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OK So I haven't posted much on here, so for those of you who don't know, I own a small Pet Supplies store that also has aquarium fish.
[Backstory] Now, I live in a strange area, Jervis Bay, which is NSW Coast, boasts some famous beaches and marine parks. and that kind of description normally attracts high class kind of residents, but you see in my little corner of Jervis Bay, Sanctuary Point, there is a lot of community housing and the like. I won't go into too many details to avoid sounding like a snob, but suffice it to say that Sanctuary Point would be something akin to shrinking Nunavut and placing it in the middle of Miami. Only it's a small town, the kind where the post office is also the video store.[/backstory]
Summary: In my store, I get some yuppies and I get some hosebeasts. Mostly just unemployed shoeless gronks.
Catch 22
A lady comes in, and begins asking the kind of generic questions (ie "what do you have here), the kind of questions that leads me to begin to astral project and hover around the ceiling somewhere until the offender goes away.
SC: So what kind of dog food do you have here? (go go gadget outer-body experience...)
Me: Well, we have dry dog kibble, tinned food and dog meat
SC: Oh, I mean what kind of dog meat do you have.
Me: Oh, well we have Beef, Roo or Chicken mince, Chicken necks, and Chicken wing tips.
SC: Wing tips? What are they?
... See now, that's clever. I see what you did there. This is the checkmate of retail customer service. Now, I can't actually correctly answer that question without using the words "wing tips", which would guarantee me just sounding like a smart ass. I also can't just ignore you, because you will simply repeat your checkmate question. I could choose option c, which is to remain in my non corporeal state where I am hovering around the ceiling, actually venture OUT the window and into the sky and beyond, abandoning my body and thereby avoiding you and all of your kin altogether for the rest of time. However, this option leaves open the possibility that there are actually MORE of you "out there", and my spirit will come across one. I'm pretty sure you can't astral project from an astral projection, so where would that leave me?
I concede defeat.
The definition of Irony.
SC: Hi, I need some Pimafix. (a fish medication for various diseases.)
Me: Sure, right this way.
SC: You know, this is really good stuff. On the forums that I go to, they keep calling it Primafix though! Wonder why they always call it Primafix!? I mean, people are so stupid sometimes.
Me: Heh, must just be one of those words that people always get wrong.
SC: Haha yeah, It's just chinese whiskers, isn't it?
Yes, I guarantee you she said WHISKERS. Although, to be fair, I was still reeling from the fact that she actually knew what a forum WAS, much less knew how to communicate on one. Unless she was talking about an actual forum, like they used to have in ancient Rome, with all the politics and the murdering. One can only hope.
Knee high to an SC
We sell dog coats, which are pretty much exactly what they sound like, coats for dogs. As you can imagine, they go on the dogs back, and therefore the measurements for the coats are dependent on the length of the dog. This is obvious as soon as you see the coats, and probably obvious anyway.
SC comes in and starts rummaging through the dog coats. Holding them up and checking them out.
Me: Hi, can I help you there?
SC: Oh, I'm just looking for a coat for my dog. What have you got?
Me: Well, what size is your dog roughly?
SC: Well.. about this tall. *hand up to her knees*
Me: OK... well, it actually goes on how LONG they are... what sort of dog is it?
SC: Oh, its a medium.
Just... OK, let's do some math here. It's calculator time for SC. There are roughly 400 dog breeds in the world, which would give "medium" an umbrella of about 130 breeds. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I doubt that each and every dog of a particular breed are exactly the same length from neck to tail, let alone 130 different breeds of "medium" size. Also, I betcha by golly wow that if I DID sell you one of these "medium" coats you would be just the type to bring it back in half an hour and complain bitterly that it didn't fit.
Thingmebob.
So, normally when someone comes in to my shop, some kind of verbal communication ensues almost immediately. It might be as simple as "just looking", or it could be a 2-hour epic convo about my guild's raiding schedule. You just never know. What I NEVER expected though, is this.
SC: *walks in and stares at me*
Me:.Hi!
SC:..........
Me:..........
SC:...........
Me:.........
SC: uh....
Me:.....
SC: What was I thinking about?
Me: ... uh.. I dunno, hehe.
SC: ...........
Me:...........
SC: THINGMEBOB!!
Me: ....
SC: U got em?
Me: Got what?
SC: *walks around counter and starts looking at the dog treats*
Me: What were you after sorry?
SC: LETTUCE!!~
Me:... (pretty certain he didn't mean lettuce)... you mean, dog treat?
SC: You got the thingmebob?
Me: I'm not sure what you mean sorry.... do you mean pigs ears? (which i was out of)
SC: YES!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh, heh, sorry I'm actually out of those, I'll have them at about 3 this afternoon.
SC: BWUAHAAHAHAHH! *Starts leaving*
Me: Ok, I might see you later then.
SC: OK! AHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH! HAHAHA!@~
I don't think this one requires a clever summary of my thoughts. They pretty much went like this:
There's more, I'll pace them out :P
[Backstory] Now, I live in a strange area, Jervis Bay, which is NSW Coast, boasts some famous beaches and marine parks. and that kind of description normally attracts high class kind of residents, but you see in my little corner of Jervis Bay, Sanctuary Point, there is a lot of community housing and the like. I won't go into too many details to avoid sounding like a snob, but suffice it to say that Sanctuary Point would be something akin to shrinking Nunavut and placing it in the middle of Miami. Only it's a small town, the kind where the post office is also the video store.[/backstory]
Summary: In my store, I get some yuppies and I get some hosebeasts. Mostly just unemployed shoeless gronks.
Catch 22
A lady comes in, and begins asking the kind of generic questions (ie "what do you have here), the kind of questions that leads me to begin to astral project and hover around the ceiling somewhere until the offender goes away.
SC: So what kind of dog food do you have here? (go go gadget outer-body experience...)
Me: Well, we have dry dog kibble, tinned food and dog meat
SC: Oh, I mean what kind of dog meat do you have.
Me: Oh, well we have Beef, Roo or Chicken mince, Chicken necks, and Chicken wing tips.
SC: Wing tips? What are they?
... See now, that's clever. I see what you did there. This is the checkmate of retail customer service. Now, I can't actually correctly answer that question without using the words "wing tips", which would guarantee me just sounding like a smart ass. I also can't just ignore you, because you will simply repeat your checkmate question. I could choose option c, which is to remain in my non corporeal state where I am hovering around the ceiling, actually venture OUT the window and into the sky and beyond, abandoning my body and thereby avoiding you and all of your kin altogether for the rest of time. However, this option leaves open the possibility that there are actually MORE of you "out there", and my spirit will come across one. I'm pretty sure you can't astral project from an astral projection, so where would that leave me?
I concede defeat.
The definition of Irony.
SC: Hi, I need some Pimafix. (a fish medication for various diseases.)
Me: Sure, right this way.
SC: You know, this is really good stuff. On the forums that I go to, they keep calling it Primafix though! Wonder why they always call it Primafix!? I mean, people are so stupid sometimes.
Me: Heh, must just be one of those words that people always get wrong.
SC: Haha yeah, It's just chinese whiskers, isn't it?
Yes, I guarantee you she said WHISKERS. Although, to be fair, I was still reeling from the fact that she actually knew what a forum WAS, much less knew how to communicate on one. Unless she was talking about an actual forum, like they used to have in ancient Rome, with all the politics and the murdering. One can only hope.
Knee high to an SC
We sell dog coats, which are pretty much exactly what they sound like, coats for dogs. As you can imagine, they go on the dogs back, and therefore the measurements for the coats are dependent on the length of the dog. This is obvious as soon as you see the coats, and probably obvious anyway.
SC comes in and starts rummaging through the dog coats. Holding them up and checking them out.
Me: Hi, can I help you there?
SC: Oh, I'm just looking for a coat for my dog. What have you got?
Me: Well, what size is your dog roughly?
SC: Well.. about this tall. *hand up to her knees*
Me: OK... well, it actually goes on how LONG they are... what sort of dog is it?
SC: Oh, its a medium.
Just... OK, let's do some math here. It's calculator time for SC. There are roughly 400 dog breeds in the world, which would give "medium" an umbrella of about 130 breeds. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I doubt that each and every dog of a particular breed are exactly the same length from neck to tail, let alone 130 different breeds of "medium" size. Also, I betcha by golly wow that if I DID sell you one of these "medium" coats you would be just the type to bring it back in half an hour and complain bitterly that it didn't fit.
Thingmebob.
So, normally when someone comes in to my shop, some kind of verbal communication ensues almost immediately. It might be as simple as "just looking", or it could be a 2-hour epic convo about my guild's raiding schedule. You just never know. What I NEVER expected though, is this.
SC: *walks in and stares at me*
Me:.Hi!
SC:..........
Me:..........
SC:...........
Me:.........
SC: uh....
Me:.....
SC: What was I thinking about?
Me: ... uh.. I dunno, hehe.
SC: ...........
Me:...........
SC: THINGMEBOB!!
Me: ....
SC: U got em?
Me: Got what?
SC: *walks around counter and starts looking at the dog treats*
Me: What were you after sorry?
SC: LETTUCE!!~
Me:... (pretty certain he didn't mean lettuce)... you mean, dog treat?
SC: You got the thingmebob?
Me: I'm not sure what you mean sorry.... do you mean pigs ears? (which i was out of)
SC: YES!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh, heh, sorry I'm actually out of those, I'll have them at about 3 this afternoon.
SC: BWUAHAAHAHAHH! *Starts leaving*
Me: Ok, I might see you later then.
SC: OK! AHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH! HAHAHA!@~
I don't think this one requires a clever summary of my thoughts. They pretty much went like this:
There's more, I'll pace them out :P
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