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  • bookshop customers

    Wierd things customers say in bookshops
    "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

  • #2
    Me: Hello Ripping Yarns.
    Customer: Do you have any mohair wool?
    Me: Sorry, we're not a yarns shop, we're a bookshop.
    Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns.
    Me: Yes, that's 'yarns' as in stories.
    Customer: Well it's a stupid name.
    Me: It's a Monty Python reference.
    Customer: So you don't sell wool?
    Me: No.
    Customer: Hmf. Ridiculous.
    Me: ...but we do sell dead parrots.
    Customer: What?
    Me: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
    Customer: Erm, no.
    Me: Ok, well if you change your mind, do call back.

    Testing
    "I saw a flock of moosen! There were many of 'em. Many much moosen. Out in the woods- in the woodes- in the woodsen. The meese want the food. The food is to eatenesen."

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    • #3
      Oh my god

      Customer: I read a book in the eighties. I don't remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?
      I have found books for people with little more than this. I don't know whether to be proud of this or not.

      Quoth Caveat Emptor View Post
      Me: ...but we do sell dead parrots.
      Customer: What?
      Me: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
      Customer: Erm, no.
      Me: Ok, well if you change your mind, do call back.

      Agreed.

      From part 2:
      Customer: Do you have brown eyes? *peers over at me*
      Me: Yes, I do.
      Customer: My mother told me never to trust anyone with brown eyes.
      Me: You have brown eyes.
      Customer: ..........
      ...I have brown eyes...!!!
      Last edited by BookstoreEscapee; 07-06-2011, 11:41 PM.
      I don't go in for ancient wisdom
      I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
      It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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      • #4
        Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
        ...I have brown eyes...!!!
        See! You aren't really my brother our sister. The po-lice brought you...
        [/Cos]
        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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        • #5
          Customer: I'm just going to nip to Tesco to do the weekly shop. I'm just going to leave my sons here, is that ok? They're three and five. They're no bother.
          If they're "no bother", why don't you take them to Tesco with you?!
          Customer: I read a book in the eighties. I don't remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?
          The first thing that popped into my mind was "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy". I wonder if that's the one? (Maybe I should work in a bookshop...!)
          Customer: *nastily* If you can write, can I have a receipt?
          Me: If you can read, I'll write you one.
          I hate customers who are deliberately nasty to the differently-abled. They deserve all the snarkiness they get.
          Man: *enters bookshop smoking a cigarette*
          Me: Excuse me?
          Man: Yes?
          Me: Could you put that cigarette out, please?
          Man: Why?
          Me: Because it's illegal to smoke in a public place.
          Man: This isn't a public place; there's only you and me here.
          Me: Yes, but it's still a public place. And apart from anything else: I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, and this shop is rather flammable.
          Man: Why?
          Me: … because it's filled with paper.
          Man: Is it?
          You want to smoke so badly, here you go!
          I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
          My LiveJournal
          A page we can all agree with!

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