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I could sit here and type all day when I think of some of the SC's I used to encounter whan I worked 'petrol.' One that comes to mind right now is this one. Let me set the stage...
Place: Suburban Pittsburgh, PA.
Time: 2:00am
Date: January 1982
Temperature: -18°F (-28°C)(hereafter known as FRICKIN COLD!)
Wind-chill factor: -40°F (-40°C) How cold is -40°? Imagine spitting and when it hits the ground it bounces.
The gas station had a 2500 gallon (9464 liter) above-ground K1 (home use) kerosene tank that had been filled about 5 hours earlier in preparation for the cold night.
The station had a 10 gallon (38 liter) limit per person because of the extreme cold. Appropriate signs were posted.
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No sir, I'm sorry, I can only sell you 10 gallons. I don't care if you're buying it for yourself or your entire block.
No sir, I'm sorry, you have to take the cans out of your trunk and physically bring them to the pump and NOT simply pop your trunk release and give me a 'thumbs up' sign. If I have to stand out here in this FRICKIN COLD with 5 layers of clothing, 3 pairs of gloves and my battery-operated heated socks on, you can too.
No sir, I'm sorry, I can only sell you 10 gallons. I don't care if you're buying it for yourself or Governor Thornburgh.
Yes, it is cold enough you farkin asshat! It was cold enough for me when I had to put on a sweater back in September!
I'm sorry Ma'am, Pennsylvania law will not allow me to put petroleum products in mayonnaise or pickle jars. I also cannot put kerosene into cans marked Gasoline.
No sir, I'm sorry, I can only sell you 10 gallons. I don't care if you're buying it for yourself or President Reagan.
I know it's cold sir, I've been out here for 4 hours. I can't make the pump go any faster.
I'm sorry you only have your pajamas on. You still have to wait in line like everyone else.
Yes, it is cold enough you farkin asshat! My moustache broke off a half hour ago from the weight of the icicles hanging from it.
I know that kerosene has a higher flash point than gasoline. I'm still not pumping any kerosene until you put that cigarette out. I haven't had one in 4 hours, you can do without for 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but I already sold you 10 gallons an hour ago. How do I know? You're the only person in the whole freakin state with a 1959 Edsel with no trunk lid or back seat!
I'm sorry Ma'am, Pennsylvania law will not allow me to put petroleum products into milk jugs, wine bottles or that Coleman cooler.
Those were bad enough. Imagine running out of kerosene with a line of about 10 people waiting.
I'm sorry sir. Maybe you shouldn't have waited until 2 FREAKIN A.M. to get your kerosene!
No sir we cannot 'tip' the tank so we can get to the dregs at the bottom of it. That tank weighs more than your car, even IF it had a back seat and a trunk lid.
Sorry folks but we're out. A delivery is expected later this morning. No, I cannot refine 10 gallons real quick to help you out.
How can such a big tank be empty? I don't know. Gimme a second to think about that.
I don't know what you're supposed to do now. Let me suggest a few ideas.
1. TURN UP YOUR FREAKIN THERMOSTAT?
2. Rent a room at a hotel and call it a second honeymoon? (the song 'Third Rate Romance' comes to mind)
3. Sleep in your car? That is unless all the heat goes out because you don't have a trunklid or a back seat.
I realized that this has become too big to be a response to Mr. Singer's 'Petrol' thread so I started a new one.
Place: Suburban Pittsburgh, PA.
Time: 2:00am
Date: January 1982
Temperature: -18°F (-28°C)(hereafter known as FRICKIN COLD!)
Wind-chill factor: -40°F (-40°C) How cold is -40°? Imagine spitting and when it hits the ground it bounces.
The gas station had a 2500 gallon (9464 liter) above-ground K1 (home use) kerosene tank that had been filled about 5 hours earlier in preparation for the cold night.
The station had a 10 gallon (38 liter) limit per person because of the extreme cold. Appropriate signs were posted.
__________________________________________________ ____________
No sir, I'm sorry, I can only sell you 10 gallons. I don't care if you're buying it for yourself or your entire block.
No sir, I'm sorry, you have to take the cans out of your trunk and physically bring them to the pump and NOT simply pop your trunk release and give me a 'thumbs up' sign. If I have to stand out here in this FRICKIN COLD with 5 layers of clothing, 3 pairs of gloves and my battery-operated heated socks on, you can too.
No sir, I'm sorry, I can only sell you 10 gallons. I don't care if you're buying it for yourself or Governor Thornburgh.
Yes, it is cold enough you farkin asshat! It was cold enough for me when I had to put on a sweater back in September!
I'm sorry Ma'am, Pennsylvania law will not allow me to put petroleum products in mayonnaise or pickle jars. I also cannot put kerosene into cans marked Gasoline.
No sir, I'm sorry, I can only sell you 10 gallons. I don't care if you're buying it for yourself or President Reagan.
I know it's cold sir, I've been out here for 4 hours. I can't make the pump go any faster.
I'm sorry you only have your pajamas on. You still have to wait in line like everyone else.
Yes, it is cold enough you farkin asshat! My moustache broke off a half hour ago from the weight of the icicles hanging from it.
I know that kerosene has a higher flash point than gasoline. I'm still not pumping any kerosene until you put that cigarette out. I haven't had one in 4 hours, you can do without for 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but I already sold you 10 gallons an hour ago. How do I know? You're the only person in the whole freakin state with a 1959 Edsel with no trunk lid or back seat!
I'm sorry Ma'am, Pennsylvania law will not allow me to put petroleum products into milk jugs, wine bottles or that Coleman cooler.
Those were bad enough. Imagine running out of kerosene with a line of about 10 people waiting.
I'm sorry sir. Maybe you shouldn't have waited until 2 FREAKIN A.M. to get your kerosene!
No sir we cannot 'tip' the tank so we can get to the dregs at the bottom of it. That tank weighs more than your car, even IF it had a back seat and a trunk lid.
Sorry folks but we're out. A delivery is expected later this morning. No, I cannot refine 10 gallons real quick to help you out.
How can such a big tank be empty? I don't know. Gimme a second to think about that.
I don't know what you're supposed to do now. Let me suggest a few ideas.
1. TURN UP YOUR FREAKIN THERMOSTAT?
2. Rent a room at a hotel and call it a second honeymoon? (the song 'Third Rate Romance' comes to mind)
3. Sleep in your car? That is unless all the heat goes out because you don't have a trunklid or a back seat.
I realized that this has become too big to be a response to Mr. Singer's 'Petrol' thread so I started a new one.
I AM the evil bastard!
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