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This one's a doozie. And a dookie, too.
About a month ago, a woman came to our establishment and purchased merchandise to be shipped to her home, out of state (Louisiana). She was in her 50's or so, was sort of an aging Southern Belle type - very high maintenance, with designer bag, frosty helmet-hair, too much perfume, etc. She was buying quite a bit, so I was trying to be helpful and un-pushy. I was lugging around her merchandise from aisle to aisle, fetching things for her when she pointed, etc. I was trying to be patient and accommodating, but was definitely put off by her very stoic, cool, and haughty demeanor. There just wasn't any reason for it and she seemed quite self-entitled. I just told myself I had dealt with far worse - her attitude was more annoying than infuriating, anyway. At one point, she asked to use our restroom and we let her (we don't like to extend this courtesy since most patrons seem to make the room a Jackson Pollock with their urine, but we felt obligated).
She comes out of the restroom, says she's going out for a moment, she'd like to see what out competitor has to offer, down the street.
What does one say to such a thing? My middle finger was ready to spring, but I resisted.
After she leaves, my employee goes to use the bathroom, comes back out, looking infuriated and disgusted, and informs me that there is a turd the size of a Christmas yule log on the floor.
It looked to him as if she had dropped one on the floor and then nudged / rolled it behind the toilet bowl to hide it. The poor thing put on a carpenter's dusk mask (as if that would help diminish the stink) and proceeded to poop-scoop.
Lady came back from her comparison-shopping with our competitor, and coolly ordered me around the store some more. I finally rang her up things, and she was on her way, nose held up high as she breezed out the door. None of us mentioned the gorgeous gift she had left in our bathroom. I figured it was best to forgive only because she knew exactly what she had done and I had nothing to gain by humiliating her further.
Lady calls a week later. She'd like to know the name of our competitor down the street. She's forgotten. Also, do we have their phone number???
Lady calls up yesterday. I was out of the office at the time, but she got my mother on the phone. Apparently, she had complaints about a couple things.
Complaint #1) She's dissatisfied with the quality/construction of the merchandise. (Er, this is 4 weeks after receiving the items, BTW). She demands a return.
Complaint #2) Why had I given her a discount on her bill? She had never asked for a discount! (I had given her an automatic discount on some items since that is our general store policy for big sales over $500. Well, kiss my grits bitch, it was an act of goodwill!)
Complaint #3) She demands that we fax her a copy of the invoice (even though I had given her the original the first time she'd been in). We try to fax it, but it just rings and rings and never picks up. Lady calls us and tells us there is something wrong with our fax machine. We keep her on the phone while we fax it a 2nd time (we hit "redial" on the fax machine, mind you). It goes through. Obviously, there was nothing wrong with our machine. She just likes to tell everyone else that they are wrong, they are to blame, they suck.
Lady says she's calling American Express (the charge card she had used) and filing a complaint against us for our rude service.
I ask you this: COULD THERE BE ANYTHING RUDER THAN TAKING A SHIT ON SOMEBODY'S FLOOR, AND THEN COMPLAINING THAT YOU WERE OFFENDED BY THE GENEROUS DISCOUNT ON YOUR BILL???
I should have saved that turd so I could Fed Ex it back to her...
About a month ago, a woman came to our establishment and purchased merchandise to be shipped to her home, out of state (Louisiana). She was in her 50's or so, was sort of an aging Southern Belle type - very high maintenance, with designer bag, frosty helmet-hair, too much perfume, etc. She was buying quite a bit, so I was trying to be helpful and un-pushy. I was lugging around her merchandise from aisle to aisle, fetching things for her when she pointed, etc. I was trying to be patient and accommodating, but was definitely put off by her very stoic, cool, and haughty demeanor. There just wasn't any reason for it and she seemed quite self-entitled. I just told myself I had dealt with far worse - her attitude was more annoying than infuriating, anyway. At one point, she asked to use our restroom and we let her (we don't like to extend this courtesy since most patrons seem to make the room a Jackson Pollock with their urine, but we felt obligated).
She comes out of the restroom, says she's going out for a moment, she'd like to see what out competitor has to offer, down the street.
What does one say to such a thing? My middle finger was ready to spring, but I resisted.After she leaves, my employee goes to use the bathroom, comes back out, looking infuriated and disgusted, and informs me that there is a turd the size of a Christmas yule log on the floor.
It looked to him as if she had dropped one on the floor and then nudged / rolled it behind the toilet bowl to hide it. The poor thing put on a carpenter's dusk mask (as if that would help diminish the stink) and proceeded to poop-scoop.Lady came back from her comparison-shopping with our competitor, and coolly ordered me around the store some more. I finally rang her up things, and she was on her way, nose held up high as she breezed out the door. None of us mentioned the gorgeous gift she had left in our bathroom. I figured it was best to forgive only because she knew exactly what she had done and I had nothing to gain by humiliating her further.
Lady calls a week later. She'd like to know the name of our competitor down the street. She's forgotten. Also, do we have their phone number???
Lady calls up yesterday. I was out of the office at the time, but she got my mother on the phone. Apparently, she had complaints about a couple things.
Complaint #1) She's dissatisfied with the quality/construction of the merchandise. (Er, this is 4 weeks after receiving the items, BTW). She demands a return.
Complaint #2) Why had I given her a discount on her bill? She had never asked for a discount! (I had given her an automatic discount on some items since that is our general store policy for big sales over $500. Well, kiss my grits bitch, it was an act of goodwill!)
Complaint #3) She demands that we fax her a copy of the invoice (even though I had given her the original the first time she'd been in). We try to fax it, but it just rings and rings and never picks up. Lady calls us and tells us there is something wrong with our fax machine. We keep her on the phone while we fax it a 2nd time (we hit "redial" on the fax machine, mind you). It goes through. Obviously, there was nothing wrong with our machine. She just likes to tell everyone else that they are wrong, they are to blame, they suck.
Lady says she's calling American Express (the charge card she had used) and filing a complaint against us for our rude service.
I ask you this: COULD THERE BE ANYTHING RUDER THAN TAKING A SHIT ON SOMEBODY'S FLOOR, AND THEN COMPLAINING THAT YOU WERE OFFENDED BY THE GENEROUS DISCOUNT ON YOUR BILL???
I should have saved that turd so I could Fed Ex it back to her...
Hey, you got that one started 
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