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Inker has returned from the trenches of 60-hour workweeks! If only just to post about the special world of Graphic Design SCs.
I present to you, an e-mail exchange:
SC: (a regular client, who always writes in all-caps) OH, ARE YOU BACK AT WORK? HOW ARE YOU FEELING? I WASN'T AT WORK EITHER, I HAD A MIGRAINE. I GET EYE STRAIN AND BLINDNESS IN MY LEFT EYE.
Me: (hopped on antibiotics) Yeah, I get those, too. You know it's from writing in all-caps?
SC: REALLY?
Me: Sure, your left eye reads capital letters and your right eye reads lower-case. So reading all capitals strains your left eye more.
SC: thats so cool.
Yes, yes it is. And while we're at it, we need to change your blinker fluid.
All good deeds....
Client: So we're doing a fundraiser with <cancer foundation> and we want to use their logo.
Me: Allright, if you can have them send me their vectored art, I can set it up.
Client: So we have to contact them?
Me: Yes, the logo is copywritten, so I can't use it without permission.
Client: But we're giving THEM the money.
Me:....you shouldn't have to pay for the artwork, they'll just send it to me so I can...
Client: We're paying YOU to do the artwork.
Me: (no, you aren't, I don't work on commission) Yes, that's fine, but I still need the foundation's permission to use their logo.
Client: But I don't want to have to CALL them.
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, you fail.
Do they want the stain on the shirts as well?
Client: (drops a napkin, complete with coffee stains, with some scribbles on my desk)
Me: . . .
Client: Can you put this on a shirt?
Me: . . .
Client: . . .
Me: There's going to be an art charge.
Client: It's a simple design.
Me: . . . on a NAPKIN.
Words cannot express how I loathe this. And it happens more times than I care to think about.
size doesn't matter
Client: We need this (very detailed) logo on a pen.
Me:....(ugh) ok, it will be about ..... this size (shows them tiny tiny tiny printing area)
Client: Wow, that's really small, huh?
It's. A. PEN. I don't know what kind of pens you use. But mine are not that big. A highly detailed logo in a space approx. 3/16 of an inch high will look like a blob. And an expensive blob, at that.
my favourite e-mail exchange ever
This is actually an old story, but I was reminded of it the other day. We sometimes get shirt orders with VERY vulgar language, and when there is incorrect grammar or spelling, we're asked to e-mail the customer asking if it's correct. This is, so far, the best thing I have ever gotten to write in a professional e-mail:
"Please note your lack of punctuation in the sentence, 'suck it harder b****'"
Thank you, and good night.
I present to you, an e-mail exchange:
SC: (a regular client, who always writes in all-caps) OH, ARE YOU BACK AT WORK? HOW ARE YOU FEELING? I WASN'T AT WORK EITHER, I HAD A MIGRAINE. I GET EYE STRAIN AND BLINDNESS IN MY LEFT EYE.
Me: (hopped on antibiotics) Yeah, I get those, too. You know it's from writing in all-caps?
SC: REALLY?
Me: Sure, your left eye reads capital letters and your right eye reads lower-case. So reading all capitals strains your left eye more.
SC: thats so cool.
Yes, yes it is. And while we're at it, we need to change your blinker fluid.
All good deeds....
Client: So we're doing a fundraiser with <cancer foundation> and we want to use their logo.
Me: Allright, if you can have them send me their vectored art, I can set it up.
Client: So we have to contact them?
Me: Yes, the logo is copywritten, so I can't use it without permission.
Client: But we're giving THEM the money.
Me:....you shouldn't have to pay for the artwork, they'll just send it to me so I can...
Client: We're paying YOU to do the artwork.
Me: (no, you aren't, I don't work on commission) Yes, that's fine, but I still need the foundation's permission to use their logo.
Client: But I don't want to have to CALL them.
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, you fail.
Do they want the stain on the shirts as well?
Client: (drops a napkin, complete with coffee stains, with some scribbles on my desk)
Me: . . .
Client: Can you put this on a shirt?
Me: . . .
Client: . . .
Me: There's going to be an art charge.
Client: It's a simple design.
Me: . . . on a NAPKIN.
Words cannot express how I loathe this. And it happens more times than I care to think about.
size doesn't matter
Client: We need this (very detailed) logo on a pen.
Me:....(ugh) ok, it will be about ..... this size (shows them tiny tiny tiny printing area)
Client: Wow, that's really small, huh?
It's. A. PEN. I don't know what kind of pens you use. But mine are not that big. A highly detailed logo in a space approx. 3/16 of an inch high will look like a blob. And an expensive blob, at that.
my favourite e-mail exchange ever
This is actually an old story, but I was reminded of it the other day. We sometimes get shirt orders with VERY vulgar language, and when there is incorrect grammar or spelling, we're asked to e-mail the customer asking if it's correct. This is, so far, the best thing I have ever gotten to write in a professional e-mail:
"Please note your lack of punctuation in the sentence, 'suck it harder b****'"
Thank you, and good night.
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