Things you wish you'd said to sucktomers

[pzychobitch]

yes and no. I'm not going to say much- as it can border on Fratching- but some fees- combined with the way some banks process transactions at the end of the day- are indeed at least borderline abusive. On the toher hand, if the custy meant fees themselves are abusive, then nope. ( basically, some banks deiberately process transactions in a way to not only generate fees when they otherwise wouldn't- like processing debits before credits- but generate multiple fees when a single fee could have been generated ( like processing the larger debits first, so that if the account goes overdrawn, you could get several small transactions getting unauthorised overdraft fees.)

I believe that exact same thing is what got bank of america in a literal shit ton of trouble a few years ago.

[Android Kaeli]

Oh, it's not just the element! The board in the 'bells and whistles' were order only, because there were so many different ones and it was all dependent on the model you had! And then there were the odd elements with the unusual "plugs!" You were looking at least a week to get the parts in and another two or three days for us to get you on the schedule!

Plus, we were always crammed full the week or two before a major food or sport event. So, unless it was a fridge gone completely out, you were looking at well after Thanksgiving just for us to come out and tell you that it needed a part! If they'd called the moment it was out.. we'd have been out, the part ordered, shipped in and installed...

That and nowadays it's cheaper just to go buy a new stove/fridge. When my fridge was starting to decline not too long ago, I think sometime last year or so, called up the place where I got it from. It would cost us more then what we paid for the fridge just to get someone out here to look at the damned thing.

So we just bought a new fridge from the Blue Roof home improvement place, got it delivered, and had the old one hauled away -- for just over what repairing the old one would've cost.

[Food Lady]

One time a guy threw out a (positive) opinion about the company and I didn't respond verbally because I knew at the time I wouldn't have anything nice to say. I wanted to correct his perception, but didn't. The next time he saw me it was "You're not customer service!!" I wanted to say "No, I'm not. Customer service is an abstract concept and I'm a human being." I wish I had. He wasn't even my customer that time; I was just standing nearby.

[Headset Hellion]

"Holy shit you have a gambling problem!"

"No. You are not authorized on this account. Stop yelling at me and talk to your husband. Ya'll need marriage counseling."

"If you wanted to be addressed as Dr. Sucktomer then perhaps you should have noted that on your credit card application."

"We both know that you signed up for a free trial on that porn site and then forgot to cancel the membership. Please don't make me set up a warm transfer to the fraud department for you to lie to them, too. They're too busy for your bullshit."

"How the hell was I supposed to know that you're a doctor? Does your credit card have your title on it? Is it on your statement? Am I a mind reader? How is this my life?"

"What the fuck did you think was gonna happen when you put your teenager on your account as an authorized user and handed them a credit card?!"

"For real, though, I could not possibly care any less about the fact that you're a doctor. I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now that it's giving me a headache."

[Swordsman422]

Not so much something I would say as do. I'd snatch up any cell phones that weren't put away by pushback and at least stow them. Throwing them out of the cockpit window would just create something that might wreck an expensive motor. Fortunately I have never had to deal with that problem. Maybe when I go from exec charter to the airlines, but not yet.

[Seanette]

"Holy shit you have a gambling problem!"

"No. You are not authorized on this account. Stop yelling at me and talk to your husband. Ya'll need marriage counseling."

"If you wanted to be addressed as Dr. Sucktomer then perhaps you should have noted that on your credit card application."

"We both know that you signed up for a free trial on that porn site and then forgot to cancel the membership. Please don't make me set up a warm transfer to the fraud department for you to lie to them, too. They're too busy for your bullshit."

"How the hell was I supposed to know that you're a doctor? Does your credit card have your title on it? Is it on your statement? Am I a mind reader? How is this my life?"

"What the fuck did you think was gonna happen when you put your teenager on your account as an authorized user and handed them a credit card?!"

"For real, though, I could not possibly care any less about the fact that you're a doctor. I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now that it's giving me a headache."

Was this all in one call?

[flyonthewall]

"YOU'RE TACKY AND I HATE YOU."

[WishfulSpirit]

I appreciate the apology for that long rant you wrote about us on the internet, and I can understand being grumpy after a long flight. However, you're "sorry" doesn't take away the black mark on my file, it doesn't take away the look of disappointment in my beloved boss' eyes when he spoke his team about how we should treat guests (which hurt far more than what you said), and it doesn't make up for the lost business we'll be experiencing since your screed is still up there for the world to see. Maybe next time take a nap and get a meal before you log on and start typing.

[Jay 2K Winger]

"If you wanted to be addressed as Dr. Sucktomer then perhaps you should have noted that on your credit card application."

"How the hell was I supposed to know that you're a doctor? Does your credit card have your title on it? Is it on your statement? Am I a mind reader? How is this my life?"

"For real, though, I could not possibly care any less about the fact that you're a doctor. I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now that it's giving me a headache."

See, I can just about imagine the tone in the guy's voice, and I'd be reeeeally tempted to continually refer to him as Mr. Sucktomer. And if he insists on it, just blithely reply, "There is nothing about you being a doctor on your file, Mr. Sucktomer, now can we please focus on the real reason you called?"

[Deevil]

You are trying to pull the "I'm a good customer/order all the time" card, but your order history for the last three years shows one order this year, three orders in 2013, and one order in 2012 for a combined total of under $125 spent. We have customers (mainly school districts) that will over a thousand dollars a month with us, THOSE are our good customers.

[taxguykarl]

Get your scamming ass out of here.

The IRS will find out about this nonsense.

You get what you pay for.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

yes and no. I'm not going to say much- as it can border on Fratching- but some fees- combined with the way some banks process transactions at the end of the day- are indeed at least borderline abusive. On the toher hand, if the custy meant fees themselves are abusive, then nope. ( basically, some banks deiberately process transactions in a way to not only generate fees when they otherwise wouldn't- like processing debits before credits- but generate multiple fees when a single fee could have been generated ( like processing the larger debits first, so that if the account goes overdrawn, you could get several small transactions getting unauthorised overdraft fees.)

And it's stuff like that that made me leave Stagecoach Bank last month and move my money over to a smaller, regional bank (and I may start a Fratching thread on that in the very near future.)

At least with Regional Bank, when I check my account, they subtract immediately our debit purchases so I can see exactly what's left available. If I've written a check, I'll simply subtract the amount of the check and then I have my correct balance.

[Food Lady]

Mine show up immediately also, except for one card that runs like an EFT. Those take 3 days, but that's more to do with the store that issued the card than the bank. I just have to be organized.

[WishfulSpirit]

Another from me: Read the orbipricepedia TOC moron.

[prjkt]

"Open your eyes before your mouth"

On photo kiosk customers who declare they "can't do it" without even trying - "Can you read English? Can you follow simple instructions? Then yes, you can do it."

"Your 'professional' friend is an idiot and has given you advice so wrong, outdated and bizarre that I can't even comprehend what they were trying to do, so how about listening to someone who actually knows about the products we sell instead."