Ever had a "WTF moment"?

[ShinyGreenApple]

I remember ringing up an old man one time who was either taking some very poor shots at humor since he kept so serious the whole time, or he was a few fries short of a happy meal.

Me: "Hi, how are you today, sir?"

Weird old man: "Frankly I don't see how that's any of your business"

Me and several other customers: " . . . ."

He was purchasing a gift card to go out and buy gas at the Murphy's station in our lot, so I activated the card for him.

WOM: "This is gonna be on a credit card today. I have two credit cards you know, one is for gasoline and the other is for . . . baking soda, I guess."

[chainedbarista]

my time at the big green apron has given me too many 'wtf?' moments to keep straight, from customers, fellow coworkers (from other stores, if i had to work with these guys, i'd kill them), and the local 'color' or street people.

this was provided by the latter:

guy is walking past, greasy, unwashed, spaced out to the extreme, mumbling as he shuffles by; for some unknown reason, maybe dictated to him by cosmic forces, he stops, looks up at one of our hanging lights, then comes in.

i'm thinking, 'oh god, please just leave,' as he proceeds to reach up, filthy shirt in hand and WIPE off a spot (real or imaginary? you decide...) on the light. he then walks out, shirt in hand, as if nothing had happened.

hoookay...

[SCSlave]

And no, this woman was different to the "2 days is too long but 48 hours was good" woman...

That reminds me of a woman I had when I was working a cable call center.

Lady called in and was upset that her trouble ticket she just had put in was for 2 days out. She didn't want to wait 2 days, it was too long. She was rude, nasty, and screaming from the beginning. So to get her to shut up I changed the ticket to an emergency ticket and said "OK, ma'am..I have changed your ticket and someone will be out within 24 hours" And she went OFF. "ARE YOU STUPID? I said I will NOT wait 2 days!!" I said "Um...24 hours is not 2 days..its' one day" (Muted the call and said "Idiot") She then called me retarded, asked if I rode the short bus to school and said that she learned 24 hours is TWO days not one. Again, I said "Nope...it's ONE...midnight to midnight is one day....midnight to noon = 12 hours, noon to midnight = 12 hours....12+12=24....therefore...24 hours = 1 day." She STILL didn't get it...just went on screaming about how stupid I was and called me retarded 4 or 5 times....I finally just said "OK..well you have a good day" And hung up.

And yes, I DID change her stupid trouble ticket BACK to the 2 days out.

[myswtghst]

Good for you, SCSlave. Calling people retarded is just, wow, a whole level of rude I try to avoid.

I got a call last night, I still can't figure if he thought he was being sneaky/clever, or just ticked off, but the guy was talking to me in a normal-if-not-slightly-peeved tone of voice, then between sentences/while I was talking, muttering things like "$hit" and "Jesus Christ" under his breath. I was a bit slap happy, and ended up having to mute the phone, as this for some reason gave me the giggles.

[napoleana]

I have one for a coworker with magical powers. (He also got fired for being unbelievably bad at his job.) As background, I shall inform you that we have a few salads at <fancified fast food> and they are very popular, so if someone notices that coworkers are starting to pry frozen lettuce off the bottom and sides of the container (which is supposed to be unacceptable, but they never get called out on it), then that person had better finish what they are doing and refill the lettuce fast. Also: the route to the lettuce is awkward, and it's a big bin. If you are sharing the route with someone else, you will bump into them. It is impossible for two people to get lettuce at the same time and not know it.

So, I announce that I'm getting lettuce that I'd noticed we needed. My new coworker replies, "I got it," then wanders into a buffer zone of employees to finish his order, so I can't get a clearer answer. I look at the lettuce bin. It's empty save for the frozen nasty stuff. I look all around for the lettuce he "got," and end up feeling like a moron for wasting time looking for something that didn't exist, and I go and get the lettuce.

When I come back, the lettuce bin is FULL.

New Coworker laughs and says in a tone of "boy, are you stupid", "Ain't you heard me say I got it?" (You can see how I thought it was a miscommunication.) My shift leader then saw me going back with the lettuce and chastised me for not communicating with my coworkers and thus wasting time.

I'm sorry, I didn't know New Coworker had use of Hammer Space.

[Andara Bledin]

Ah, I can see where the problem came up in that one, Napoleana.

He was using "I got it" as in "I've got a handle on it and will do it" as opposed to the "I've gotten it" usage.

^-.-^

[DragonRose]

I had a fellow co-worker one....

It was my 2nd day on the job at the green apron, and I was being taught how to make the coffee based frappaccino mixes, on a VERY busy saturday afternoon. The following conversation ensues....

ME =
DC = Dippy co-worker
FM = Frazzled Manager

DC = So, you like pour this stuff in, and like, add water, and like mix for, like, a really really long time, but like, I don't really do that, just, like, til it looks ok, like.
ME = ok, no problem

(severely long pause while mixing)

ME=(out of desperation, making small talk) So where do you go to HS?
DC=XYZ school.
ME=That's a pretty good school, I went there.
DC=oh. (wow, she's a master of conversation, hmmm?)

(another long pause)

ME=So, how long have you worked here (ok, not brilliant, but my mind was going numb from all the mixing, not to mention I was hyped up on coffee)

DC=Oh! Like I don't know! Hold on let me ask.
ME= Wait! It was just-----
DC= FM, how long have I been working here, like cuz, dragonrose asked, and like I can't remember?
FM= What?!? (while trying to do 10 things at once) Not now DC.
(FM looks at me, irritated - did I mention it was busy? really, really busy? I look back in utter shock)
DC=DragonRose, FM can't tell me now.
ME= ok (utter silence follows)


Wow, what a brainiac. Someone never learned the art of small talk

[RedNailPolish]

I have a couple of good ones, both regarding what was actually *not* my department at the time.

"I need a blue jacket, like a blazer, so I can be a flag."
"Ok, we have these nice ones over here *shows her blazers the exact color of the sky that day, which was, indeed, BLUE*"
"Oh, no, dear, I'm afraid you misheard me. I wanted blue."
"Um...ok. How about navy blue?"
"No, that won't work, either. I want a blue blazer, not another color. I'll check somewhere else."

"I'm looking for a tank top." ...Ok, we have probably about 100ft of tank tops right now, in 6 departments, and that's just ladies.
"What kind of tank top?"
"One without sleeves." So, me, being the smartass I am, started picking up random tank tops off the racks until she got the hint and did her own shopping.

[Annichka]

I work for a cell phone company that has walkie-talkie mixed in with cellular service and everyday i got to translate what people say meaning their walkie- talkie (WT) some of these people even sound quite intelligent at first then they use the following words: beep-beep, chirp, blooper, talkie-walkie, beepy thingy, doodad, fast ring, etc... the first time i took a call like that a woman told me that the "blooper" wasn't working on her "nasa" phone ( the WT on the Nascar edition phone)

[Zell]

Oh man I had a perfect WTF moment the other day.

Me: Ma'am, I can take you over to my register so you don't have to wait in this long line.

CS: Oh, I know what's going on here. I know exactly what's going on here.

Me: ...???

CS: *whips out a disposable camera and takes a picture of a customer next to her* I know what's going on here!

CS: *leaves the store*

Me: WTF just happened?

[Daphne]

I had an elderly woman come up to the reference desk, and this is the exchange that occurred between her and my co-worker:

Crazy elderly woman: I just called for a taxi to come get me from here, and they said it would be 30 minutes. I can't wait that long. Is there anything you can do to make it get here faster?

Co-worker: No.

Crazy elderly woman: Don't you have car service? Can't someone here give me a ride?

Co-worker: Absolutely not.


Yes, car service is just one of the services provided by your local library. I fucking hate people.

[Zinjadu]

I had one yesterday evening. . .

I was ringing up and bagging a customer's order. She said to me, "You rang that kiwi up wrong. It's not that expensive."

She didn't have any kiwi, and I said so. She reached into the bag and pulled out a kiwano or 'horned' melon (pale orangey-yellow and has lots of pointy bumps or 'horns'), and told me that it was a kiwi.

I explained to her what it really was and that a kiwi is about one-quarter of that size, brown and fuzzy. She insisted it was a 'different type of kiwi'.

I showed her the sticker on the kiwano and even spelled it out for her. Finally I got her to believe me. Then of course she didn't want it anymore.

Jeez people, learn to read!!! Your illiteracy, while amusing, is also aggravating. And, btw, you're holding up my line.

[obscure_reference]

We had to post signs on our gas pumps that say "You may fill red gas cans only, by order of the fire marshal" , because of SCs bringing blue or yellow cans to fill, then yelling at us when we tell them they can't use them. (Blue are for kerosene, yellow are for diesel, neither of which our station carries.) The pumps already have stickers that explain this, but they're on the upper part of the pump where nobody can be bothered to read them, so we put these signs right by the nozzles.

This younger guy comes up and asks me a perplexing question:

"Do I need to go to the fire department to get gas cans?"



I actually asked him what he meant...

"You know, your signs there on the pumps say that!"

He seemed a little embarrassed after I explained the purpose of the signs. Nice enough guy, wasn't rude or anything...