pay you tomorrow.
Me: That's...not how this works. Sir. I can't restore anything without payment.
SC: You asshole. Turn my shit on.
Me: No.
SC: TURN my shit ON.
Me: No.
SC: TURN MY SHIT ON RIGHT NOW OR I'M CALLING A LAWYER!
Me: I can give you the number to our legal department if you want but I cannot restore your services without payment.
SC: This is bulls**t. I f***ing hate you people. I can't believe you're doing this to me. Go to hell. *CLICK*
Not sure if prank call or...
A call came in the other day and I heard nothing on the line except for some deep, eerie moaning, kind of like Frankenstein from the old monster movies. Went on for two minutes before I disconnected.
In which I am apparently supposed to be psychic
Me: How can help you today?
SC: You owe me $450.
(Oh well, we're off to a GREAT start then!)
Me: Okay...and what for exactly?
SC: There's a line on my account, was supposed to have been cancelled six months ago and it's not.
Me: I see the line, it looks like you've still been making payments.
SC: Yes, it was on autopay. I didn't even notice it was still billing until a week ago.
Me: I don't see where the line was supposed to be cancelled. I see where three other lines WERE cancelled in a span of two days, but not that one.
SC: They were ALL supposed to be cancelled.
Me: I'm not seeing anything in the notes about that. I can certainly cancel the line for you, but I can't give you $450.
SC: And why the hell not?
Me: Well for one, by paying the bill you accept the charges and you technically can't dispute accepted charges. Secondly, we have no record that you actually intended to cancel that line.
SC: You really think I'd cancel all the lines on my account but one?
Me: Some people do sir.
SC: That's a f***ing joke. Look, dick. You're going to give me my money or I am going to raise holy hell with your company.
Me: I can't give you back the money. I'm sorry.
SC: Bulls**t. Give me my damn money.
Me: I can't.
SC: FINE! You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to complain to the FTC, the FCC, the BBB and maybe NBC!! By the time I'm done with you, you won't even have a f**king job.
Me: Okay, is there anything else I can help you with sir?
SC: Piss off. *CLICK*
I have the power! (and you don't)
<Red Checkmark> offers cell boosters, these are basically miniature cell towers you set up on your home and they use an existing internet connection to boost the cell signal.
Talked to a guy today from the US Virgin Islands. The VI are still badly damaged from Hurricane Maria and many of our towers there are down.
So this guy was pissed off that his booster wasn't working and wanted a boatload of credits.
Problem: His booster wasn't working because he had NO ELECTRICITY.
Since it's not really a <Red checkmark> service issue, there's no credit to be offered. Also, we don't charge anything extra for use of the booster. It will NEVER show up on your bill. So if your net cost to use the thing is $0.00, why do you want us to credit you?
This guy was so persistent it took me and two other managers to finally shut him down (he called back a bunch of times trying to wear us down).
People have really messed up priorities sometimes. Dude had NO POWER and yet he was worried about credits on his cell phone bill. Yeesh.
They don't see us rolling, they hating...
<Red Checkmark> does send technicians out to homes to deal with internet and landline services but we do not and never have sent out techs for CELL PHONE issues.
That said, the number of people who demand we send techs out for their cell phones is rather staggering. Like, I get one or two requests of this nature a week on average.
No one seems to understand that we send techs out for internet and landline because there are actual, you know, WIRES on site that need to be checked and tested and such.
Cell phones are by their nature WIRELESS so if you have a problem with yours, there's nothing to stop you from hauling your butt in to a <red checkmark> store to get some help with it.
I realize going to the store isn't that convenient for some people but yelling at me won't help. I don't have a magic button that dispatches a <Red Checkmark> van whenever you might need one.
Quite frankly, I think if we did sent out techs for cell phone problems, those poor bastards would demand a hefty raise.
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