If you haven't had any problem clients for a while and catch yourself thinking you might be out of that stage, think again!
Background: Client completely destroys his laptop computer, both hardware- and software-wise. We were talking back-and-forth about what he needed in a laptop should he buy one, but someone decides to give him one as a gift. He brings it to me to do a full rebuild and upgrade on the system. End background.
Client calls me last night around 5 PM wanting me to start the rebuild right that very minute. I don't usually work on weekends unless it's an emergency, but I figure I'd go ahead and take in the computer to see what kind of work I could get done while I had some downtime.
By 6, he rolls in with the laptop. I notice it's a system that's about three years older than the other laptop (which I have to spend time convincing him that November 2011 is, in fact, three years after October 2008), so I tell him it will probably take a little longer to rebuild the system due to the age of the hardware and the specs of the machine. Client says that's fine and starts to leave.
On the way out, I notice he hasn't put the parts in the bag he wants me to use to upgrade the system. Client says he'll go home and get the parts. He returns with the parts around 7:30 and then leaves.
After he's gone, I begin installing Windows. That takes around an hour, so it's roughly 8:30-8:45 at this point. Windows has to install several hundred updates, so that in itself takes 2-4 hours. By this point, it's after midnight, and I decide to turn in to go to sleep and let the computer do its thing overnight. I haven't even gotten into the file transfers, installing software the client wanted, and making this computer a clone of the old one.
I mention timing because it's pretty important in this case. Keep in mind that I've only put around three of the quoted 72 hours of work into this computer. If you've just remembered what site you're on, you know what's next.
I woke up this morning and checked my email. The client had sent me an email literally every hour asking me if I had his computer finished yet. If that wasn't enough, I was greeted with no less than eight voicemails from the client on the subject. The client said he really, really wanted his computer back.
Naturally, this pissed me off. The work was nowhere near done. I called the client to explain that he'd agreed to the quoted time, yet he was absolutely fucking persistent about getting his computer back two days ago. Fine, I thought, he can run Windows Update and install all his software by himself. I just wanted the pestering to be over.
We agreed to meet up in the parking lot of a store (which is about 15 minutes from here driving at a safe speed). No more than three minutes after I pulled out of my driveway, the client called and asked me if I was at the store yet. I assured him when I told him five minutes earlier in our previous call that I was on my way that I really meant it.
When I finally got to the store around 6 this afternoon and gave him back his computer, he refused to pay me. Yep, that's right, all this pestering and bullshit, and he didn't even pay me for the job. I told the client to never call me again.
But it gets worse...
It's currently around 9 right now. The client has called me not two, not three, but FOUR times in the last three hours complaining about things I didn't get done that I would've been able to do had they given me the time to do the work. Each time they've called, I've told them off. They keep calling. The most recent call was to accuse me of planting viruses in their Windows installation because George's Wonder Toolbar said so.
If you think it stops getting worse there, consider this: client has a degree in information technology. You read that right. This client just went to school and spent over $75,000 to graduate with a degree in IT, yet he can't go three hours without infecting his machine. I don't even have a degree, and I know not to click on everything that moves.
I love the majority of my clients, but when I get a Luser client, I really strike gold. In my many years of doing technology work on the side, this is, without a doubt, the worst ex-client I've ever had.
Background: Client completely destroys his laptop computer, both hardware- and software-wise. We were talking back-and-forth about what he needed in a laptop should he buy one, but someone decides to give him one as a gift. He brings it to me to do a full rebuild and upgrade on the system. End background.
Client calls me last night around 5 PM wanting me to start the rebuild right that very minute. I don't usually work on weekends unless it's an emergency, but I figure I'd go ahead and take in the computer to see what kind of work I could get done while I had some downtime.
By 6, he rolls in with the laptop. I notice it's a system that's about three years older than the other laptop (which I have to spend time convincing him that November 2011 is, in fact, three years after October 2008), so I tell him it will probably take a little longer to rebuild the system due to the age of the hardware and the specs of the machine. Client says that's fine and starts to leave.
On the way out, I notice he hasn't put the parts in the bag he wants me to use to upgrade the system. Client says he'll go home and get the parts. He returns with the parts around 7:30 and then leaves.
After he's gone, I begin installing Windows. That takes around an hour, so it's roughly 8:30-8:45 at this point. Windows has to install several hundred updates, so that in itself takes 2-4 hours. By this point, it's after midnight, and I decide to turn in to go to sleep and let the computer do its thing overnight. I haven't even gotten into the file transfers, installing software the client wanted, and making this computer a clone of the old one.
I mention timing because it's pretty important in this case. Keep in mind that I've only put around three of the quoted 72 hours of work into this computer. If you've just remembered what site you're on, you know what's next.
I woke up this morning and checked my email. The client had sent me an email literally every hour asking me if I had his computer finished yet. If that wasn't enough, I was greeted with no less than eight voicemails from the client on the subject. The client said he really, really wanted his computer back.
Naturally, this pissed me off. The work was nowhere near done. I called the client to explain that he'd agreed to the quoted time, yet he was absolutely fucking persistent about getting his computer back two days ago. Fine, I thought, he can run Windows Update and install all his software by himself. I just wanted the pestering to be over.
We agreed to meet up in the parking lot of a store (which is about 15 minutes from here driving at a safe speed). No more than three minutes after I pulled out of my driveway, the client called and asked me if I was at the store yet. I assured him when I told him five minutes earlier in our previous call that I was on my way that I really meant it.
When I finally got to the store around 6 this afternoon and gave him back his computer, he refused to pay me. Yep, that's right, all this pestering and bullshit, and he didn't even pay me for the job. I told the client to never call me again.
But it gets worse...
It's currently around 9 right now. The client has called me not two, not three, but FOUR times in the last three hours complaining about things I didn't get done that I would've been able to do had they given me the time to do the work. Each time they've called, I've told them off. They keep calling. The most recent call was to accuse me of planting viruses in their Windows installation because George's Wonder Toolbar said so.
If you think it stops getting worse there, consider this: client has a degree in information technology. You read that right. This client just went to school and spent over $75,000 to graduate with a degree in IT, yet he can't go three hours without infecting his machine. I don't even have a degree, and I know not to click on everything that moves.
I love the majority of my clients, but when I get a Luser client, I really strike gold. In my many years of doing technology work on the side, this is, without a doubt, the worst ex-client I've ever had.
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