Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Daisies

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Daisies

    For those not in the know, I work in a hospital gift shop. We are privately owned, and offer a wide variety of gifts which can be carried away via plastic sack, or delivered during our short window of delivery hours (1:30 PM - 2:30 PM).

    I received a call about 20 minutes ago from a "gentleman." This is how is went as best as I can remember.

    G = "Gentleman"
    M = Ever so cheerful, yet bored, gift shop employee (Me!)

    M: Gift shop, this is FenigDurak, how can I help you?
    G: I'd like to place an order.
    M: Sure! I want to let you know though, that while I can take the order right now, it will not be delivered until 1:30 tomorrow afternoon.
    G: That's fine.
    M: Great! Who is the recipient?
    G: Howard Johnson
    M: -=scribbling=- Alright, and your name?
    G: Jonathan
    M: Last name as it appears on the payment card?
    G: Long
    M: Thank you. What would you like to send today?
    G: Daisies.
    M: Do you know which room Mr. Johnson is in? -=I only ask because if they are in the ICU, I can't send flowers=-
    G: 238
    M: -=slight red flag, but I still peer inside flower cooler=- I have a modest arrangement with yellow daisies and spotted lilies for $24.95.
    G: I'll take that one.
    M: Ok. What would you like to say on the enclosure card?
    G: Here's hoping that you're pushing these up soon.
    M: -=writing all this down, struggling not to balk at what this guy just said so blithely=- Alright, and how would you like that signed?
    G: -=his voice a little different and very familiar=- You're not really going to send this, are you?
    M: If it's paid for, of course!
    G: FenigDurak, you know it's Boyfriend* right?
    M: -=faking it the whole way=- Sure do!

    Yeah, you read that right. My darling boyfriend called me at work, disguised his voice a little (and well) to "order flowers" for a National Hotel Chain. And I didn't even know he was dying!

    *Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent
    Tags: None
  • #2
    here, give him this from me...
    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

    Comment

    • #3
      As part of my part time photography company I designed a card with a really nice picture of a cemetery on the front.

      Open to the inside it says, "Wish you Were Here"

      It's not as popular as the same cemetery with "Get well soon it could be worse" or the same cemetery with "Smoking Section" . . .

      But it does sell better than the one with a picture of a guy nailing on a roof . . .and on the inside it says, "sorry to hear you have shingles"

      Oh well, Hallmark just wasn't meeting my needs . ..

      Comment

      • #4
        Even for an ebil message, it's clever. Cute, even! ^_^

        Ah, my favouritest card ever was of two women, one strangling the other (appearing like something out of a silent movie), with the inside saying, "Stop being younger than me, you bitch!"
        "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

        Comment

        • #5
          I was at FYE recently, and I found this card.

          Front: a picture of [President] Bush brand condoms and the start of an advertisement blurb
          Inside: "...For people who don't know when to pull out."

          I don't want to raise any political arguments, but that card was too funny not to share.

          Comment

          • #6
            There was something on the radio over here where they had a section of "What wouldn't a florist put on their cards?"

            Previously, they'd had a florist blithely write on a card for flowers to be delivered to a bank that it was a stick-up. Today, they managed to get someone to write down a message that they were being unfaithful, and in fact it was with the guy who was delivering the message...

            Rapscallion

            Comment

            • #7
              You know, there's a certain point where the person taking the order should actually engage their brain.

              The whole "stick up" one should never have passed being written down the first time and then vetoed. The "unfaithful" should have been a no-go as soon as it was clear it was for delivery and not to be picked up.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

              Comment

              • #8
                The first year my SO and I were dating he would call trying to book what he thought was unreasonable and crazy requests, and finally had to give up and say "it's me" He stopped doing it when he finally was in my office when someone at my desk was seriously inquiring about an even crazier unreasonable trip and that he had no idea the dept of cluelessness I deal with on a nearly daily basis.

                Quoth Bloodsoul View Post
                Ah, my favouritest card ever was of two women, one strangling the other (appearing like something out of a silent movie), with the inside saying, "Stop being younger than me, you bitch!"
                I sent that to my sis for her birthday.

                Comment

                Previous template Next
                Working...
                X