Why do they keep making our phone greeting LONGER??

[wraiths_crono]

"Good morning/afternoon, <company name>"

And our company name is a single 4-letter word.

Sweet.

I love my friends companies name: phuhque.com his voice mail and phone greeting are awesome

[ApolloSZ]

At my old job, (Outsourced IT) we had one customer whose greeting we had to use was
"Welcome to MED service Desk, your speaking with ApolloSZ, how can I help?"
(My real name is about 11 characters long)
This was borderline as it was, until they tried saying it had to be
"Welcome to the Ministry of Economic Development service desk, your speaking with ApolloSZ, how can I help?"


Thankfully our manager put the kibosh on that one.

[mandaliz8704]

This was always a good one at 7:30am on a Monday:

"Good Morning, and thank you for calling Lexus of Palm Beach, 9 time winner of the Elite of Lexus award for outstanding customer service, This is Mandaliz speaking, how may I help you?"

People usually thought I was a machine.

[joe hx]

Old pizza place:

Thank you, thank you for calling <old pizza place>, home of the large five dollar special, this is Joe speaking, would you like to try the five dollar special?

New pizza place:

Thank you for calling <new pizza place>, this is Joe speaking, can I help you?

[telecom_goddess]

I love my job, I never get calls from customers. I deal with field techs and testers from incumbent phone companies. I answer with <company name>, this is <my name>. Half the time I know who it is calling me anyway cause I see the caller id and I'm expecting it so I can just say "hi"

[EmiOfBrie]

When I used to work for DecisionOne taking calls for Ameritech, people often told me I sounded like a machine...I didn't believe them.

...then I heard the machine! O.o It *did* sound like me!

[ShadowTiger]

My store has implemented a relatively short greeting for phone answering, though nobody likes it obviously. ("Welcome to <Store Owner's> <Hardware Store>, this is <name> speaking, how may I help you?") Nobody ever remembers our name, and I've definitely had people say "Yeah yeah, I don't care who owns it, just see if you have <absurd item> in stock," or "Stop, just stop, I've heard it before."

I am actually particularly averse to the new phone greeting, as I have a particularly bad speech impediment. I make daily life work by being in person, smiling, being supportive, helping people carry things, and just being sweet enough to cause cavities from a distance, ... but on the phone, your voice is all you hear, y'know? I mean I really don't want to get fired just because when someone wants me to pick up a phone for something, I pick it up and they hear nothing from me on their end, and on my end, it looks like I'm having a seizure. No, I'd actually rather just do it my way, and actually answer the question without any impeding formalities.

[Plague*Star]

I got suckered into relieving our receptionist for lunch 3 days a week (not really a problem, I'd do anything for that sweetheart) , and I love our greeting.

"Good morning/afternoon, <company name>"

And our company name is a single 4-letter word.

Sweet.

There was/ is a law firm in Albany, NY that used to advertise a lot on TV/Radio.
The firm's name was somthing like:
"Finklestein, Levine, Giddellson and Tettenbaum"
I always wondered how long their receptionists stayed.

P*S