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  • Broke the internet

    Only a short one, I promise. I should note at this point, this is NOT my customer. I was queuing in a computer shop called “Overclockers” waiting for them to get the stuff I wanted. Coolant and a Fan when suddenly this guy comes bursting in all panicked and runs up to the counter

    SC: Stupid customer
    OCG: OverClockers Guy

    SC: *runs up to the counter panting* You gotta Help me!!
    Me: o.O ?
    OCG: Woah…ok. Calm down. What’s wrong?!
    SC: I Broke the internet!!
    Me: Uh…?
    OCG: say again?
    SC: My friend was on the phone to me, he dared me to type Google into Google, I did, it came up “Page cannot be displayed” I looked at my modem and the light that said “Cable” had gone out
    Me: *Trys not to burst out with laughter*
    OCG: *Looks at me and tries to contain himself*
    SC: I Have my computer in my car. Will it be needed for evidence?!
    OCG: No, mate. No need to worry. Your friend is winding you up, and has done a good job, by the looks of it. Typing Google into Google doesn’t do anything except give you a list of Google services. Your cable light probably went out because of a technical fault
    SC: are you sure?!
    OCG: I’m sure
    SC: *Turns to me who has gone back to reading a netgear magazine* is he right?
    Me: *Still trying not to laugh* yeah. You’re friend’s stitched you up something chronic
    SC: I’mna Kill him *storms out*
    Me: (To the Overclockers guy) We’re gonna hear about his friend on the news tonight, aren’t we?
    OCG: I would not be in the least bit surprised if we did
    -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

    Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

    A guide for customers about retail

  • #2
    I give you and the OCG kudos for not laughing in the guy's face. I spewed pop all over the place reading that myself!
    "It's not what your doing so much as the idiotic way your doing it." Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy 7.

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    • #3
      Quoth Mamadrae View Post
      I give you and the OCG kudos for not laughing in the guy's face. I spewed pop all over the place reading that myself!
      I've been in overclockers a few times, they really do have to put up with a lot of crap from customers, but it's the first time I have seen that XD

      thanks for the kudos :3
      -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

      Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

      A guide for customers about retail

      Comment


      • #4
        I really like his friend.

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        • #5
          I just typed google into google and all of a sudd...

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          • #6
            Idiot plus malicious friend =

            I like malicious sibling stories better though. And my favourite ever also involves someone being convinced they'd broken something.

            Friend of a friend gets home to find her younger son bawling his eyes out, clutching his bottom. Older son is looking slightly guilty but very amused. Eventually works out that something like this occurred :

            SOS - Sophisticated older son
            NYS - Naive young son

            SOS - "You broke your bottom"
            NYS - ?
            SOS - You broke your bottom. Mum's going to be so mad at you.
            NYS - I didn't !
            SOS - Yes you did. It's got a crack in it !

            Carried on until he persuaded the younger brother (around 4 or 5) that he really had broken his bottom, caused himself some terrible harm and was going to get into terrible trouble when his mother came home.

            The mother had some trouble punishing the older son for this, because it is impossible not to find it funny, and rather admire it.

            Victoria J

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            • #7
              Quoth Victoria J View Post
              SOS - "You broke your bottom"
              NYS - ?
              SOS - You broke your bottom. Mum's going to be so mad at you.
              NYS - I didn't !
              SOS - Yes you did. It's got a crack in it !
              My older brother used to try to pull that one on me, but it never worked because I never trusted him...I wander why

              ...no, my brother used to get me when we got our first computer with a sound card (we had other computers, but not one that had the luxury of sound...and a CDROM drive too! Cookie for those who can tell me what year it was lol) he would get the microphone and convince me to swear into it...then save it and play it back to mum later.
              Last edited by Ree; 05-25-2008, 07:32 PM. Reason: Excessive quoting
              -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

              Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

              A guide for customers about retail

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth AdvancedFlea View Post
                ...no, my brother used to get me when we got our first computer with a sound card (we had other computers, but not one that had the luxury of sound...and a CDROM drive too! Cookie for those who can tell me what year it was lol)
                mmmmhhhh, as I recall. Computers always had sound. Maybe not fancy sound. But they did do alot of beep.beep.beep

                If I had to guess, I would say around 1985 maybe even closer to 1990. Depending on how much money your family had to waste on computers

                My TI 99/4A had a speech synthesizer and that was before 3.5 floppys, before double side 5.25 floppy. I still have the single side 5.25 floppy drive for it so I don't have to use the "tape".
                I've lost my mind ages ago. If you find it, please hide it.

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                • #9
                  My brother convinced a friend to go to the hardware store and ask for some fallopian tubing. (same friend also fell for the metric crescent wrench bit)

                  And my son once managed to convince my daughter that he had bought all of the upstairs from his dad and I, including her room. (she was young)

                  "You'd feel a Hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer."
                  ~Clerks

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                  • #10
                    Quoth LostMyMind View Post
                    mmmmhhhh, as I recall. Computers always had sound. Maybe not fancy sound. But they did do alot of beep.beep.beep

                    If I had to guess, I would say around 1985 maybe even closer to 1990.
                    I said sound CARD as in multimedia sound CARD...don't be like some of my customers, now! :-P and no, you were closer with 1990 but not quite on the money ^^; computers didn't really come with sound cards before then and damn sure the operating system didn't know how to handle recording

                    Quoth SuperB View Post
                    My brother convinced a friend to go to the hardware store and ask for some fallopian tubing. (same friend also fell for the metric crescent wrench bit)
                    lol. we do a few like that where I work. we have a B&Q on the same retail park as us so we turn to the naive newbies and say stuff like;

                    "Could you go to B&Q and get some elbow grease?"
                    "Do me a favor, go to B&Q's help desk and ask for a glass mallet"
                    "I need some rubber/glass nails. Rekon you could go get some for me?"

                    the best one was we got a guy to drive all the way across town for "A special chemical that is require. you can buy it from one shop..." (I forget what the name of the place was, but it was somthing obsqure) "... the chemical is acetaminophen" ...he was not too happy when he found out he had driven 10 miles across the other side of town for paracetamol which he could have got from the chemist just off our retail park XD
                    Last edited by Ree; 05-25-2008, 07:35 PM. Reason: Excessive quoting
                    -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

                    Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

                    A guide for customers about retail

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm gonna guess 1992 or 1993?

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                      • #12
                        Quoth xaenon View Post
                        I'm gonna guess 1992 or 1993?
                        1993. hole in one...or near enough
                        -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

                        Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

                        A guide for customers about retail

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth AdvancedFlea View Post
                          I said sound CARD as in multimedia sound CARD...don't be like some of my customers, now! :-P and no, you were closer with 1990 but not quite on the money ^^; computers didn't really come with sound cards before then and damn sure the operating system didn't know how to handle recording
                          Quoth AdvancedFlea View Post
                          1993. hole in one...or near enough

                          I had a Mockingboard sound card for my Apple //e computer in the mid-1980s. I don't think it had a recording feature.

                          The Sound Blaster sound card was introduced in November 1987. It did have a microphone input and could record sound. By the time 1993 rolled around, the Sound Blaster sound cards had been through at least seven generations.
                          "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                          • #14
                            Windows 95 was not the first OS to come up with the idea of recording sound or playing CDs
                            Last edited by froglet; 05-24-2008, 03:31 AM. Reason: clarifying a thought
                            "If you find yourself fantasizing about throwing actual users into a blender, please get help... they're heavy." - Tom Dickson

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Victoria J View Post
                              SOS - "You broke your bottom"
                              etc...

                              My dad would try to convince us kids that if you weren't careful you could unscrew your belly button and your bum would fall off. And then you'd explode from not being able to poop.

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