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  • #61
    Granted. You are now a Columbian drug lord (ala Bedazzled) with a wife that doesn't love you and a rival drug lord getting ready to off you.

    I wish the other members of my motor club hadn't skipped the car show today.
    "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

    RIP Plaidman.

    Comment

    • #62
      Quoth Dave1982 View Post
      I wish the other members of my motor club hadn't skipped the car show today.
      Granted, but when one of their cars caught fire as a result of an electrical fault, it wound up destroying all the vehicles at the car show (including yours), rather than just his car and the pavement in front of his house.

      I wish my dispatcher would understand the concept of "hours of service" regulations.
      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

      Comment

      • #63
        Granted! But now you will get more and more calls within that time.


        I wish I didn't have to open tomorrow!
        "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

        I belly dance with tall Goblins!

        Comment

        • #64
          Granted. As a condition of granting this wish, you must work your next shift sporting the old, smelly, moldy Grimace costume.

          I wish I had semi-competent co-workers.
          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

          Comment

          • #65
            Granted, but their improved efficiency means you've just lost your job.

            I wish people would just say what they mean
            "I'll probably come round and steal the food out of your fridge later too, then run a key down the side of your car as I walk away from your house, which I've idly set ablaze" - Mil Millington

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            • #66
              Granted- they are all extremely hateful and mean people now who speak their minds.

              I wish this migraine would go away.
              It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. -Office space

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              • #67
                Granted. You've traded it for a stomach flu.

                I wish I could vent my anger on the person it is directed at.
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                Comment

                • #68
                  Granted. But their ventilation system went faulty and it spread everywhere.

                  I wish I were on vacation at the beach right now . . .
                  Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                  Comment

                  • #69
                    Granted. But it's raining and you're not allowed to leave the beach.

                    I wish dinner was ready.
                    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                    Comment

                    • #70
                      Granted. However, it's fugu and the person who prepared it was overheard repeatedly asking "Does this look like a liver to you?"

                      I wish the Milwaukee Brewers didn't suck so much.
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                      Comment

                      • #71
                        Granted. Now they blow.


                        I wish Hollywood could make a decent film again.
                        "For the love of all that is holy and 4 things that aren’t but feel pretty good anyway" ~ Gravekeeper

                        Comment

                        • #72
                          Granted. Now it can only be seen once and all the tickets are sold out before you can get them.

                          I wish I could sleep well for once!
                          "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

                          I belly dance with tall Goblins!

                          Comment

                          • #73
                            Quoth McGoddess09 View Post
                            I wish I could sleep well for once!
                            As you wish.

                            You sleep undisturbed for untold years until finally awakened by some lout of a prince who goes around kissing girls who essentially look dead.

                            I wish my wife and I could find a decent farm property.

                            Comment

                            • #74
                              Quoth sms001 View Post
                              I wish my wife and I could find a decent farm property.
                              Granted. Welcome to Green Acres.

                              I wish I hadn't been stood up tonight.
                              "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

                              RIP Plaidman.

                              Comment

                              • #75
                                Granted. Your date for the night is Rosie O'Donnell.

                                I wish for peace on Earth.
                                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                                Comment

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