Ya know, I don't know what to think.

[Plaidman]

How to start. I was lonely. Key word being WAS. After burning jealousy at all my friends for having girlfriends/boyfriends, I just gave up. I figured ya know, girls said no to me enough times that I was destined to not have anybody in my life.

I kind of thought of that scene from Family guy where the two guys swear off woman for ever and become super billionares, but have sex with bagels. I figured I'd be rich and famous, sans bagels.

Now I have had several girls looks and numbers after I stopped looking, but i can't date them.

Case in point:
At movie theatre, playing air hockey before movie. Girl is behind me, staring at my ass. I have no ass but whatever. I smiled at her, and she smile bigger at me.
She played a game with me and we talked.
Then she mentioned she was 16. Then walked off with her boyfriend.

At Applebees eating dinner with a few friends. Waiteress is smiiling at me, and when she went to the table, she'd only ask ME if we wanted anything, and would walk off before my friends could answer. WOuld /berat/ my friends when they started poking at me and we're doing our normal routine of who can insult the other better.
Over heard later when she's talking to another customer that she was married.

My co-worker. Which I have posted several times.

Few girl customers have smiled deeply, some bowed a little too much. Moist leave their recipts that have their numbers on them.

I even had a few male customers do that.

So, I don't want this, frankly I hate mysellf too much still to put it through anyone. But its alot different then from before where the major thing I hated was jealousy of seeing everyone with someone to share livies with, and me empty.

Goes to show, you can't always get what you want. Should I stay the way I am, or what? Frankly I'd go out with any of these girls, but the bulk are married, underage, or seem to be lusting after me. (Which that I don't get. Maybe lust after my feelings??).

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hey, there's a lid for every pot. Or something like that. Maybe it's your turn.

[Greenday]

At movie theatre, playing air hockey before movie. Girl is behind me, staring at my ass. I have no ass but whatever. I smiled at her, and she smile bigger at me.
She played a game with me and we talked.
Then she mentioned she was 16. Then walked off with her boyfriend.

I feel your pain. I've just gotten to the age where it starts becoming sketchy for me to be interested in 16 year olds. (I'm 19) I mean, a lot of people kinda look older than they really are, and when all of a sudden I hear, "I'm 16...", it's like, whoa! Jail bait! I don't want to spend 20 years in jail.

Funny how it seems like we do better with women when we aren't looking for them actively.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I'm going to say something here, and I don't think you are going to appreciate it, but it needs to be said.

If you don't even like you, why do you expect others to?

Self loathing is not an attactive trait. I understand if you are going through some problems, but if that's the case, don't be in a hurry to drag someone else through that. Sort yourself out, be okay with yourself, and girls will then consider that you might be fun to be with.

Jealousy is not an attractive trait. It's not as destructive or annoying as self-loathing, but it's bad enough. It's not something you can really help feeling, but it's certainly something you can try to not be obvious about.

Right now, it seems to me that you just want a girlfriend for the sake of having what your friends have. Think about that a moment. We aren't talking about a watch or a car or a fat wallet here. We're talking about a relationship with another person. If you are out "looking for a girlfriend" you are doomed to fail. You will meet girls and think to yourself "Maybe this person will work out as a girlfriend." You will try to force her into a mold that you have made. Instead, you should just be out there meeting people as human beings, and if you happen to meet a girl that moves you, relates to you, and makes you feel good about yourself and brings you joy, THEN you might be able to start thinking about her that way. But by then, she'll probably have already started to fill that role without you even realizing it.

I think you have something to offer girls, Plaidman. I think you know you do, too. Stop with the self pity and bitterness and learn how to be someone who can stand on your own, without a girlfriend. If you can come to that kind of place in your life, you will be extremely attractive. Desperation is obvious, and girls will avoid it. Confidence is also obvious, and it's one of the more powerful chick (and guy) magnets out there.

[Rapscallion]

Funny how it seems like we do better with women when we aren't looking for them actively.

I've not noticed that on a personal basis. Oddly enough, when I saw I'm not looking, I end up with women trying to point me in the general direction of romance and insisting that it would be good for them. They're never willing to take one for the team, from what I've seen, so I see no reason to take them seriously.

Rapscallion

[Plaidman]

I guess I should have explained it better RecoveringKinkoid, its the fact that I DID stop trying to get a girlfriend for the sake of having one, and now a bunch of girls have beeing coming at me. I just found it taht all the advice people gave worked.

But frankly, I still can't have one. I really can't. But at least the option is more open now then it was if I did want to.