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So, a bit of backstory first:
When I was born, my grandfather bought and gave to me (even though I was just a baby) two gold sovereigns, they're quite literally the first thing I've owned (even if i was too little for such concepts) and they've always been mine, all through my life, they're significant to me and my plan for them always was, to pass them down to any children I had, so they could have them and have something significant to them. Well, that plan is well and truly and irreversably ballsed up.
You see, a while back, my mum really needed money, and I mean really needed it for a tax bill, and so, she took my sovereigns, along with some jewelry, to a jewelers to sell for the gold. (the reason she had them at hers is part of a story I'll not go into), it's only today that she told me.
This irks me for a few reasons.
1. She basically stole from me, they were mine, always had been, they were being kept at hers, but they were still mine. This hurts, especially since that's totally not her, which leads to point 2.
2. She didn't ask, see she always shares money with me if i needed it, and i do the same with her, what little I had. If she'd have come to me and told me straight up that she needed the money and could she take my sovereigns to be valued, I'd have said go ahead, while they are significant and sentimental to me, all that would have gone out the window, but she didn't ask, she didn't even pass the idea by me before doing it.
3. She immediately felt guilty after selling them and used some of the leftover money to buy me a blu ray player (which I'll be honest is something i was wanting at the time) but because she kept from me that she bought it from what she got for my sovereigns, what I thought for years was a gift (the BR player) has now really soured.
4. She only told me now, and this really is the worst part, as me and my mum don't have secrets from each other, well, obviously there are some (natural ones), but not important, big stuff like this. And this is leaving me feel, well, honestly, I don't know hence the rant.
It's not about the money, I don't feel like "oh she's taken £X away from me" or anything, The monetary value of the items never crossed my mind, I was never going to sell them, It's more, something that's important to me was taken, that I'll never give back, and I never even hada choice about it. Like i said, if she'd asked me beforehand, I'd have said Sure, because I'd know she really needed the money.
It's just left me feeling, well, honestly I have no clue. She has said that when my grandfather dies (which may be soon) that I'll definately get the sovereign that my grandfather is leaving to her, but, it's not the same, y'know?
I can't even really tell her how I feel or any of the points I made above because I know it's only going to make her feel worse, which won't accomplish anything.
When I was born, my grandfather bought and gave to me (even though I was just a baby) two gold sovereigns, they're quite literally the first thing I've owned (even if i was too little for such concepts) and they've always been mine, all through my life, they're significant to me and my plan for them always was, to pass them down to any children I had, so they could have them and have something significant to them. Well, that plan is well and truly and irreversably ballsed up.
You see, a while back, my mum really needed money, and I mean really needed it for a tax bill, and so, she took my sovereigns, along with some jewelry, to a jewelers to sell for the gold. (the reason she had them at hers is part of a story I'll not go into), it's only today that she told me.
This irks me for a few reasons.
1. She basically stole from me, they were mine, always had been, they were being kept at hers, but they were still mine. This hurts, especially since that's totally not her, which leads to point 2.
2. She didn't ask, see she always shares money with me if i needed it, and i do the same with her, what little I had. If she'd have come to me and told me straight up that she needed the money and could she take my sovereigns to be valued, I'd have said go ahead, while they are significant and sentimental to me, all that would have gone out the window, but she didn't ask, she didn't even pass the idea by me before doing it.
3. She immediately felt guilty after selling them and used some of the leftover money to buy me a blu ray player (which I'll be honest is something i was wanting at the time) but because she kept from me that she bought it from what she got for my sovereigns, what I thought for years was a gift (the BR player) has now really soured.
4. She only told me now, and this really is the worst part, as me and my mum don't have secrets from each other, well, obviously there are some (natural ones), but not important, big stuff like this. And this is leaving me feel, well, honestly, I don't know hence the rant.
It's not about the money, I don't feel like "oh she's taken £X away from me" or anything, The monetary value of the items never crossed my mind, I was never going to sell them, It's more, something that's important to me was taken, that I'll never give back, and I never even hada choice about it. Like i said, if she'd asked me beforehand, I'd have said Sure, because I'd know she really needed the money.
It's just left me feeling, well, honestly I have no clue. She has said that when my grandfather dies (which may be soon) that I'll definately get the sovereign that my grandfather is leaving to her, but, it's not the same, y'know?
I can't even really tell her how I feel or any of the points I made above because I know it's only going to make her feel worse, which won't accomplish anything.
I'd be furious too if someone did something like that to me ... and the fact that it's not really "like" your mom to do that makes it that much harder. Kudos to you for being willing to let it go. I think the most I'd say is to reiterate, "Mom, please, if ever you need money again, TELL me, okay?" It's pretty much closing the barn door after the horse is gone, but ...
I've got a few items like that (including the 'adopted' one).
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