The Tow Files: Mayday!

[LoTech]

... our latest potential new hire completed his training, and, surprise, failed his drug screen. (that's three in a row now, the only thing more consistent in failure than these no hopers are the Cleveland Browns!)
...
"Guess I shoulda stopped smokin' last week, huh? H'yuck!"

Great stories, yet again Arga! Always a pleasure to read. You seem to know just the tight blend of snark and comeuppance to leaven the suckyness with.

That said, your latest trainee fail may have in fact stumbled upon the reason that drug testing is done after training instead of before: it gives the smarter candidate time to put themselves on the wagon, stop imbibing whatever they have been, and maybe even put themselves through one of those "detox & cleanse" regimens.

The latest washout may be clever, but the evidence doesn't support calling him "smart"

[eltf177]

I'm guessing he was too scared to admit he'd been towed, so he decided to just ignore it, since the semester isn't over until the end of May, he had two months (at the time) to come up with an excuse as to where Mom's car went... and then the letter arrived and ruined everything.

One has to wonder if the letter never came exactly WHEN the subject of the car and where it might be would finally come up...

[DeltaSierra]

I always smile when I see there's a new Arga post!! Keep them coming

[BeeMused]

Lately I saw a documentary about a towing company here in Germany, yep... "I didn't see the sign" "Highway robbery" "It's not fair" the complaints about getting towed are the same everywhere.
In the last segment, though, someone drove off the yard happy, after beeing towed! A woman had been rear ended, and the police judged it unsafe for her to drive on, esp. sonce she had a long way to go. All mechanic shops were already closed for the day. So it was decided that the car would be stored on the towing yard until the next day. The towing guy was a master car mechanic, so he offered to check out the car and see what was wrong. After a test drive he pronounced the car fit for driving. Oh that was one happy customer, she could continue on her way home. The insurance would pay for the tow, the quick repair and check was on the house.
So yes, it does happen, sometimes customers drive away happy!

[DiRF]

"The-Hulk-Just-Blew-His-Nose Green"

http://youtu.be/QxOqcz4vDp8

Again, we TOLD ya we'd shoot! But you didn't believe us! Why won't you believe us?!

http://youtu.be/nQIfRCUlfz4 (Spoilers for "The Big Country"-1958)

[earl colby pottinger]

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I always smile when I see there's a new Arga post!! Keep them coming

I don't just smile, I do a little happy dance before I start reading! I know it is going to be good.

[wolfie]

Nothing really epic going on this round, just clearing my head to retain my sanity after our latest potential new hire completed his training, and, surprise, failed his drug screen. (that's three in a row now, the only thing more consistent in failure than these no hopers are the Cleveland Browns!)

Argabarga, for the ultimate in consistent failure, allow me to introduce... the Toronto Maple Leafs.

And then there was that one time when my Father was beaten, by a mere mouse! I'll never be able to show my face in public again! Boo hoo hooooooooooo!!!!

I'm glad to see you recognize that there are Looney Tunes other than your inventory.

Because we do parking enforcement, we always have legions of "customers" eager to downvote us on whatever ranking system we'd subscribe to, it'd be a full time job weeding out the lies and exaggerations, so we just don't bother. Accordingly, we have an "F" rating on them all, but that doesn't seem to stop the "customers" from coming

The legions of illegal parkers are NOT your customers - they are your inventory. Your customers are the lot owners who contract with Friendly Neighbourhood Towing to remove illegally parked vehicles from their property.

The most Ass-inine complaint I ever got came in the other day. Person wrote us an email demanding a refund because I wasn't wearing proper "Towing Attire" when I towed them.

Towing attire? I thought you towed the whole car, not just a tire.

[Enjis]

I admit that I loved the story with the old guy and the young fellow who flipped him off. Just because they're old doesn't mean they're stupid, you young whipper-snapper!
I'm going to tell that one to my mom when I have dinner with her tonight. She lives in a seniors apartment complex.

[Crossbow]

"Self-Important-Mighty-Businessmen-Assholes (hence SIMBA)"

I am SO stealing this term.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Count me in among those who love the SIMBA term.

Argabarga, for the ultimate in consistent failure, allow me to introduce... the Toronto Maple Leafs.

It's funny 'cuz it's true! Even Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson knows it.

[pudddykat]

Love the Loony Tunes reference. I'm with Earl I do a happy dance too! Yay! An Arga post! Quoth Argabarga "Again, we TOLD ya we'd shoot! But you didn't believe us! Why won't you believe us?!" This brings to mind a scene from Divergent. 2nd/3rd person to state "You're not going to shoot." Tris "Why do people keep saying that?" *bang*. Or maybe it is more like Daffy trying to get one over on Bugs and getting his beak shot off every time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e1hZGDaqIw

[WishfulSpirit]

Ahhahahaha! It's been SO long since I watched Loony Toons. Thanks for the reminder!

[sstabeler]

I'd say that having a tow place that has every single complaint be "My car was towed!" and mentions how quickly their cars got towed might actually be a better advert than anything else...

[TimmyHate]

Argabarga, for the ultimate in consistent failure, allow me to introduce... the Toronto Maple Leafs.

IT WAS 4-1!!!!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I'd say that having a tow place that has every single complaint be "My car was towed!" and mentions how quickly their cars got towed might actually be a better advert than anything else...

That tells me somebody's doing their job right.

And I love that vintage Looney Toons . . . that's the mentality of folks we're dealing with today, it seems.

Too many Daffys, not enough Bugs.