Fresh fives

[Aramika]

I rang up an annoying lady the other day. She wasn't annoying until the end of the transaction when she was getting cashback.

Me: Your lovable grocery store clerk
AL: Annoying Lady
NL: Nice Lady in line behind AL

My cash drawer pops open.
Me: How would you like your cash back?
AL: Fives.
I hand her her cash.
AL: *Looks at her fives.* Can I have fresh fives?
Me: Erm, what?
AL: I want fresh fives, these are old. I like to collect fives so I want fresh ones.
Since my drawer is now closed, I have to go to a specific menu and punch in a code. I do this and open my drawer.
Me: *Looks at my fives. Crap, they're all old. Now she's gonna be pissed. This should be fuuuuun. * Ma'am, the fives I gave you are the best ones that I have, I'm sorry.
AL: Well what do you expect me to do?
Me: You could go to the bank, they probably have fresher () fives than I do.
AL: But I don't want to go to the bank, it always takes too long. *Sighs.*
Me: No it won't, trust me.
AL: Yes it will. *Sighs (again).* You people are just so unhelpful! *Leaves.*
Me: *Finally* Have a nice day!
NL: Dumb old fart, why didn't she just go to the bank?
Me: No clue.
I ring up NL.
NL: Oh, and I'm getting cashback. Can I have fives please? And I don't care if they're fresh.
Me: Yes ma'am.

You may be wondering why I knew it wouldn't take very long at the bank. It's because the bank is inside of my store. It's at the front of the store, near the registers. My register is the closest one to it actually. Only about 5 FEET away.

[Aethian]

I know some people who like fresh bills because they give them in cards for presents...but to collect them? I wonder how big her 'collection' is now...

[Apathy]

AL: Well what do you expect me to do?

Leave with your change, idiot. Honestly.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I know some people who like fresh bills because they give them in cards for presents...but to collect them? I wonder how big her 'collection' is now...

Ah-wuh? If I'm getting money in a card, I don't care if the bill is a brand new one, or wrinkled and limp from being passed around since 1974. 20 bucks is 20 bucks!

[RetailWorkhorse]

I know some people who like fresh bills because they give them in cards for presents...but to collect them? I wonder how big her 'collection' is now...

*Digs for collection*

I don't have any fives, sorry. I got an original (meaning no letter) 1963 ten dollar bill, a reprint 1957 (A) 1 Silver Certificate, 32 2$ bills (dated 1979-2003), various silver dimes, nickels, and quarters, a couple silver dollars and a whole roll of half dollars. Also have two steel pennies and a whole roll of bicentennial quarters.

[Lachrymose]

"Fresh" fives: Where Honest Abe is winking at you.

[KaeZoo]

I practice the old "I Dream Of Jeannie" arm cross - head bob - blink act exactly for this type of situation. "Okay, just a moment..." <blink> "...sorry, still no fresh fives."

If only I could do the "Bewitched" nose wiggle, but I think they used string or something.

[crazylegs]

I think she wanted you to run a quick batch off the federal printing press you have under your desk.

What?

Doesn't everyone have one?

<.<
>.>

[BookstoreEscapee]

AL: Well what do you expect me to do?

Well, what do you expect me to do?

My cousin got married last weekend and I wanted to put a $100 bill in the card. So naturally I wanted a nice crisp bill. So you know what I did? You'll never guess. Come on..try.... Oh, OK, I'll tell you...


I went to the bank.

[Aethian]

*Digs for collection*

I don't have any fives, sorry. I got an original (meaning no letter) 1963 ten dollar bill, a reprint 1957 (A) 1 Silver Certificate, 32 2$ bills (dated 1979-2003), various silver dimes, nickels, and quarters, a couple silver dollars and a whole roll of half dollars. Also have two steel pennies and a whole roll of bicentennial quarters.

Nice, I've got quite a collection myself but don't know whats in it. Grandpa left it for me and Mom put what I was given of it in the bank. My idiot Uncle split it up and gave the rest to his sons who promptly spent it while breaking up good sequences.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Nice, I've got quite a collection myself but don't know whats in it. Grandpa left it for me and Mom put what I was given of it in the bank. My idiot Uncle split it up and gave the rest to his sons who promptly spent it while breaking up good sequences.

I haven't counted my dollar coins in a while. Last count was 210$ in the gold coins alone, but since I returned to the $Tree I've gotten more (five of them first day back).

[Ironclad Alibi]

Ah-wuh? If I'm getting money in a card, I don't care if the bill is a brand new one, or wrinkled and limp from being passed around since 1974. 20 bucks is 20 bucks!

Well sure, if you're getting $20.00 you don't care if it's fresh. But if it's only $5.00 in the gift card, it needs to be fresh to offset the cheapness.

*Digs for collection*

I don't have any fives, sorry. I got an original (meaning no letter) 1963 ten dollar bill, a reprint 1957 (A) 1 Silver Certificate, 32 2$ bills (dated 1979-2003), various silver dimes, nickels, and quarters, a couple silver dollars and a whole roll of half dollars. Also have two steel pennies and a whole roll of bicentennial quarters.

As for my bank note collection, I have a $5 silver certificate, three large size "horse blanket" $1 bills and two Confederate bills ($10 and $100). But the pride of my collection isn't even a bank note. It is an unused 1835 railroad ticket.

[Becks]

I despise "fresh" bills.

They just don't feel right.

Gotta be a bit crumpled, ya know?

[Gurndigarn]

I despise "fresh" bills.

They just don't feel right.

Gotta be a bit crumpled, ya know?

I lost count of the number of customers who tried to stick a new bill in the changer— several times— and were amazed when I went over to assist them, and the first thing I did was crumple their bill up. Absolutely new bills are sometimes just a hair too long, or short, or something.

[RedRoseSpiral]

I always hate how frest bills stick together. They can be a bitch to get out of the till. Just like you had to deal with getting a bitch away from the till.