Directory Assistance Woes. (LONG)

[zigcat]

So I worked a stint for the phone company as a directory assistance operator.
Here's how it worked: We would look up phone numbers and address information for specific business, residential and government listings similar to the white pages. We were not able, at the time, to do categorical searches such as hotels or florists because we couldn't make it seem like we were favoring one business over another. The customer had to provide the name of the business. So here are a few samplings of the calls I got

ME = Headset warrior
SC = Calgon take me away!

ME: Directory, this is Zigcat. What city please?
SC (gives city) I need to find a hotel that accepts pets.
ME: If you have a specific hotel I can give you their number and you can check with them.
SC: Can't you just look up hotels for me and see whether or not they accept pets?
ME: Unfortunately our system is only set up to do specific name searches and the only information that is provided is the address and phone number.
SC (snotty) Look I called you guys not five minutes ago and the other operator gave me that information.
(Which may have been true but she could have been routed to another directory system through her cell phone that could have given her the information she requested----or she was just lying)
ME: Well when you dialed 411 you may have been routed to a provider who's system is set up to do those kinds of searches. Unfortunately ours are not.
SC: Well what good are you then if you can't provide me with the information I need? This IS information is it not?
ME (a little firm) No this is directory assistance. We provide phone number and address information. Our system is not set up to provide any other information. I'll be more than happy to give you the phone numbers of hotels that you provide the names for and then it's up to you to contact those hotels to see what their rules are for accepting pets.
SC: I want credit back for this call. You didn't help me at all.
ME: Sorry you feel that way. I can't override the system. Be watching for your credit on your next bill.
SC *click*

Oh well. On a side note, just before I left, they were implementing a system where you could do categorical searches, get weather information, movie show times and yes even your horoscope.

Next Call

ME: Directory, this is Zigcat. For what city?
SC (gives city) I need you to look up my friend.
ME: And your friend's name?
SC: John
ME: And his last name?
SC: I don't know.
ME: You don't have your friend's last name?
SC: No. He's an old army buddy of mine. Can't you just look up John for me.
ME: Well I'd love to except our system is arranged alphabetically by last name.
SC: You can't use first names.
ME: Even if I could, how would I know which one to give you?
SC: Just give me all of them.
ME: I still need a last name.
SC: Try Smith.
ME: Your friend's last name is Smith?
SC: I don't know just try it.

So can anyone guess what would happen if I type in John Smith into my computer searching in a large metropolitan area?

ME: Unfortunately, sir, I'm going to need more information in order to complete your request such as a last name.
SC: But I don't know his last name.
ME: Do you know anybody who might?
SC: No, I just don't understand why you can't just give me all the Johns you have.
ME (trying to be polite) Because I'm suspecting there are a lot of people named John not to mention the thousands of last name possibilities.
SC: Well there's got to be a way you can find his number for me.
ME: Unfortunately without more specific information my hands are kind of tied.
SC: Well you're just a f***ing worthless idiot aren't you.
*Click*

Great way to turn it around, buddy. You don't even know your friend's last name and somehow I'M the idiot. Go figure.

Stay tuned for more call center fun!

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

If your friend had a somewhat uncommon name, like 'Temple' or 'Farfignewton', you might, repeat might, have a chance of finding him just by first name. But when the listings are by last name you are just SOL.

Try to remember his surname. Or hey, contact the army & see if they'll look up the John who was in your company. That answer might only be in the two digit numbers instead of three or four. Yikes.

[roguesqd]

I hated working directory assistance, the lonely people who called 10-20 times a night and the drunks were the worst. Although working in the business office sucked more

[zigcat]

I hated working directory assistance, the lonely people who called 10-20 times a night and the drunks were the worst. Although working in the business office sucked more

Or the elderly people who called in thinking they were reaching the cafeteria of their particular convalescent center wondering why you couldn't send food up to their room.

What sucked for us was, all the sups went home after 10PM. The center didn't close until midnight so we were sol on transferring those rowdy drunk and belligerent calls.

[marasbaras]

What sucked for us was, all the sups went home after 10PM. The center didn't close until midnight so we were sol on transferring those rowdy drunk and belligerent calls.

You couldn't just hang up on them?

[zigcat]

You couldn't just hang up on them?

If it were determined to be an actual directory call the best we could do would be to offer them credit and have them call back to get a "more experienced agent." But if it were somebody rambling on we could ask them. "Is there a listing I can look up for you?" And then as politely as we could end the call.